Mock The Movie OVERTIME: @BlakeStacey watches The Giver

That poor Blake Stacey. Constitution so strong a monthly movie isn’t enough for him so he’s gotta go seek out movie tripe on his own now and then. He does The Giver, because he is so giving.

@blakestacey: @MockTM Gonna try another solo I-watched-it-so-you-don’t-have-to session with THE GIVER (2014)
2015-01-17 03:41:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM The Water Company presents
2015-01-17 03:41:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM sploosh sploosh sploosh
2015-01-17 03:41:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM Uh, spoilers?
2015-01-17 03:42:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM Brought to you by people who insisted DARK CITY had to be explained
2015-01-17 03:42:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM Currently rating a subtlety of zero point who gives a fuck
2015-01-17 03:43:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM what? no no no no no no no
2015-01-17 03:43:31
@blakestacey: @MockTM Screenwriting by … I’m guessing the creators of THE OUTRAGEOUS OKONA
2015-01-17 03:44:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM Part of what made the book so captivating was how the differences between its world and the reader’s were deployed
2015-01-17 03:45:55
@blakestacey: @MockTM i.e., carefully, subtly, building up a supremely creepy atmosphere. Pop quiz: how much of that is going on here?
2015-01-17 03:47:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM Fusion cuisine!
2015-01-17 03:47:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM What’s with the swank corporate-lobby decor of the homes?
2015-01-17 03:48:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM These people are awfully focused on their past, for people who aren’t supposed to have one
2015-01-17 03:49:27
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ceremony of the Aged-Up-to-Make-the-Movie-Marketable-to-Teens
2015-01-17 03:50:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM He’s special, so he warrants a blurb nobody else gets?
2015-01-17 03:51:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ah, it’s the main characters who get biographies
2015-01-17 03:52:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM The delivery of this whole speech is coming across very odd
2015-01-17 03:53:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Like it needs … pauses or something? (pardon my imprecision of language)
2015-01-17 03:54:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM The only good thing so far is Jeff Bridges’ casting
2015-01-17 03:55:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM also, if Jonas has been seeing colour all along, what was so remarkable about Fiona’s hair?
2015-01-17 03:57:19
@blakestacey: @MockTM unfortunately, people other than Jeff Bridges are in this movie
2015-01-17 04:00:00
@blakestacey: @MockTM hey, spoilers!
2015-01-17 04:01:11
@blakestacey: @MockTM we have a title!
2015-01-17 04:03:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM and now Jonas gets the memory of barfing overboard
2015-01-17 04:06:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM I’m about to get angry and resentful at this movie
2015-01-17 04:08:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM foreshadowing!
2015-01-17 04:10:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM here’s hoping for this ending badly
2015-01-17 04:11:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM The Speaker complains about touching, but not tray-sledding?
2015-01-17 04:12:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Oh, and look, there’s a plot hole.”
2015-01-17 04:14:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM am I just upset that things are being revealed in a different order, or is this order of development just wrong?
2015-01-17 04:16:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Shouldn’t Jonas figure out the thing with the injections himself?
2015-01-17 04:16:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM “A beautiful wedding! Here in I-tal-y!”
2015-01-17 04:17:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Why would anyone want to get rid of this?” “In-laws.”
2015-01-17 04:18:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I didn’t know what to think, what to believe.” And the movie doesn’t know how to convey anything without spelling it out.
2015-01-17 04:21:31
@blakestacey: @MockTM Whoops, let that memory play a bit too far
2015-01-17 04:24:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM Oh, he’s remembering the daydreams of a Harlequin writer
2015-01-17 04:24:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM There’s a sick irony in all the individuality of THE GIVER being leeched away to make it like any other marketable dystopia
2015-01-17 04:26:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hey, whadya know. We finally got an effective moment.
2015-01-17 04:29:51
@blakestacey: @MockTM Argh. And the narration comes back to step on it all.
2015-01-17 04:31:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM He’s quitting, but he wants her to join … ?
2015-01-17 04:32:46
@blakestacey: @MockTM As opposed to two long months
2015-01-17 04:34:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM Jeff Bridges’ performance works so much better than everything around it
2015-01-17 04:36:39
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Back and back and back and back” is said in a tone indicating it’s been said before, but I don’t think it has
2015-01-17 04:37:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM Dude, she said no.
2015-01-17 04:39:37
@blakestacey: @MockTM “What is this thing called ‘kiss’?”
2015-01-17 04:39:50
@blakestacey: @MockTM Oh, right, Asher is in this movie.
2015-01-17 04:42:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM That might have meant more if I hadn’t forgotten about him.
2015-01-17 04:42:40
@blakestacey: @MockTM Instant character growth!
2015-01-17 04:45:19
@blakestacey: @MockTM Next, on the National Geographic channel
2015-01-17 04:46:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM Unleash the Mechanical Hound!
2015-01-17 04:46:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, they’re going to kill him, letting all the memories go free, just like when Rosemary died?
2015-01-17 04:47:57
@blakestacey: @MockTM ::sigh::
2015-01-17 04:49:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM electric bicycles! because it’s the future!
2015-01-17 04:50:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Huh? Sounds like something copy and pasted from a different movie.”
2015-01-17 04:51:22
@blakestacey: @MockTM ::sigh:: just … ::sigh::
2015-01-17 04:52:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM let’s put the two actual actors together in a scene and see what happens
2015-01-17 04:53:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM Why does the Community have a jail?
2015-01-17 04:54:06
@blakestacey: @MockTM How does she know that Jonas is heading towards the triangle of rocks?
2015-01-17 04:55:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM ZOOM OF INTENSE DRAMA
2015-01-17 04:56:22
@blakestacey: @MockTM “It’s finished. BTW, don’t look at anything my drone might have recorded.”
2015-01-17 04:58:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I strengthened Gabe with memories…and weakened the screenplay with voiceovers.”
2015-01-17 04:59:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I have felt things! About a boy!”
2015-01-17 05:00:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM These biomes are like the Genesis Planet
2015-01-17 05:01:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM Yeah, that boundary was not that far away on the map
2015-01-17 05:01:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM This movie would be stupendously better if it were just an audiobook of the novel read by Jeff Bridges
2015-01-17 05:03:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong. Like in making this movie. Choosing wrong.”
2015-01-17 05:05:05
@blakestacey: @MockTM “It’s a sled. And, hey, look, a stuffed tiger.”
2015-01-17 05:06:24
@blakestacey: @MockTM meta-x soaring-music
2015-01-17 05:08:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM how? how do you know that?
2015-01-17 05:09:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM “perhaps it was only an echo”? are you certain, or not?
2015-01-17 05:09:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM consistency of tone! how does it work?
2015-01-17 05:10:11
@blakestacey: @MockTM well. that movie fell into a hard-to-snark regime of unremarkability.
2015-01-17 05:10:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM not good enough to be good, not bad enough to be hilarious
2015-01-17 05:11:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM Taylor Swift as Rosemary? I take it back. That’s enough kinds of bad to be side-splitting
2015-01-17 05:12:31
@blakestacey: @MockTM I’ve watched too many Marvel movies. There’s not going to be a stinger, is there?
2015-01-17 05:14:56
@lousycanuck: @blakestacey @MockTM I am sorry to hear of the loss of your hour-and-a-half. May it rest in peace.
2015-01-18 05:18:46
@blakestacey: @lousycanuck @MockTM I think this tweet more or less sums up my reaction:
2015-01-18 05:41:21

Mock The Movie OVERTIME: @BlakeStacey watches The Giver
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