The new Air Umbrella. Available in HIS and HERS. Because one size does NOT fit all.

Do you get tired of carrying around an umbrella?

Is it a hassle to close it up after entering a restaurant?

Do you find it annoying trying to find a spot to put a wet umbrella?

Are you afraid of your umbrella flying away due to a huge gust of wind?

If you have any of these concerns, then I have found the answer for you. Introducing the Air Umbrella:

Just think, no more worrying about where to put that wet umbrella!

No more fiddling to get your umbrella open as you exit the car.

No more worrying about how those little metal prongs on the umbrella always come off.  You too can be protected from the rain with the revolutionary new Air Umbrella! Contribute to the Kickstarter for this awesome new piece of technology designed to make our lives less moist, and you can get the Air Umbrella-a for the low, low price of $88 plus shipping.  Which means you’ll spend a lot more money on the air umbrella than you would on a normal umbrella bought at CVS or Wal-Greens.  If you act now and click on the link to the Kickstarter page, you’ll get treated to this wonderful information:

Air is everywhere on the earth. The flowing air can change the moving path of the object. The faster the air moves, the greater the energy is. The jet airflow can isolate some objects. So when we make use of the airflow, we can protect ourselves from the rain drops. Then the airflow forms an umbrella without a visible cover.

Based on this idea, we designed various types of air umbrella with postgraduates from Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics from July in 2012 to August in 2013.We also tested the air umbrellas on rainy days.

Luckily, one of our samples achieved the goal of protecting one or even more persons from the rain in the test in November 2012. But the product still needed more improvement. As the sample was designed to take a large amount of airflow, the top was big, which didn’t achieve the portable characteristic.

To design a better looking product, we cooperated with a few PhD graduates from  Beijing University of Aeronautics andAstronautics to improve the design. After a year’s hard work, we finally improved the appearance of the umbrella which may influence the effect. But at least, we could really use it outdoor on rainy days.

Yeah, all of that is good, but here’s the good stuff:

Air umbrella-a is available for female,It is about 30  centimeters  in  length and 500 grams in weight,It is not scalable.The battery life is about 15 minutes.

This is Air Umbrella-a:

The female Air Umbrella. Why is it called that? I have not one fucking clue.

But wait, there’s more:

Air umbrella-b:it is the basic style.The umbrella is 50 centimeters in length and 800 grams in weight.The battery life is about 30 minutes.

That’s right ladies. You apparently cannot handle an additional 20 centimeters in length and we all know the wimmenz cannot carry 800 grams.  Gotta have something shorter and not so heavy for women, eh? Don’t worry about rushing to look up grams to pounds.  800 grams is roughly…1.76 pounds. Yeah, that’s really heavy.

Here’s a picture of the more manly Air Umbrella-b:

Disclaimer:  No sexist attitudes were involved in the creation of this device.

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The new Air Umbrella. Available in HIS and HERS. Because one size does NOT fit all.
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