Yes, sorry, I’m bad about actually blogging, that’s my B. I’m working on it, I promise. Also I didn’t intend to use this blog for personal things, but I haven’t written in forever so w/e.

Anyway, CN for depression, s**c*dal thoughts, exercise

I’m about to quit a job that has been exacerbating my depression and making me want to kill myself. I’ve been struggling the entire time, but the suicidality crept up in September and hasn’t fully gone away. I only started working there a year ago.

But today I filled out a formal resignation form, giving my two weeks’ notice. Also, my supervisor had the amazing idea of using up a big chunk of my annual (paid) leave for the second week, so I only actually have five more work days. Then a week-and-a-half vacation before I start my new job. (I’m going to do delivery driving for Jimmy John’s.)

Obviously this is exciting and awesome, and so I’m going to refrain from annoying my Facebook friends by putting a list here of all the things I’m looking forward to when I’m no longer employed by the USPS:

• Having pairs of shoes last longer than a couple months before completely falling apart
• Not having all my (totally wonderful) socks ruined from consistent chaffing
• 5 hour shifts rather than 8+? shifts
• A sleep schedule that doesn’t involve waking up at 6am or earlier (shifts I selected are 5p-10p or 10p-3a)
• Not having fucking dogs bothering me all the time and being worried about getting bitten
• Not being involved in a seemingly constant battle between the company and the union
• No threat of heat exhaustion/stroke or hypothermia/frost bite
• Being able to work out again because I have the time and the energy
• Having way more time and energy to do video and written content (hi!)
• Hopefully having enough flexibility to work Uber into this equation somewhere
• Super chill work environment from the brief time I spent at the location I’ll be working out of
• Probably just gonna be out as trans and queer because why not?

There’s probably more, but those are the main things I’m looking forward to. Last year I thought I was quitting an awful job for a better one but I was SORELY mistaken. Hopefully this year I’m making a better choice. Honestly the only hardship I see is in possibly not making enough money because it’s so tip-reliant but I’ll take that over constantly battling for the will to live.

Wish me luck!

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