Mock The Movie: Megapython Vs. Gatoroid transcript

I did a bit of digital archaeology and found two of our earliest transcripts had never been posted. Here’s Megapython Vs. Gatoroid, originally airing — err, tweeting — August 31st, 2011. This one was the natural Syfy follow-up to the inaugural Sands of Oblivion event that kicked off Mock The Movie — sadly, we didn’t get a transcript of the first run, so we eventually redid it.

I also found a transcript, in completely the wrong format, from our second-ever event: Atom Age Vampire. I’m going to have to parse it back into shape before I post it.

Go check out the brand-spankin’-new Mock The Movie page where all the old transcripts and subtitle files have been posted.

We’ve added .com For Murder at the end of the queue, with a tagline of “In cyberspace no one can hear you scream”. Come on, how could we not!?

And we’re actively taking submissions for new movies. The sweet spot on IMDB is between 2.5 and 4 stars. Anything lower than that is unwatchable, anything higher than that is probably too good to mock (or too self-aware to make for easy mocking). We get better participation when the movie’s available someplace for free — Hulu for Americans, for everyone for movies that are now public domain, and Youtube for movies that may end up getting yanked before showtime (so be careful when offering movies from there). We do some movies that require paid services like Hulu Plus or Netflix now and again, but we try to space those out for better participation and access. Make your suggestions in the comments!

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Mock The Movie: Megapython Vs. Gatoroid transcript

Mock The Movie: 2-Headed Shark Attack Transcript

This might be the first movie we’ve done that passes the Bechdel test. Yes, despite its obvious cheesecake premise, the presence of so many women in bikinis whose dialogs are organized to maximize the boobs-on-screen actually has a positive effect on that famous cinematic test where a film passes if two women have a dialog with each other without the presence of, or mention of, a man or male problems.

That’s maybe this film’s only redeeming quality. The two-headed shark can change size at will, hates bisexual threesomes, and is ultimately done in by a plan that depends on something arbitrarily happening differently the third time it happens. It’s still available on Netflix if you want to subject yourself to this nonsense. But if you’re just looking for bikini babes, just go find some pictures online — it’s more honest and less wasteful of anyone’s time.

Dr. Rubidium made this one again, yay two in a row! Stephanie Zvan had to drop out for lack of sleep, but PZ Myers pinch-hit for her. And it looks like CompulsoryAccount’s VLC plugin is almost ready to go. Which reminds me, I still haven’t posted the subtitles files for the last MtM. Geez, I’m slacking.
Continue reading “Mock The Movie: 2-Headed Shark Attack Transcript”

Mock The Movie: 2-Headed Shark Attack Transcript

Mock The Movie: 2-Headed Shark Attack!

Stephanie Zvan has the details, as well as our upcoming MTM schedule:

What do you get when you combine Carmen Electra, the less-popular O’Connell brother, and the daughter of a professional wrestler? Heck if I know, but it’s called 2-Headed Shark Attack. It went straight to video. We’re going to watch it and mock it this Thursday, August 16, at 9 p.m. EDT. I’m sure not all the bikinis are blatantly gratuitous. It might even be more coherent than its trailer.

If you have Netflix, you can stream the movie, or you can rent it through Amazon instant video. Sadly, this one isn’t free for everyone.

We injected this particular stinker into our schedule because of Shark Week. Ohhhh yeah. Even Syfy needs to get in on that shark action.

Mock The Movie: 2-Headed Shark Attack!

Mock The Movie: 2012: Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse poster

Join us tonight while we subject ourselves to another scientifically-implausible monster movie! This time, we’re taking on a Syfy original movie, 2012: Zombie Apocalypse, which is sure to have both zombies and apocalypse in equal measure, judging from previous offerings involving megasharks and giant octopi.

This one stars Ving Fucking Rhames though, so there’s a glimmer of hope that there will be a tiny bit of awesome. Let’s see if our snarkers can find it and extricate it from the rest of the heap before we become victims of the zombie menace!

Here’s how we do this Mock The Movie thing:

  1. Start following @MockTM on twitter.
  2. Start watching 2012: Zombie Apocalypse Thursday, May 3rdth, at 9PM EST.  It’s available on Netflix for certain. Obtaining it otherwise (e.g. via DVD) is an exercise left to the snarker.
  3. Once you’ve got 2012: Zombie Apocalypse going, tweet your snarky comments to @MockTM.  Directing our tweets to @MockTM will keep our followers from being overwhelmed with our snark!
  4. Let the snark roll on Twitter!

Bring your chainsaws and cricket bats, katanas and chainmail, whatever you think it’ll take to keep tweeting through this one!

Mock The Movie: 2012: Zombie Apocalypse