There’s this song I discovered because I’m listening to the radio more often lately. It’s called “Let It Go” (no, not THAT one) by James Bay, and it’s incredibly sad, as a breakup song is expected to be. But the angle it comes from is remarkably unique, considering the way the genre usually plays out.
Here’s the music video, and I highly recommend you listen to the song, but I’ll also post the lyrics in full below the fold and explain why this is the world’s best breakup song:
Continue reading “The World’s Best Breakup Song”
CN: ableist slurs
This post is spurred by a recent post by my colleague Ania, which is a challenge to those of us within the community to stop using ableist language for one month. I recommend reading her post explaining why certain words are harmful to neurodivergent and disabled people and can perpetuate stigma against them.
Over the last few years, I’ve come to know many people who have disabilities, or identify themselves as disabled even if they don’t have official diagnoses. Ania herself has been a big part of my revelation on this topic. I have learned through exposure that terms which I used to use casually, like “retarded,” “stupid,” “lame,” and “blind” are subtly enforcing a culture which demonizes those traits. Continue reading “Knowing Disabled People Changed My Mind About Ableist Slurs”
Well hello there! Welcome to The Orbit, and a special hello to those of you visiting my blog in particular. ;]
For those of you who aren’t familiar with me [probably most people], allow me to introduce myself: I’m Luxander, a genderqueer trans dude, poly-pansexual flower, atheist, feminist, and YouTuber.
I started my blogging career on Blogger, as so many of us have, beginning some time in high school. That blog moved to WordPress at an unknown date. My semi-professional career started with Teen Skepchick back in 2012, followed by Queereka later that year. A couple of my pieces were crossposted to the main Skepchick blog during my tenure on that network. I stepped down from those positions due to depression in late 2013, and was invited by Zinnia Jones to co-blog with her at Freethought Blogs in early 2014.
Now, I get my own space on a super awesome network with some of the most spectacular people I could ever imagine calling my peers, colleagues, and friends! I feel so honored and privileged to be part of this project, and I hope you’re as excited about it as I am. Continue reading “Hey There, Internet!”
Hey, all! The survey I mentioned last month is now available for trans participants to share information about themselves (anonymously) to improve our understanding of how trans people live in the U.S.
I just finished taking it, would love for you to take it if you’re trans and want to do it also, and here’s a link:
I just wanted to signal boost the 2015 U.S. Trans Survey, which will be available on August 19th. The National Center for Transgender Equality was behind the 2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey, which had about 6,500 participants and provided statistical insights into life for transgender people in America, and they’re hoping for even more participants in the 2015 survey.
I’ve taken the pledge to participate in the survey, and I wanted to provide you all with the opportunity to contribute as well. Last I checked, about 9,000 people had taken the pledge.
Since I started taking testosterone, I’ve been significantly more sensitive to being misgendered. I work at a busy gas station, so I see a lot of people throughout the day and I get misgendered frequently.
One of the weird ways this has manifested is through people incorrectly guessing how to pronounce my name. My nametag says “Luxander”. (It used to say “Lux” but I didn’t want to keep answering the “what is that short for” question so I fixed it.) Most of the times people mispronounce it, they squint and ask if my name is “Luxandra.” Someone asked if it was “Luxandria” one time. Yesterday, someone asked if it was Lux-on-dra, with the long A.
Okay, so I recognize that there are people with dyslexia and other disorders that result in difficulty reading. However, this happens so often and (if you’ll pardon the phrase) so aggressively that I’m pretty sure it’s not just dyslexic people doing it. Continue reading “That’s Not My Name”
Hey all! I started taking testosterone almost a month ago, and I decided to record the first self-administered injection I did. I’m not providing a transcription for this since there isn’t much continuous speaking, but I hope you enjoy watching me flounder.
TW for needles and stabbing.
Content notes for abuse, ableist slurs, misogynist slurs, beauty standards, drug use, mental illness
My mother considered herself a feminist. (She’s not dead, I just don’t talk to her any more and she might as well be.) She was also bipolar and had a difficult time communicating things in a way that made sense, even though she was intelligent and thoughtful about a lot of things.
Looking back on my childhood, I realize that there were messages she sort of tried to teach me, but didn’t effectively teach me at all. To me, it just looked like more things fitting into her patterns of erratic behavior, but now I understand why she behaved the way she did about me wanting to shave my legs and wear makeup, and why she didn’t mind walking around the house naked after a shower. A lot of my opinions were (unbeknownst to me) influenced by popular culture, so I looked down on her for some of it.
I first wanted to shave my legs and armpits when I was about 12. She stubbornly refused to let me for about a year, and I never just went and did it because she was abusive and generally I feared what would happen if I went against her directly, even if it had to do with my own body. All she ever said was that I was “too young” and that I “didn’t need to” shave my legs. It was never articulated, but now I think I understand her reasoning. Continue reading “Messages I wish my mom had actually taught me”
CN: transantagonism, discussion of hypothetical sexual assault/rape
The internet has been abuzz over this thing that happened:
[…] a Planet Fitness gym in Midland, Michigan revoked the membership of a woman who complained that the trans woman she was sharing a locker room with looked too much like a man.
Of course, this event has stirred up a bunch of conversation around whether trans people (often trans women) should have access to certain gendered spaces, namely bathrooms and locker rooms. Trans people and allies are basically of the opinion that it’s no big deal to let people pick the bathroom that’s appropriate for them and cis people need to shut the hell up about it. The opposition centers around how it can make (cis) women uncomfortable, and how there’s a chance that (cis) men could dress as women any time they wanted to gain access to these spaces and maybe attack the cis women.
It occurred to me recently that if a cis dude wanted to dress as a woman to enter a gendered restroom, he would have to a) pack the clothes and change into them right before entering the bathroom, risking detection by anyone paying attention, or b) wear the clothes out in public on the way to his dirty deed of peeking or whatever. (Which–if peeking is what you’re worried about–would mean that any cis women attracted to women would also not be allowed in the women’s room. Just saying.) Continue reading “Planet Fitness and Cis Tears”