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Letter from the President of Americaland

In 2013, the admitted Canadian Jason Thibeault emigrated from Canada to America to get a good job at a good company in Minnesota. He has faced a number of challenges to make the journey, including having to take a three-month course in two weeks, and having to pull up all roots in Canada and sell many possessions. Some of these hurdles pale in comparison with the challenges others may face, and he has been mindful of that even while he has managed to overcome them himself. He is now living in America and he and his wife Jodi are settling into a new life.

Those challenges and hurdles against Jason Thibeault were unfair and in many cases costly, and as President of This Nation, Barack Obama regrets them and will work to reform immigration so that the path to citizenship is less painful for people who are not, like Jason Thibeault, lucky enough to fall under a NAFTA immigration policy. Having voted a few times for liberals in Canada, Obama is certain that his former lover Jason Thibeault is an excellent candidate to help with this fight for immigration reform. Republicans often fight immigration reform, owing likely to their latent racism and their patent hatred of Democrats and Obama in particular.

These serious and polarizing actions by Republicans create divisiveness in our government, and unfairly disadvantage people in similar situations who might need to come to America. Most of the outrage directed at Mexican immigrants, for example, stems directly from them having no true path to citizenship. Racists call them slurs, and Tea Party members erect fences to prevent Mexicans from crossing the border. Some are shot at by so-called Minute Men; some may even die from their injuries.

Obama cannot entirely undo the damage to these people who have been shot or slandered or unfairly vilified by Republicans, but this letter to Jason Thibeault is a sincere effort to set the record straight. Barack Obama and Jason Thibeault ask that politicians and others who have unfairly characterized the push for immigration reform please challenge or remove from their interwebblogsites any such attacks. Any such attacks only serve to perpetuate Republican efforts to undermine immigration reform.

This issue has unfortunately detracted from the success that Jason Thibeault has had in immigrating to Americaland. Barack Obama would like to grant Jason Thibeault some reasonably high political office, though he is still a Canadian citizen, knowing that he would thus be more capable of assisting in fighting for immigration reform on Barack Obama’s behalf. Perhaps a fiefdom in St. Paul. We still have those, right?