Mock the Movie: Super Mario Bros transcript

Taking a short break from OmegaCon — a tiny gathering of nerds playing board and video games for a weekend in Wisconsin — to post this nerdy video-game-related Mock The Movie transcript. Oh, and also sleep.

This movie did not hold up as well as I thought it would. Then again, I was like, what, 15? At the time I thought it was totally cool and exciting. And now… I could have done without, you know, all the millions of ways that it was nothing like the video games.

@lousycanuck: In 1hr! Are you all ready to thrill, spill and chill at what Leguizamo, Hopper and Hoskins can do with this loosely Marioesque film? @MockTM
2013-04-25 23:53:22
@laencleardale: @MockTM But…but…but the post says the 24th….it’s the 25th right…am I completely off on what day it is?!!! OMFSM what day is it?!?!?
2013-04-25 23:55:08
@leilah: @lousycanuck @MockTM Oh, geez, forgot about Leguizamo being in it. =)
2013-04-26 00:05:09
@lousycanuck: Tonight we put life on hold for an hour and a half to make fun of Super Mario Brothers (The Game): The Movie. Starting in 11 mins! @MockTM
2013-04-26 00:49:13
@drskyskull: @lousycanuck @MockTM Where can we watch these Mario supposed “brothers”?
2013-04-26 00:52:13
@lousycanuck: @drskyskull @MockTM Right here:
2013-04-26 00:53:05
@lousycanuck: @drskyskull @MockTM You’re right to be skeptical. As if anyone’s really named Mario Mario!
2013-04-26 00:53:41
@ReasJack: @MockTM Can’t tonight. Need my beauty sleep for a job interview early. Mock On!
2013-04-26 00:54:52
@WowbaggerOM: @lousycanuck @MockTM “Where’s Daisy you biscuit-head?”
2013-04-26 00:56:00
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, ready for mocking. I have to warn you, I’ve never played the video game this thing is based on.
2013-04-26 00:59:18
@lousycanuck: @brx0 @MockTM You’re the only one with a chance at surviving the night, then.
2013-04-26 00:59:44
@blakestacey: Well, if @drskyskull is joining @MockTM tonight, I’ll stay around awhile.
2013-04-26 00:59:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM @brx0 That’s okay; I’m guessing the writers didn’t either.
2013-04-26 01:00:12
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, this theme music sounds vaguely familiar. My kid brother was the Nintendo freak.
2013-04-26 01:00:22
@brx0: @MockTM Animated dinos & skunks with Jersey accents. Seems legit.
2013-04-26 01:00:59
@szvan: @MockTM @brx0 Nobody’s played the game *this* movie is based on.
2013-04-26 01:01:13
@drskyskull: @MockTM So, is this a campy “Adam West” style adaptation or a gritty, dark “Christian Bale” reimagining?
2013-04-26 01:01:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Allied [with the powers of darkness] Filmmakers”
2013-04-26 01:01:27
@brx0: @MockTM Hey, parallel dinosaur dimension. Sounds legit.
2013-04-26 01:01:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah, the lilting refrains of SMB 1-1. So uplifting.
2013-04-26 01:01:43
@drskyskull: @MockTM 1 minute in and I think they’ve burned through their operating budget already.
2013-04-26 01:01:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM Fun fact: this movie is banned in Kansas.
2013-04-26 01:01:58
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Opening animation looks like a Philips CD-i game.
2013-04-26 01:02:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Brooklyn didn’t look much different 65 million years ago. Well, at least after the meteor hit.
2013-04-26 01:02:16
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, Eart, we’re so glad you survived the meteor strike.
2013-04-26 01:02:23
@brx0: @MockTM A heartwarming scene of child abandonment in front of some sort of church. Oh goody.
2013-04-26 01:02:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM I hope for @pzmyers’ sake he isn’t watching tonight; the evolution bits would probably make his head explode.
2013-04-26 01:02:32
@brx0: @MockTM Gah, nuns. Terrifying.
2013-04-26 01:02:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM Just the nonavian dinosaurs? But what about all the other genera which perished at the K-Pg boundary?
2013-04-26 01:03:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Special guest star: Kal-El.
2013-04-26 01:03:32
@szvan: @MockTM I think I know people who dressed like that when this movie was made.
2013-04-26 01:03:49
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Praise the Lord! Omelets for everyone for breakfast!”
2013-04-26 01:03:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Praise be to god, the biggest omelette ever.
2013-04-26 01:04:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM They missed a great opportunity to dub in the pipe music cue when she pops down the manhole
2013-04-26 01:04:15
@CA7746: @MockTM Baby. Pointy rock. All that nun training finally paid off.
2013-04-26 01:04:26
@brx0: @MockTM Meanwhile, mama returns to the sewers of Brooklyn. Fwiw in 2013 the Brooklyn sewers are all gentrified & full of hipsters.
2013-04-26 01:04:26
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck Jinx! 🙂
2013-04-26 01:04:48
@brx0: @MockTM They don’t seem to be very successful plumbers, do they?
2013-04-26 01:05:42
@leilah: @brx0 @MockTM And yet, they make a really neat bed…
2013-04-26 01:06:03
@drskyskull: @MockTM I preemptively declare this movie to be zero stars if Bob Hoskins doesn’t growl “Fuck me!” like he does in “The Wall.”
2013-04-26 01:06:06
@brx0: @MockTM Also, they respond immediately to a customer call. I call shenanigans.
2013-04-26 01:06:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Mario Bruddas Plumbin’, no problem too small, not even goombas in the drainpipe.
2013-04-26 01:06:48
@brx0: @MockTM Nothing good ever arrives in a Lincoln Town Car.
2013-04-26 01:06:55
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Is that how hiring a plumber works? You just put out a call and whoever shows up first gets the job?
2013-04-26 01:07:05
@drskyskull: @MockTM @RealEnthusedMTM Usually, you put out a call and NOBODY shows up.
2013-04-26 01:07:53
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “How long are you going to be digging up these bones?” “How many bones are there?”
2013-04-26 01:08:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I’m the boss elsewhere.” Intimidation, not so much?
2013-04-26 01:08:38
@brx0: @MockTM If I had any Italian ancestors, I might be offended right about now.
2013-04-26 01:08:54
@brx0: @MockTM The early 90s were kind of a golden age for dimwitted henchmen.
2013-04-26 01:09:38
@leilah: @MockTM Ok, I’ll grant that I haven’t seen that one before. Nice work with the glass.
2013-04-26 01:09:55
@drskyskull: @MockTM Right now, CNN is reporting that a young blonde woman is being pursued by two “dark-skinned males.”
2013-04-26 01:10:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Nyuk nyuk, whoopwhoopwhoop.
2013-04-26 01:10:16
@brx0: @MockTM Hey, a Meet Cute at a pay phone. #Obsolete
2013-04-26 01:10:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM HI I’M DAISY
2013-04-26 01:10:49
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Hey, I’ve got a van.” WORST. PICKUP LINE. EVER.
2013-04-26 01:11:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’ve got a van…” “It’s nice, but it’s no go-kart.”
2013-04-26 01:11:58
@brx0: @MockTM Not totally sure these guys are brothers in real life.
2013-04-26 01:13:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Do you eat?” “Not generally.”
2013-04-26 01:13:17
@leilah: @MockTM Murderous stalkers or creepy stalkers. Hm. Tough choice…
2013-04-26 01:13:18
@szvan: @MockTM You know, I’m pretty sure she already thought you were a complete idiot. A nice idiot, but an idiot.
2013-04-26 01:14:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Leguizamo would look horrid with a moustache. Good stylistic choice, directors.
2013-04-26 01:15:30
@szvan: @MockTM Wow. I’ve never met an orphan before!
2013-04-26 01:15:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Spike and… who? Lakitu?
2013-04-26 01:16:07
@szvan: @MockTM Can we get to the cartoony bits soon so Fisher Stevens doesn’t look so out of place?
2013-04-26 01:16:18
@drskyskull: @MockTM Is slapstick comedy supposed to make me existentially sad?
2013-04-26 01:16:22
@szvan: @MockTM @drskyskull Yes.
2013-04-26 01:16:41
@brx0: @MockTM Ugh, creeper henchmen.
2013-04-26 01:16:48
@drskyskull: @MockTM Strange, usually it’s the guy offering to show his date his bones. #toomuch?
2013-04-26 01:17:18
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Is that Fran-Drescher-alike supposed to be Peach?
2013-04-26 01:17:37
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You think what I do is interesting?” “Well, I’m really more into Cretaceous mammals…”
2013-04-26 01:18:07
@lousycanuck: @blakestacey @MockTM I KNEW YOU COULDN’T RESIST.
2013-04-26 01:18:28
@brx0: @MockTM Of course, in RL the greedy developers would’ve had an NYPD escort when they did that…
2013-04-26 01:19:06
@drskyskull: @MockTM I have so many filthy jokes related to this scene but everyone would block me.
2013-04-26 01:19:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It’s almost as if… he was a monster, trying to be a human-sized raptor with a giant tongue that wears a saddle.”
2013-04-26 01:19:16
2013-04-26 01:19:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This is like that XKCD comic about trying to use your new skills to save the world. Power fantasy for plumbers.
2013-04-26 01:20:00
@leilah: @lousycanuck @MockTM What, you mean, like this…?
2013-04-26 01:20:53
@brx0: @MockTM Something tells me the princess is in a different castle. Just guessing here.
2013-04-26 01:20:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Mario? You’re on the Global Frequency.”
2013-04-26 01:21:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Synchronized bopping!
2013-04-26 01:21:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do…”
2013-04-26 01:22:11
@drskyskull: @MockTM You know how I know this isn’t an accurate Nintendo movie? Because it would’ve spawned about 100 sequels, each pretty much the same.
2013-04-26 01:22:14
@szvan: @MockTM Luckily, that light was completely unnecessary in those deep tunnels.
2013-04-26 01:22:15
@brx0: @MockTM Yay, early 90s movie CGI. Still beats SyFy.
2013-04-26 01:23:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Hey, isn’t this falling scene from Cool World?
2013-04-26 01:23:54
@brx0: @MockTM A strange, horrible parallel dimension. This is Staten Island, isn’t it?
2013-04-26 01:24:12
@CA7746: @MockTM How’d the shoes get off his feet and onto that lamppost?
2013-04-26 01:24:26
@drskyskull: @MockTM I kinda expected Mario World to look less… like a rave.
2013-04-26 01:24:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh, I remember this level. The Blade Runner level from Super Mario 3. Yeah, totally legit.
2013-04-26 01:24:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM Huh, I don’t remember the Blade Runner level.
2013-04-26 01:25:04
@brx0: @MockTM But then, “Koopa” sorta-almost-rhymes with “Bloomberg”. Coincidence? We report, you decide.
2013-04-26 01:25:24
@lousycanuck: @blakestacey @MockTM HAH. That’s twice now!
2013-04-26 01:25:38
2013-04-26 01:26:01
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck @blakestacey So… Daisy… … replicant?
2013-04-26 01:26:13
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I was a Teenage Mammal X X X”. Starring Vin Diesel, no doubt.
2013-04-26 01:26:42
@brx0: @MockTM Hey, it’s whatsisname. You know, the famous actor. The ham, you know the guy.
2013-04-26 01:26:47
@leilah: @mocktm “Don’t get your oatmeal on the ceiling, dear.”
2013-04-26 01:27:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ooh, hey, look, those wall spikes are totes in Koopa’s castle in the games. LEGIT!!!
2013-04-26 01:27:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM Chick’s got a pretty hot rack for a non-mammalian species.
2013-04-26 01:28:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Plumber alert. Defcon 3.
2013-04-26 01:28:44
@leilah: @mocktm I swear, if he so much as thinks of saying “Mommy,” I’m out of here.
2013-04-26 01:28:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s a ten kart pile-up!
2013-04-26 01:30:09
@drskyskull: @MockTM The most dangerous threat in this movie so far has been an elderly woman. I think something has gone terribly wrong.
2013-04-26 01:30:36
@szvan: @MockTM Yup, things just got worse.
2013-04-26 01:30:51
@brx0: @MockTM Looks like it’s time to chase the MacGuffin.
2013-04-26 01:30:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Toad? Worst cameo ever.
2013-04-26 01:31:28
@brx0: @MockTM Wait, cops arresting people for singing anti-Koopa songs? This *is* a Bloomberg metaphor, isn’t it?
2013-04-26 01:31:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh right, the Mad Max level.
2013-04-26 01:32:05
@szvan: @MockTM Step over here. We just need to take your cheek print.
2013-04-26 01:32:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wait, if this is about to become a women-in-prison movie, I might become interested.
2013-04-26 01:32:45
@brx0: @MockTM But… what if *we’re* living in the parallel Koopa-Bloomberg dimension? #MindBlown
2013-04-26 01:32:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM True fact: everyone at Nintendo was pissed about the “Mario Mario” thing and declared it non-canon. The rest of the movie… eh.
2013-04-26 01:33:09
@drskyskull: @MockTM The movie has turned into “The Shawshank Redemption” as directed by Uwe Boll.
2013-04-26 01:33:47
@brx0: @MockTM Cops taking Polaroids. Heh. #OldMovie
2013-04-26 01:33:57
@brx0: @MockTM Old king de-evolved into fungus. That part’s a Cheney metaphor, isn’t it?
2013-04-26 01:34:57
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Such salty language! Goofball, clown, egg-sucking son of a snake, lame-o…
2013-04-26 01:35:07
@drskyskull: @MockTM Was this movie some sort of community service sentence for Dennis Hopper? #NoWaitThatWasWaterworld
2013-04-26 01:35:09
@szvan: @MockTM Couldn’t they find something more original to do with his hair than Max Headroom?
2013-04-26 01:35:22
@leilah: @mocktm NO! Not the Devo chamber!!
2013-04-26 01:36:17
@drskyskull: @MockTM Koopa’s next line: “FUCK. THAT. SHIT. PABST! BLUE! RIBBON!”
2013-04-26 01:36:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The Devo chamber. Where they’re going to get whipped good.
2013-04-26 01:36:42
@brx0: @MockTM They’re off to the “Devo Chamber”. That would be a good name for a bar.
2013-04-26 01:36:47
@drskyskull: @MockTM I believe this “de-evolve” scene is used to educate in Texas biology classes.
2013-04-26 01:37:13
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh way to go. Now Koopa is going to turn into a very large angry turtle thing.
2013-04-26 01:39:32
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Let’s hit the bricks.” OH YOU.
2013-04-26 01:41:30
@szvan: @MockTM Any plan that relies on your de-evolved force shooting straight should probably be reconsidered.
2013-04-26 01:42:00
2013-04-26 01:42:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @szvan Yeah, especially when you shrink their heads and thus affect their stereo vision.
2013-04-26 01:42:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM So far, the most this movie has had to do with video games is the character who played a lot of them.
2013-04-26 01:42:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan You have concisely summarized why the modern Republican party is having so much political trouble.
2013-04-26 01:43:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM And they meet Sam Lowry and his love interest coming up the other way…
2013-04-26 01:43:31
@leilah: @mocktm I definitely should have gotten more alcohol for this.
2013-04-26 01:44:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Tunnel not finnished”? Apparently they import all their foreign labour from Finland.
2013-04-26 01:44:32
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Explosions and boogers. Definitely canonical.
2013-04-26 01:45:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM It’s the sound effect which really sells the gravity of the situation.
2013-04-26 01:45:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM You know what? I’ll be J.J. Abrams could totally revitalize this franchise.
2013-04-26 01:45:59
@szvan: @MockTM All that, and Fisher Stevens is still waaay more cartoony.
2013-04-26 01:46:16
@CA7746: @MockTM Uh, that cladogram’s collapsing. #WrongDirection
2013-04-26 01:47:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM I think we just leveled up to a technical Bechdel pass. !
2013-04-26 01:47:56
@drskyskull: @MockTM So here we have characters who think being smart is the worst thing possible. Metaphor for American educational system?
2013-04-26 01:48:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM All these female lizards have mammary glands. I’m just saying.
2013-04-26 01:49:18
@drskyskull: @MockTM “What do you know of my mother?” “She was born into an 80s music video.”
2013-04-26 01:49:32
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM So fresh and so clean? Koopa’s quoting Outkast lyrics.
2013-04-26 01:51:15
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Clever girl…”
2013-04-26 01:51:19
@leilah: @mocktm AUGH!!!
2013-04-26 01:53:08
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Koopa’s goons always travel single file, to hide their numbers.”
2013-04-26 01:54:08
@leilah: @mocktm Haven’t seen this much hatred for a career choice since Devil Fish’s “Electrician”.
2013-04-26 01:54:17
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM This world might best be described as a futuristic trashscape.
2013-04-26 01:54:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We’ve got to get them before the Jawas do!”
2013-04-26 01:54:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah, so, apparently super-evolved intelligence in lizards manifests as eloquent bumbling.
2013-04-26 01:54:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah, your princess is in THIS castle.
2013-04-26 01:56:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We’re sorry, your princess is in the west tower.”
2013-04-26 01:56:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh gods don’t let this be a strip club. Please don’t let this be a strip club.
2013-04-26 01:58:07
@szvan: @MockTM This is not an improvement over Leguizamo’s bare chest.
2013-04-26 01:58:20
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck This scene is kinda how I imagine Tim Burton would direct “Taxi Driver.”
2013-04-26 01:59:03
@szvan: @MockTM Aw, what timing. Miss you, Chrissy.
2013-04-26 01:59:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM I’m noticing a distinct lack of triple-breasted hookers in this club.
2013-04-26 02:00:30
@lousycanuck: @MockTM OW OWIE OW SPIKES
2013-04-26 02:00:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM We’re sorry, but your plot is in another movie.
2013-04-26 02:01:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM Correct me if I’m wrong, folks: movies are supposed to be *entertaining*, right?
2013-04-26 02:01:57
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM @drskyskull What, the relentlessly oppressive wacky music hasn’t convinced you you’re actually having fun?
2013-04-26 02:03:00
@szvan: @MockTM Nothing’s impossible. After all, they greenlit this script.
2013-04-26 02:04:14
@drskyskull: @MockTM Maybe it was the 8-bit graphics, but I never noticed how… seedy… Mario World is before.
2013-04-26 02:06:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Worst stealth mission ever.
2013-04-26 02:08:50
@szvan: @MockTM So, while you guys argue among yourselves, the women are just going to go get things done.
2013-04-26 02:09:05
@drskyskull: @MockTM It would be a great twist if it turns out the entire movie is just a drug hallucination of Hopper on the set of “Apocalypse Now.”
2013-04-26 02:09:10
2013-04-26 02:10:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM There’s no stabbings in Super Mario Brothers!
2013-04-26 02:12:23
@drskyskull: @MockTM “This is my father!?” Could be worse: could be Donald Trump.
2013-04-26 02:14:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM At the bottom of that pit is a thousand broken Marios.
2013-04-26 02:14:24
2013-04-26 02:14:45
@CA7746: @MockTM It’s GLaDOS! But the bouncy footwear is in another tower.
2013-04-26 02:15:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah dammit, don’t they teach basic first aid in Mushroom Grade-school? Don’t pull out the custom plug.
2013-04-26 02:16:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You bred Yoshis?”
2013-04-26 02:16:52
@lousycanuck: @blakestacey @MockTM Probably in all different colors too.
2013-04-26 02:18:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s-a you! Mario!!!
2013-04-26 02:21:39
@drskyskull: @MockTM In the theatrical release of this movie, it was now that the audience realized that they had been locked in the theater. #LETUSOUT
2013-04-26 02:22:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This scene was totally the inspiration for that snow level in Mario 64.
2013-04-26 02:23:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM This movie comes with a sledding mini-game inside.
2013-04-26 02:24:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM Any second now, they shoot out the underside of Cloud City, right?
2013-04-26 02:24:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Mario. Trust the fungus.” Cut from the Lucas’ first draft of Star Wars.
2013-04-26 02:26:10
@CA7746: @MockTM Koopa: Environmentalist. Don’t worry, we’ll get more.
2013-04-26 02:27:44
@szvan: @MockTM I don’t think this movie has been good for her. Great for her hair, though.
2013-04-26 02:27:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No no, you’re supposed to bop a Mecha-Koopa, then throw it up into that bucket with Koopa. Trust me. I know this game.
2013-04-26 02:28:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM Oh, just find a damn flower already.
2013-04-26 02:28:33
@CA7746: @MockTM Oh, and watch out for that crevasse, ladies.
2013-04-26 02:29:18
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Bob-omb never misses.
2013-04-26 02:29:34
@CA7746: @MockTM er, crevice (rock not ice)
2013-04-26 02:30:42
@leilah: @mocktm Look, Hoskins is cute and all, but merging? I don’t know.
2013-04-26 02:30:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Only I can withstand the force of this meteorite! Therefore, come help me mess with it, Luigi.”
2013-04-26 02:31:15
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Hey, are those SuperScopes?
2013-04-26 02:31:45
@szvan: @MockTM “Monkey.” “Uh, no, actually. Ape.”
2013-04-26 02:32:05
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Bob-omb still going… wait for it… wait for it….
2013-04-26 02:32:57
@drskyskull: @MockTM I just realized that de-evolving basically makes you sing like Tom Waits.
2013-04-26 02:33:20
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Those are, indeed, Super-Scopes. Painted dark grey.
2013-04-26 02:33:22
@CA7746: @MockTM Bob-ombs wear Reebok, apparently.
2013-04-26 02:33:51
@szvan: @MockTM Clearly, lizards did not evolve to use weapons.
2013-04-26 02:34:23
@CA7746: @MockTM Yay, the elected president died! Monarchy is reinstated!
2013-04-26 02:36:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM Oh god it’s the turbolift shaft scene from Star Trek V
2013-04-26 02:36:52
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Car chases, dance clubs, flame throwers, other-dimensional urban dystopias, and a song by Roxette? Classic Super Mario Bros.
2013-04-26 02:37:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You want to stay?” “Well, I have student loans to pay back on Earth.”
2013-04-26 02:38:16
@leilah: @mocktm It ended! It ended! Oh, thank goodness. I was really worried for a while, there…
2013-04-26 02:39:52
@CA7746: @MockTM Super Mario Bros had as many nuns as goombas!?
2013-04-26 02:39:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I wanna be wit’cha.” “I do too, but, we’re from different taxonomies, it would never work.”
2013-04-26 02:39:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM Luigi might stop moping, but I don’t think I will.
2013-04-26 02:39:58
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM “Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur!” No.
2013-04-26 02:40:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM Struggling with figuring out a moral to the story…
2013-04-26 02:40:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You’re never gonna believe this, but there’s a giant frog stealing people’s dreams!” “No, that didn’t happen.”
2013-04-26 02:40:44
@leilah: @drskyskull @MockTM Keep evolving?
2013-04-26 02:41:10
@CA7746: @MockTM Two 2nd 2nd Assistant Directors. Didn’t help.
2013-04-26 02:41:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No Yoshis were harmed in the making of this motion picture.
2013-04-26 02:41:32
@szvan: @MockTM @leilah @drskyskull Stop making video game movies!
2013-04-26 02:41:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM Got it! The moral of the story: if you’re frickin’ Dennis Hopper, you don’t have to accept every script that’s put in front of you.
2013-04-26 02:41:46
@blakestacey: @drskyskull @MockTM The only moral I can see is that, whatever our sins, we didn’t deserve *this*.
2013-04-26 02:42:26
@blakestacey: @lousycanuck @MockTM No, only members of the audience.
2013-04-26 02:43:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Whoever catered for the staff better damn well have served mushrooms and flowers at every buffet.
2013-04-26 02:43:13
@blakestacey: @MockTM It took *two* units to make this movie? That ain’t right.
2013-04-26 02:43:43
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How the hell did they get a Queen song for this?
2013-04-26 02:44:16
@drskyskull: @MockTM Oh, my goodness — part of this film was made in NC. I suddenly have an urge to move.
2013-04-26 02:44:21
@CA7746: @MockTM There was a scene after the credits!? I never made it that far.
2013-04-26 02:44:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM Original movie soundtrack available, if you could call it that.
2013-04-26 02:45:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck Incriminating pictures of Queen’s manager with a barnyard animal? #BestGuess
2013-04-26 02:45:26
@leilah: @MockTM Well, now that that’s over, I think I’ll try Shaitani Dracula or something. I need something that makes more sense.
2013-04-26 02:45:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM Distributed by Buena Vista Features, to their great regret.
2013-04-26 02:45:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Worst thing ever to be associated with the name Shigeru Miyamoto. Err, except Killer Instinct.
2013-04-26 02:46:07
@drskyskull: @MockTM Well, it was… fun? … everyone! Now I’m going to curl up in a ball and cry.
2013-04-26 02:46:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM I dunno. That movie just leaves me with the urge to bash my head into a brick. Repeatedly.
2013-04-26 02:47:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM *bloing* *bloing* *bloing* *bloing*
2013-04-26 02:47:28
@drskyskull: @MockTM Final comment: *99,000* people have watched this on YouTube. Faith in humanity falling… falling…
2013-04-26 02:47:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah. That’s it. I’m done too. Next time, it’ll be something worse. Dot Com For Murder.
2013-04-26 02:47:51
@leilah: @MockTM I’d thank all of you for helping me make it through that movie, but you’re also the reason I was watching it in the first place…
2013-04-26 02:48:03
@blakestacey: @drskyskull @MockTM Into lava.
2013-04-26 02:48:20
@lousycanuck: @leilah @MockTM I’m so sorry.
2013-04-26 02:48:28
@leilah: @lousycanuck @MockTM Ah, it’s ok. You also introduced me to Killer Condom, which was AWESOME. It balances out. 😉
2013-04-26 02:51:43

Mock the Movie: Super Mario Bros transcript

3 thoughts on “Mock the Movie: Super Mario Bros transcript

  1. 1

    Oh, come on. You’ve got to admit that Hoskins as Mario works even with a bad script. And seeing Lance Henriksen’s “mailed in” performance for a paycheque is worth it.

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