Mock The Movie: In The Year 2889 transcript (and subtitles file!)

With little further ado, here’s the transcript for this week’s Mock The Movie. It was a stinker. It was like a psychological drama and a monster movie mashed up, with all the interesting bits removed. Yes, even the senseless deaths.

For the subtitle file, in case you want to watch In The Year 2889 in VLC with the tweets as subtitles, here is the script. Right-click, save-as. It’s uploaded as a .txt file, thanks to stupid server restrictions, so change the extension to .srt . Rename it to exactly the same name as your copy of the video, put it in the same folder, and VLC should pick it up and display them automatically. Thanks once again to CompulsoryAccount7746 for the script and doing the conversion.

Promotional poster for In The Year 2889

@MockTM: What have we done to you? Besides the bad movies, that is. MT @pzmyers: @MockTM I might just pretend to be watching the RNC.
2012-08-31 00:43:08
@brx0: So, your choices for this evening’s entertainment are a.) a bad movie about telepathic cannibals (@MockTM), or b.) actual cannibals (#RNC).
2012-08-31 00:47:51
@pzmyers: @MockTM You know, this movie came out when I was 10 and a bad SF movie junkie. It’s possible I saw it in a theater.
2012-08-31 00:48:48
@pzmyers: @MockTM And have since forgotten it, of course.
2012-08-31 00:48:59
@lousycanuck: @pzmyers @MockTM Seeing it twice is no sin. Inadvisable, of course, since they’re horrid. But no sin.
2012-08-31 00:49:29
@LalSox: @DrRubidium @mocktm dammit. The ONE night I don’t bring home my laptop!
2012-08-31 00:52:11
@rvitelli: @pzmyers @MockTM It’s a movie about telepathic mutants. Are you sure you can tell the difference?
2012-08-31 00:52:56
@lousycanuck: @LalSox @DrRubidium @mocktm We try for every second Thursday if that helps.
2012-08-31 00:53:04
@szvan: @pzmyers @MockTM That’s for the best, I’m sure. And probably inevitable from what I hear.
2012-08-31 00:54:40
@rvitelli: @pzmyers @MockTM Just ponder the fact that it’s a remake of a marginally better movie by Roger Corman.
2012-08-31 00:54:41
@pzmyers: @MockTM Ponder? There will be no pondering in this movie! RT @rvitelli: Just ponder fact it’s a remake of a marginally btr movie by Corman.
2012-08-31 00:57:10
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, I’m paused on the “American International Television” logo. Always a mark of quality.
2012-08-31 00:57:12
@lousycanuck: @rvitelli @pzmyers @MockTM Are you kidding? That’s a BONUS for this endeavour!
2012-08-31 00:58:38
@blakestacey: Getting ready for @MockTM.
2012-08-31 00:59:47
@DrRubidium: Skip the horror show and watch @MockTM instead! #RNC2012
2012-08-31 01:00:00
@blakestacey: @MockTM “American International … So, not all that International, actually.”
2012-08-31 01:00:38
@CA7746: @MockTM The end
2012-08-31 01:00:42
@pzmyers: @MockTM And on the church chimes from the cemetery next door, I begin.
2012-08-31 01:00:51
@CA7746: @MockTM Nuke Testament
2012-08-31 01:00:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM We begin with a cloud. A pretty, fluffy cloud. Hey, it’s mushroom-shaped.
2012-08-31 01:00:55
@blakestacey: @MockTM I wonder if the Apocalypse really will look like stock footage?
2012-08-31 01:01:08
@szvan: @MockTM That’s auspicious. Stock footage and bass narration.
2012-08-31 01:01:27
2012-08-31 01:01:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We’ll tweet again, don’t know where, don’t know when…”
2012-08-31 01:01:47
@brx0: @MockTM Aaaand we begin with a stock mushroom cloud…
2012-08-31 01:01:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM Quinn O’Hara? Frankly, I couldn’t give a damn about this cast.
2012-08-31 01:02:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM 632 wrenches?
2012-08-31 01:02:20
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So if the Geiger counter is so high in that guy’s studio, why’s he still talking?
2012-08-31 01:02:25
@brx0: @MockTM Portentious pseudo-Biblical voice over. Or maybe actually Biblical. Sort of a Poe’s Law of voiceovers here.
2012-08-31 01:02:42
@pzmyers: @MockTM Wait, it’s supposed to be 2889. Why are they acting like it’s the 1960s?
2012-08-31 01:02:57
@blakestacey: @MockTM Population of Earth in the year 2889: 3 billion.
2012-08-31 01:03:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Three billion huh? And this is supposed to happen in what year?
2012-08-31 01:03:03
@DrRubidium: @MockTM How is it that nuclear warfare left us Ted Johnson?
2012-08-31 01:03:08
@pzmyers: @MockTM radio guy says his name, dies.
2012-08-31 01:03:25
@ColOfNature: @MockTM “This is Ted Johnson for K.B… Oh, why do I bother?”
2012-08-31 01:03:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM Dude, don’t go inviting comparisons with the Columbia Broadcasting announcer in Welles’ WoTW. It ain’t healthy.
2012-08-31 01:03:36
@magicthighs: @lousycanuck @pzmyers @MockTM has there been a mock the movie of The Room yet? If not, please schedule one ASAP at a time when EU can join!
2012-08-31 01:03:57
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Fortunately, my sweater protected us from the radiation!”
2012-08-31 01:04:03
@DrRubidium: @MockTM is Ted Johnson related to all the Johnsons mentioned in Blazing Saddles? #howardjohnson
2012-08-31 01:04:06
@brx0: @MockTM Pretty bucolic for a postnuclear wasteland, so far.
2012-08-31 01:04:19
@szvan: @MockTM Look at the black in that cloud. It must be a dirty bomb.
2012-08-31 01:04:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM There’s always hope. Let’s go inside. I still have to write my will. And take my diabetes medication.
2012-08-31 01:04:41
@pzmyers: @MockTM yeah, this nuclear wasteland looks greener and prettier than Morris.
2012-08-31 01:04:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I, for one, am comforted that cardigan sweaters have survived the nuclear holocaust
2012-08-31 01:04:56
2012-08-31 01:05:05
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Larry didn’t come.” Thanks to Twitter, it is impossible for me to interpret that phrase in an innocent way.
2012-08-31 01:05:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Provisions for the 3 of us” … good job not reminding her!
2012-08-31 01:05:12
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Larry isn’t Larry anymore. #justsayin
2012-08-31 01:05:35
@brx0: @MockTM Wow, now *that’s* an ugly 60s interior.
2012-08-31 01:05:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM PUSH. THE. CURTAINS. ASIDE.
2012-08-31 01:05:49
@szvan: @MockTM Don’t touch him. That skin is contagious.
2012-08-31 01:05:56
@pzmyers: @MockTM An ordinary glass door is protectin against fallout?
2012-08-31 01:06:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No, don’t open the door! It’s a guy that’s been dosed with rads! And us without our Rad-X!
2012-08-31 01:06:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM 740 Werthers?!
2012-08-31 01:06:26
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Um, if he’s already in YOUR HOUSE it’s too late for the Geiger counter
2012-08-31 01:06:32
@pzmyers: @MockTM I’m so lonely, I’ll take him even if he isn’t Larry. And kinda scabrous.
2012-08-31 01:06:32
@szvan: @MockTM “Who are you?” “I’m the cut-rate Elvis stand-in.”
2012-08-31 01:06:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Who are you?” “I have a bomber jacket, isn’t that enough to ID me?”
2012-08-31 01:06:55
@ColOfNature: @MockTM “Don’t touch him. He’s my responsibility. I’ll bury him under the porch.”
2012-08-31 01:07:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ooo, cute, in a 1950s kind of way
2012-08-31 01:07:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This is of course the Fallout-style radiation that doesn’t actually affect others around you, but accumulates in your system.
2012-08-31 01:07:25
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Steve wearing a wing. A good wig, but a wig nonetheless #nuclearwig
2012-08-31 01:07:33
@pzmyers: @MockTM This has got to be an amazingly well insulated house.
2012-08-31 01:07:35
@drskyskull: @MockTM “He should be dead, but he’s still breathing!” Let’s fix this right away!
2012-08-31 01:07:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Welp, there’s a supermutant in my house. Time to take a nap on the chair.
2012-08-31 01:08:03
@pzmyers: @MockTM is it 2889 yet?
2012-08-31 01:08:07
@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM According to Wikipedia, the movie is supposed to be set in 1977. Don’t know where the title came from.
2012-08-31 01:08:16
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that portrait is the scariest thing in this movie #4realz
2012-08-31 01:08:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Yes, when I think of post-nuclear survival horror, I think: old man in an armchair, gazing at an oil painting.
2012-08-31 01:08:40
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, old nuclear paranoia guy is creeping me out. Are you guys sure we aren’t watching the #RNC?
2012-08-31 01:09:00
@drskyskull: @MockTM Thanks to the screen resolution, I’m not sure if he has a geiger counter or a blender.
2012-08-31 01:09:08
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Door-to-door Rad-X salespeople! What luck!
2012-08-31 01:09:19
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Don’t shoot! There’s a girl out here!” Ah, back in the day when 30-year-old women were “girls”.
2012-08-31 01:09:23
@pzmyers: @MockTM There sure are a lot of healthy looking people wandering about in the so-called post-apocalyptic, lethal wasteland.
2012-08-31 01:09:44
@brx0: @MockTM So far the whole thing’s taking place in a single room. Technically this could be a stage play!
2012-08-31 01:10:08
@szvan: @MockTM Sorry to be so silent. I’m still trying to completely rearrange my understanding of the physics of radiation.
2012-08-31 01:10:12
@CA7746: @MockTM The fittest survived.
2012-08-31 01:10:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM Cheap 60s decor, bad acting hipsters: for all its flaws, this film has captured my view of an apocalypse quite well.
2012-08-31 01:10:24
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that hot “girl” (of 30) is going to get somebody killed #justsayin
2012-08-31 01:10:24
@pzmyers: @MockTM Is the garden also secured from fallout?
2012-08-31 01:10:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ah, his protective layer of grime and aura of moonshine fumes saved him from the fallout.
2012-08-31 01:10:40
@brx0: @MockTM These people are kind of mod looking. I bet they get eaten first, this being 1967 and all.
2012-08-31 01:10:46
@pzmyers: @MockTM Cowboy hat and whiskey jug…this IS the RNC!
2012-08-31 01:10:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Well go-lleee, it shore is hot out here in the radioactive wasteland.” *swigs moonshine jug*
2012-08-31 01:10:49
@elronxenu: @MockTM Wrenches? I thought we were using Minchins as the unit of deadly radioactivity.
2012-08-31 01:11:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Hey, where’s the XXX on that hooch bottle?
2012-08-31 01:11:12
@brx0: @MockTM So far this really doesn’t look like the year 2889, gotta say.
2012-08-31 01:11:12
@drskyskull: @MockTM @brx0 “Death of a Radioactive Salesman”
2012-08-31 01:11:26
@drskyskull: @MockTM Is he a mutant, or just Texan?
2012-08-31 01:11:49
@brx0: @MockTM Hey, a drunk hillbilly with a jug of moonshine. This bodes ill, probably.
2012-08-31 01:11:50
@szvan: @MockTM Wait. She helps carry the dripping guy upstairs and screams at the healthy one outside her window?
2012-08-31 01:11:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM Fun fact: this movie was made before foley was invented.
2012-08-31 01:11:59
@pzmyers: @MockTM Peepers, huh. I thought everyone was dead.
2012-08-31 01:12:07
@DrRubidium: @MockTM seriously, when are the cannibals going to start killing people? Start with the grumpy old man.
2012-08-31 01:12:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No, the guy peeping on my daughter with a bottle of high-proof alcohol can’t stay! Ohhh… twist my rubber arm.
2012-08-31 01:12:30
@blakestacey: @MockTM Such charm!
2012-08-31 01:12:41
@szvan: @MockTM It was very nice of them to put out the survivor beacon to draw everyone in.
2012-08-31 01:12:42
@brx0: @MockTM Hillbilly!! Scream!!
2012-08-31 01:12:50
@drskyskull: @MockTM To keep things simple, I’m going to refer to the guy in the cowboy hat as “Discount Ernest Borgnine”.
2012-08-31 01:12:59
@pzmyers: @MockTM “Let the worthless old coot stay. We’re all going to die anyway.” Good to know I’ll have some support in the future. Or 1977.
2012-08-31 01:13:11
@blakestacey: @MockTM “My second in command will be Steve. Whom I just met. Not my own daughter. Because, you know, women.”
2012-08-31 01:13:25
@szvan: @drskyskull @MockTM He goes nicely with Discount Elvis.
2012-08-31 01:13:35
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Nooo… he can’t stay!” “Ooooh, okay.” DRAMA, FOLKS!!!
2012-08-31 01:13:38
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is why we’ll never survive a nuclear event – we’ll die while arguing about who is boss
2012-08-31 01:13:39
@pzmyers: @MockTM “We may live, we may not.” I vote not.
2012-08-31 01:13:44
@CA7746: @MockTM Decade-old cake doesn’t look so good.
2012-08-31 01:13:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM If there’s six of them that suddenly happened on this one house, the odds are that tons of people are still alive.
2012-08-31 01:14:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Handy diorama is handy.
2012-08-31 01:14:16
@szvan: @MockTM “I spent 10 years getting ready for this, but I never figured out how to keep out the freeloaders.”
2012-08-31 01:14:23
@ColOfNature: @MockTM “No Los Angeles? Hoy diggity! The apocalypse ain’t all bad after all!”
2012-08-31 01:14:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM The radiation has already turned that one woman completely orange!!!
2012-08-31 01:14:29
@pzmyers: @MockTM Oooh, he has a diorama. Where’s the model train?
2012-08-31 01:14:34
@DrRubidium: @MockTM if I were trapped with these fools, I’d kill each of them so I could have some peace & quiet #justsayin :-0
2012-08-31 01:15:07
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Occult forces!
2012-08-31 01:15:10
@elronxenu: @lousycanuck @MockTM I take it they didn’t do anything special to survive so far?
2012-08-31 01:15:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Other forces? What other forces?” “Never mind that. I’ll explain now.”
2012-08-31 01:15:11
@brx0: @MockTM Old guy decides Steve, who he just met, is “second in command”. Hmm.
2012-08-31 01:15:16
@pzmyers: @MockTM Rebellion? With 6 people?
2012-08-31 01:15:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “other things” = telepathic cannibals
2012-08-31 01:15:47
@brx0: @MockTM Hey, he’s been working on this for a decade, he’s even got a diorama. No model train though.
2012-08-31 01:15:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Okay, can we get an objective measure of what a “Wrench-en” is?
2012-08-31 01:16:47
@szvan: @MockTM The acting quality and costumes here have me feeling nostalgic for the Monkees.
2012-08-31 01:17:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I don’t understand how you soaked up a superlethal dose and I still look like a NASA poster boy.”
2012-08-31 01:17:04
@lousycanuck: @magicthighs @pzmyers @MockTM Not yet, but I could see it happening.
2012-08-31 01:17:11
2012-08-31 01:17:23
@brx0: @MockTM So the old guy’s basically giving McCain’s speech from last night, isn’t he?
2012-08-31 01:17:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow she’s clumsy for a dancer. And hey, a dagger fell out of her case. SUSPICIOUS.
2012-08-31 01:18:01
@brx0: @MockTM “I don’t want that, I want fresh meat, raw meat!” This also bodes ill, probably.
2012-08-31 01:18:01
@DrRubidium: @MockTM If somebody will only eat raw meat after being exposed to a lethal level of radiation, they’re TROUBLE
2012-08-31 01:18:02
@pzmyers: @MockTM Old guy fussing over whether the couple is married…yep, it’s the RNC.
2012-08-31 01:18:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM @brx0 I think McCain’s speech is what brought about the apocalypse. #BOMBBOMBBOMBBOMBBOMBIRAN
2012-08-31 01:18:12
@CA7746: @MockTM You’re available then?
2012-08-31 01:18:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I’m sorry. Really sorry. And you’re available. Really available.”
2012-08-31 01:19:06
@ColOfNature: @MockTM I know how she feels – I always get the shivers when someone plays a theremin.
2012-08-31 01:19:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Strange. I feel like someone’s calling.” “Oh, don’t be so radioactivity-poisoned, you big baby.”
2012-08-31 01:19:14
@brx0: @MockTM Oh, a dancer + manager. Yep, they’re gettin’ et first.
2012-08-31 01:19:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM She’ll get the canned beef…from the locked storeroom… eh.
2012-08-31 01:19:44
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I find all of these motherfuckers suspicious
2012-08-31 01:19:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Smart thinking on your part. That’s why I made you second in command. Because I, like, knew that beforehand.”
2012-08-31 01:20:26
@CA7746: @MockTM He’s confusing us all.
2012-08-31 01:20:28
@szvan: @MockTM Big house, available for cheap rental for movie companies…how many porn films were made here?
2012-08-31 01:20:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM Oh, good, he’s going to go check the radioactivity with his giant meat thermometer.
2012-08-31 01:20:37
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “You know the full force of the atoms has never been calculated?” Really? In 2889?
2012-08-31 01:20:50
@brx0: @MockTM Meanwhile, Steve puts the moves on our heroine. Not wasting any time, is he?
2012-08-31 01:21:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM That radioactive rain can’t come fast enough…
2012-08-31 01:21:35
@pzmyers: @MockTM that was no coyote. That was some guy doing a Zoidberg impression.
2012-08-31 01:21:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Fighting for life. Just like us.” Yeah. With all its abundant wildlife. Very few of them severely mutated.
2012-08-31 01:21:47
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, now the old guy is telling us about the timecubes or something.
2012-08-31 01:21:51
@blakestacey: @MockTM Meanwhile, near a crashed Klingon spaceship
2012-08-31 01:22:06
@pzmyers: @MockTM I think the entire SFX budget just flashed by in a second.
2012-08-31 01:22:26
@brx0: @MockTM Theremin! Drink!
2012-08-31 01:22:31
@lousycanuck: @pzmyers @MockTM “Think of us mutant shellfish once in a while, maybe?”
2012-08-31 01:22:44
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Radioactive psychic cannibal squirrels!
2012-08-31 01:22:49
@brx0: @MockTM Now that’s what I call an unconvincing latex mask.
2012-08-31 01:23:16
@szvan: @MockTM Aww. Moonshine dood bites it first. We haven’t even gotten any cheap country music.
2012-08-31 01:23:18
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Bro, your first mistake is letting your clearly pre-cannibal brother stay alive
2012-08-31 01:23:27
@pzmyers: @MockTM “I need meat.” Fresh meat. I think I see where this is going. It’s a gay porno, isn’t it?
2012-08-31 01:23:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM My but that’s some tasty moonshine. I’d best bury it so Quasimodo won’t find it.
2012-08-31 01:23:44
@pzmyers: @MockTM Who shall be eaten first? The one that’s marinated the longest.
2012-08-31 01:24:03
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Why does he keep hiding his moonshine? Does he fear an intervention?
2012-08-31 01:24:22
@szvan: @MockTM “All right. Let’s go! What do we have to work with in the makeup department?” “Paper mache.” “Oh.”
2012-08-31 01:24:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I know he’s your brother, but…” “But what?” “But he’s really, really mutated now. Like The Blob on two legs or something.”
2012-08-31 01:24:36
@rvitelli: @szvan @MockTM Ask Larry Buchanan. I have a hunch making porn films was his only career option after this turkey came out.
2012-08-31 01:24:45
@DrRubidium: @MockTM no food or water for 3 weeks? That’s what we call a “clue”
2012-08-31 01:24:55
@brx0: @MockTM Oh wait, the hidden boozer gets eaten before the immoral young folks do, doesn’t he?
2012-08-31 01:24:56
@CA7746: @MockTM I’m not a werewolf or anything.
2012-08-31 01:24:56
@elronxenu: @MockTM Old guy logically tells them, “there’s no such thing as logic anymore.”
2012-08-31 01:25:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Huh, no water in 3 weeks. That is slightly odd, now that you’ve mentioned it.”
2012-08-31 01:25:22
@brx0: @MockTM “But, there’s no such thing as logic anymore.” Truer words were rarely spoken. In this film.
2012-08-31 01:25:36
@magicthighs: @lousycanuck @pzmyers @MockTM YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, LOUSYCANUCK!
2012-08-31 01:25:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Would you like to go with me?” “Oh. Oh no. I have to wash my hair.”
2012-08-31 01:25:56
@ColOfNature: @MockTM I am just going outside and may be some time.
2012-08-31 01:26:00
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Time to change the locks on the house and put up a “NO CANNIBALS” sign
2012-08-31 01:26:15
@szvan: @MockTM “I think he’s dangerous.” “Whatever gave you that idea?”
2012-08-31 01:26:24
@pzmyers: @MockTM Look on the bright side. At least he’s not hogging the bathroom.
2012-08-31 01:26:33
@CA7746: @MockTM Positive? She’s delusional. Destroy her.
2012-08-31 01:26:39
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Crap. The old man makes some sense.
2012-08-31 01:26:54
@ColOfNature: @MockTM We’ve gotta study him. He ain’t heavy – but /why/?
2012-08-31 01:26:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I know these two — Steve and Joanna — are going to survive to repopulate the earth. But they need to get et right now.
2012-08-31 01:27:31
@brx0: @MockTM Wait, if the mutants only eat non-mutants, they aren’t technically cannibals, are they?
2012-08-31 01:27:41
@brx0: @MockTM Still not the year 2889, btw.
2012-08-31 01:27:53
@pzmyers: @MockTM Uh-oh. Announcing you’ve got a reason to live? Cue mutants.
2012-08-31 01:27:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Didn’t you hear it?” “What, the theremin?”
2012-08-31 01:28:05
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Joanna’s replaced Harry with Steve. If you can’t love the one you want, love the one you’re with
2012-08-31 01:28:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Dude they’re okay with you going out of the house, thanks to your “I like it out there” speech. Why are you sneaking?
2012-08-31 01:28:36
@brx0: @MockTM Just realized nobody’s said the word “repopulate” yet.
2012-08-31 01:28:59
@CA7746: @MockTM It’s a trap!
2012-08-31 01:29:08
@szvan: @MockTM If we can’t scare you, we’ll nauseate you with our camera work.
2012-08-31 01:29:13
@drskyskull: @MockTM Srsly, if by the year 2889 we haven’t evolved past wearing black long sleeve turtlenecks in the summertime, we deserve annihilation.
2012-08-31 01:29:16
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Pierce Brosnan’s looking a bit mutanty.
2012-08-31 01:29:24
@pzmyers: @MockTM Is that a housecat he’s going to eat? I’m beginning to like this movie a little bit.
2012-08-31 01:29:31
@brx0: @MockTM Ah Steve, with the mansplaining about those completely harmless noises in the bushes over there.
2012-08-31 01:29:46
@drskyskull: @MockTM @brx0 The old man has already declared “repopulate” a dirty word.
2012-08-31 01:29:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Hey, did they film the Blair Witch Project near here?”
2012-08-31 01:30:02
@CA7746: @MockTM Penal code and sin.
2012-08-31 01:30:08
@CA7746: @MockTM Physics.
2012-08-31 01:30:15
@pzmyers: @MockTM Ewww. Moist bones.
2012-08-31 01:30:15
@ColOfNature: @drskyskull @MockTM the cult of Jobs will live forever.
2012-08-31 01:30:22
@DrRubidium: @MockTM dude, I think this was filmed at the LA Arboretum
2012-08-31 01:30:25
@brx0: @MockTM D’awwww, bunny!
2012-08-31 01:30:28
@szvan: @MockTM “He spends most of his nights prowling around in these woods.” So…how long has the food held out?
2012-08-31 01:30:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM This camera work is what happens when the monster from “The Evil Dead” ODs on valium before going out to hunt.
2012-08-31 01:30:34
@rvitelli: @drskyskull @MockTM @brx0 Along with “inbreeding” apparently…
2012-08-31 01:31:04
@CA7746: @MockTM Then he laughed and laughed.
2012-08-31 01:31:09
@drskyskull: @MockTM Does anyone else think that the irradiated guy looks like a slightly less grizzled Josh Brolin?
2012-08-31 01:31:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM this is like Star Trek Voyager science
2012-08-31 01:31:15
@pzmyers: @MockTM Oh, crap. Pseudo-evolutionary theory. Now I hate the movie again.
2012-08-31 01:31:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So radiation supercharges evolution to happen within single generations. This from the guy that thinks the Bible will help.
2012-08-31 01:31:27
@CA7746: @MockTM Maybe it had an effect on Granger.
2012-08-31 01:31:39
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is no time for bible study! #FFS
2012-08-31 01:31:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I had enough of that Bible when I was a kid.” You and me both.
2012-08-31 01:31:46
@ColOfNature: @MockTM I like Mickey.
2012-08-31 01:31:55
@pzmyers: @MockTM Now the bible….I fucking really hate this movie.
2012-08-31 01:32:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hey, the other two people are back again!
2012-08-31 01:32:04
@CA7746: @MockTM Dance around a fire backward.
2012-08-31 01:32:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM Whoa, raining wrenches!
2012-08-31 01:32:54
@brx0: @MockTM So the mutant brother looked up all his answers in the Bible. And he’s the one who got all mutated and stuff. QED.
2012-08-31 01:32:58
@ColOfNature: @drskyskull @MockTM I was thinking Pierce Brosnan, but I can see Brolin, too.
2012-08-31 01:33:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Hey, everybody, let’s use the blatant inconsistencies in the Bible to take our minds off of the nuclear holocaust!”
2012-08-31 01:33:12
@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM It worked for the X-Men….
2012-08-31 01:33:18
@szvan: @MockTM “I have books on everything to maintain life.” How long do they tell you it will take to grow more food?
2012-08-31 01:33:40
@CA7746: @MockTM Your funk repelled the cannibals.
2012-08-31 01:33:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow. Lucky these folks stumbled on this survivalist nutter.
2012-08-31 01:33:46
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I think there are more biblical references in this movie than Cecil B. DeMille’s Ten Commandments
2012-08-31 01:33:48
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’m starting to think that the old man’s “Geiger counter” is actually an old AM radio with a vibrator stuck on the front.
2012-08-31 01:34:19
@pzmyers: @MockTM Brilliant planning. “Let’s take turns bathing in our only drinking water!”
2012-08-31 01:34:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @szvan Well, see, if there’s not a Bible passage on growing crops, they’re kinda boned.
2012-08-31 01:34:31
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, so the radiation gave him rabies.
2012-08-31 01:34:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I just can’t take life without Facebook anymore!”
2012-08-31 01:34:51
@DrRubidium: @MockTM The future is a lot scarier than I thought. There are still mock turtlenecks
2012-08-31 01:35:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Maybe that’s why you’re still alive.” Your douchebaggery repels radiation!!!
2012-08-31 01:35:18
@pzmyers: @MockTM Mutants don’t like water. Apparently, this movie inspired “Signs”.
2012-08-31 01:35:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Obligatory pool scene. Hey, has anyone dredged that pool out recently? What about chlorine? You know, to keep the radiation out.
2012-08-31 01:35:38
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Obligatory bikini scene. It’s a union thing.
2012-08-31 01:35:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM By “spring-fed pool”, they mean “backyard swimming pool”
2012-08-31 01:35:51
@pzmyers: @MockTM Next: A TWO-HEADED SHARK!
2012-08-31 01:35:55
@brx0: @MockTM So when do we jump forward to the year 2889, anyway? *drums fingers impatiently*
2012-08-31 01:36:21
@pzmyers: @MockTM And another crap movie passes the Bechdel test.
2012-08-31 01:36:24
@DrRubidium: @MockTM How exactly is the water not contaminated?
2012-08-31 01:36:30
@szvan: @MockTM Why, in movies, is swimming never more than an excuse for swimsuits and a way to get towels wet quickly?
2012-08-31 01:36:30
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @pzmyers Nope, they’re talking about a guy.
2012-08-31 01:36:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You are good looking.” Um, I’m not entirely sure you two can repopulate the species.
2012-08-31 01:36:56
@pzmyers: @MockTM Oh, wait, yep, conversation has changed to all about a guy.
2012-08-31 01:37:00
@blakestacey: @MockTM worth trying, though
2012-08-31 01:37:07
@brx0: @MockTM Swimming pool scene! If this wasn’t a 1967 made for TV movie, this would be the “Hey, let’s take our tops off!” scene.
2012-08-31 01:37:22
@pzmyers: @MockTM and now they’re talking about the creepy mutant, who’s probably a guy, too.
2012-08-31 01:37:33
@drskyskull: @MockTM We either have a cannibalistic mutant or John McCain is crashing the pool party.
2012-08-31 01:37:52
@brx0: @MockTM But it’s 1967 so it’s just a bunch of jealous Peyton Place griping. Sigh.
2012-08-31 01:38:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It was just your imagination. You just became upset. Because you’re a woman and were thinking with your emotions again.”
2012-08-31 01:38:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You said I didn’t see anything.” “That’s right. You were just being female.”
2012-08-31 01:38:41
@CA7746: @MockTM The mental kind? Nah.
2012-08-31 01:38:43
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Mental telepathy. As opposed to…?
2012-08-31 01:39:20
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @MockTM Damn! Beat me to it!
2012-08-31 01:39:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I bet I haven’t said a dozen words to you since I got here.” Quite possibly true.
2012-08-31 01:40:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh yeah, the one guy who is offended by the Bible readings is also an attempted rapist.
2012-08-31 01:40:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow she’s a cheap drunk. One sip and she’s falling over.
2012-08-31 01:40:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM Well, these two are just made for each other.
2012-08-31 01:40:50
@szvan: @MockTM Yeah, right. The “dancer” from LA can’t handle some moonshine. Uh-huh.
2012-08-31 01:41:00
@ColOfNature: @MockTM There ain’t much but fumes left after the last few weeks, but you’re welcome to snort my bottle.
2012-08-31 01:41:08
@pzmyers: @MockTM I’m jealous. I could use a quart of moonshine ’bout now, too.
2012-08-31 01:41:21
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is really no time for drunken shenanigans
2012-08-31 01:41:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hey, @pzmyers, didn’t somebody give you a jug of that stuff at Skepticon a couple years back?
2012-08-31 01:41:42
@szvan: @MockTM Did the old guy plan for the magic that makes the food and booze last forever?
2012-08-31 01:41:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wait, they just accidentally walked into the set of The Mist.
2012-08-31 01:41:53
@brx0: @MockTM “The first taste is never good, Miss Jada”. Ok, they’re getting eaten now, right?
2012-08-31 01:42:03
@pzmyers: @MockTM this movie is half over, and the mutants so far have just skulked.
2012-08-31 01:42:30
@szvan: @MockTM We’re halfway into this movie and no one’s been eaten. I want my money back.
2012-08-31 01:42:44
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck Either that, or Discount Ernest Borgnine has some other… controlled substances… stashed away.
2012-08-31 01:42:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM “That was a chipmunk.” “AAAAALLLLVINN!”
2012-08-31 01:43:07
@DrRubidium: You and me both RT @szvan @MockTM We’re halfway into this movie and no one’s been eaten. I want my money back.
2012-08-31 01:43:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Drawings of mutant Morlock monkeys are the best this movie’s budget could do.
2012-08-31 01:43:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM “The Matsuo-Bock test? Isn’t that the one that Kirk cheated on?”
2012-08-31 01:43:31
@pzmyers: @MockTM Mutant chipmunk! Mutant dog! Mutant monkey!
2012-08-31 01:43:32
@CA7746: @MockTM Granger’s parents were a rat and a rubber monkey.
2012-08-31 01:43:40
@CA7746: @MockTM The plants must die.
2012-08-31 01:43:48
@ColOfNature: @MockTM A million years of evolution with one bomb! SCIENCE!!!
2012-08-31 01:43:51
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Let me get this straight. Old man has been sitting on important info and nobody is pissed?! #Iampissed
2012-08-31 01:44:15
@pzmyers: @MockTM Doom, doom, doom. Soon, please.
2012-08-31 01:44:16
@CA7746: @MockTM Ew, Grandpa Strangelove.
2012-08-31 01:44:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Its skin looked like rubber.” Screenwriter cleverly reduces our expectations early on.
2012-08-31 01:44:33
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah, the master plan is unveiled: Make More Mens.
2012-08-31 01:44:39
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “They should bear children as soon as possible.” I do NOT like where is movie is going #creepy
2012-08-31 01:45:04
@brx0: @MockTM Some sketches from the old guy’s upcoming graphic novel.
2012-08-31 01:45:07
@pzmyers: @MockTM “They should bear children. As soon as possible.” It always gets down to that.
2012-08-31 01:45:11
@pzmyers: @MockTM Rapist is just doing the boss’s work.
2012-08-31 01:45:36
@brx0: @MockTM “They should bear children, as soon as possible”. Yup, we’re *still* watching the #RNC.
2012-08-31 01:46:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM @pzmyers Problem is, he used to say that when he chaperoned the high school dances, too.
2012-08-31 01:46:22
@szvan: @MockTM Now we get to the horror part of this horror movie.
2012-08-31 01:46:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What? Oh I’ll have kids with Steve, but MARRIAGE? Like hell, Dad!”
2012-08-31 01:46:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM WOOOO JOANNA!
2012-08-31 01:46:36
@pzmyers: @MockTM Oh. Good thing for rapey dude that the ladies are all chill girls.
2012-08-31 01:46:37
@CA7746: @MockTM It’s what Larry would do.
2012-08-31 01:46:47
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Emergency wedding! Break out the vowin’ kit!
2012-08-31 01:46:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM Their fistfight would have been more impressive if they hadn’t installed a slip-and-slide in the front hallway.
2012-08-31 01:47:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM Odd how the need to make babies overrides the running-out-of-food thing.
2012-08-31 01:47:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “All I want is a key to that storeroom. So I can steal all their resources and let them all die.”
2012-08-31 01:48:10
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I’ll marry Steve in a week… if he’s still alive.” I got a similar agreement when I proposed to my wife.
2012-08-31 01:48:18
@rvitelli: @blakestacey @MockTM At least that way they’d have something to eat…
2012-08-31 01:48:50
@pzmyers: @MockTM “So I lied a little.” Yeah, definitely watching the RNC.
2012-08-31 01:48:54
@CA7746: @MockTM Wheeee!
2012-08-31 01:49:19
@szvan: @MockTM So the cannibals have laundry detergent, but not a change of clothes. Got it.
2012-08-31 01:49:32
@CA7746: @MockTM Gramps likes ’em freaky.
2012-08-31 01:49:36
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ahh, nothing more fun in a post-nuclear apocalypse than a little roll down a hill.
2012-08-31 01:49:49
@CA7746: @MockTM He has the weirdest one right now.
2012-08-31 01:50:19
@pzmyers: @MockTM “Don’t touch him. He’s hot.” Isn’t that exactly when you should touch him?
2012-08-31 01:50:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “My brother is stage one.” Nah, I think he’s almost stage 2 now.
2012-08-31 01:51:07
@drskyskull: @MockTM This movie is making “Night of the Comet” look like “Citizen Kane”.
2012-08-31 01:51:28
@lousycanuck: @pzmyers @MockTM Only if he consents!
2012-08-31 01:51:37
@pzmyers: @MockTM What’s wrong with spawning in bilgewater?
2012-08-31 01:52:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM That reminds me, I should refresh my drink.
2012-08-31 01:52:20
@brx0: @MockTM They aren’t really setting an industry standard for latex mask work, are they?
2012-08-31 01:52:27
@szvan: @MockTM How many days worth of manicure supplies did she horde?
2012-08-31 01:52:36
@drskyskull: @MockTM The old man’s Rice Krispies detector is going into overdrive!!!
2012-08-31 01:52:46
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Yeah, giveusawhackothisstuffquitpouringsofastheywhocomewithme”
2012-08-31 01:52:53
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Exactly how much hooch is in that bottle to get the two of them drunk so damn many times now, over so many weeks?
2012-08-31 01:53:17
@pzmyers: @MockTM It’s a bottomless jug. They’re provisions problems are solved!
2012-08-31 01:53:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh baby, cut a rug.
2012-08-31 01:53:26
@szvan: @MockTM Pointless woman dancing scene? Yep, it’s the 60s.
2012-08-31 01:53:45
@pzmyers: @MockTM Oooh, Exotic Dancing!
2012-08-31 01:53:47
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, another moonshine party. In a tighter script they’d have been eaten during the first one.
2012-08-31 01:53:57
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’m starting to worry that the first children of the rebirth of the human race will all be wearing cheap cowboy hats.
2012-08-31 01:53:57
@CA7746: @MockTM Repopulation plan’s not going well.
2012-08-31 01:54:41
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm My pappy left me that jug
2012-08-31 01:54:52
2012-08-31 01:55:03
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Not the jug! Nooooooooooooo!
2012-08-31 01:55:05
2012-08-31 01:55:10
@pzmyers: @MockTM Devil music! Demon drink!
2012-08-31 01:55:16
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I call this exotic dance ‘The Drunk Stay-At-Home Mom’.”
2012-08-31 01:55:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We’ll have no more of this disgusting behavior. Only good, clean baby-making in THIS house.”
2012-08-31 01:55:38
@szvan: @MockTM If you take away my booze, I’ll never have sex with her!
2012-08-31 01:55:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So the first non-mutant death will be from the moonshine guy’s alcohol withdrawal.
2012-08-31 01:55:40
@drskyskull: @MockTM “We’ll have no sexy music or seductive dancing in this house. Now, get busy making children!”
2012-08-31 01:56:15
@lousycanuck: @szvan @MockTM Yup, moonshine guy just confirmed that.
2012-08-31 01:56:17
@brx0: @MockTM Old Man McCain says no more fun, you disgusting kids!
2012-08-31 01:56:18
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I had no idea he was an alcoholic.” And this is our leader, folks.
2012-08-31 01:56:33
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck The only mutants in the movie will be the ones he sees during the DTs.
2012-08-31 01:56:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Well, good day-for-night.”
2012-08-31 01:57:01
@szvan: @MockTM “I had no idea he was an alcoholic.” Are we watching the same movie?!
2012-08-31 01:57:08
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Personally, I hate the stuff.” *cough cough* SUCK-UP! *cough cough*
2012-08-31 01:57:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hey maybe I’ll go ask the mutant camp if they have any booze.”
2012-08-31 01:57:33
@ColOfNature: @lousycanuck @MockTM Well he /was/ hiding his hooch out in the forest. It was a flawless plan.
2012-08-31 01:57:43
@CA7746: @MockTM He melted.
2012-08-31 01:57:55
@brx0: @MockTM Unconvincing day-for-night! Drink! (But don’t let the old guy catch you!)
2012-08-31 01:57:58
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm stage 4 requires beer goggles.
2012-08-31 01:58:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM “It was just a little rabbit…like that one in Donnie Darko…”
2012-08-31 01:58:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It was just a little rabbit. Named Harvey.”
2012-08-31 01:58:32
@DrRubidium: @MockTM am I the only one that wants the entire cast wiped out in a blood bath of telepathic cannibalism?
2012-08-31 01:58:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM The wicker armchair of authority… it could be mine!
2012-08-31 01:58:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah, follow him into the fog, that’s a good plan.
2012-08-31 01:59:11
@szvan: @MockTM Wait. The fog settles at the *top* of the valley?
2012-08-31 01:59:11
@pzmyers: @MockTM we’re almost to the hour mark. No telepathy, no cannibals, and the mutants just hide in the bushes.
2012-08-31 01:59:19
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Don’t go into that fog! It’s spilling over from Pod People!!”
2012-08-31 01:59:19
@DrRubidium: I’m disappointed too RT @pzmyers @MockTM we’re almost to the hour mark. No telepathy, no cannibals, and the mutants just hide in the bushes.
2012-08-31 01:59:57
@szvan: @DrRubidium @MockTM Do you really have to ask?
2012-08-31 02:00:02
@brx0: @MockTM Gotta say the movie with the two-headed shark was better than this.
2012-08-31 02:00:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wait, no, don’t touch him, he’s hot. Because that’s how it works, you’ve already established that.
2012-08-31 02:00:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM if Joanna and Steve are the future of the whole human race, let’s just call it a day
2012-08-31 02:00:32
@brx0: @MockTM Tim enters the fog in search of moonshine. In a better movie, that would be a metaphor or something.
2012-08-31 02:00:36
@brx0: @MockTM After all the warnings, the old guy wanders up into the mist like a n00b.
2012-08-31 02:01:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Steel claws… or… adamantium!”
2012-08-31 02:01:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM There are mutant telepathic cannibals running around and Joanne takes the time for a leisurely swim? #WTF
2012-08-31 02:01:47
@lousycanuck: @MockTM She’s just swimming for the purposes of wetting then toweling off her face repeatedly.
2012-08-31 02:01:49
@szvan: @MockTM She doesn’t have a towel on that edge of the pool. How can she stop there?
2012-08-31 02:01:55
@drskyskull: @MockTM The only way this movie can be saved is if the mutants chase the survivors around “Benny Hill”-style.
2012-08-31 02:02:05
@ColOfNature: @szvan @DrRubidium @MockTM I think we’re all counting on that as the logical conclusion to the movie.
2012-08-31 02:02:09
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm Wait… isn’t that guy in the bushes from the Residents?
2012-08-31 02:02:14
@blakestacey: @MockTM “It was just your femininity!”
2012-08-31 02:02:17
@brx0: @MockTM The old guy figures it’s ok to screw up like an idiot, so long as you arrange a coverup afterwards. Yep, still the #RNC.
2012-08-31 02:02:22
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Aaaah! Steve!” “What is it Joanna?” “I saw you — that’s why I’m screaming!”
2012-08-31 02:02:32
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How do we fight it, how do we kill it? Well duh. “Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
2012-08-31 02:02:46
@pzmyers: @MockTM Man is an ape. Taxonomic failure.
2012-08-31 02:03:06
@drskyskull: @MockTM @DrRubidium @szvan I’m starting to doubt that there was actually an apocalypse. It’s probably just Detroit over the hill.
2012-08-31 02:03:16
@brx0: @MockTM “It’s just your imagination”. Steve mansplained again…
2012-08-31 02:03:45
@szvan: @MockTM “I never had time for rape before.”
2012-08-31 02:04:03
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “I didn’t know how cheap you were until I met her.” OH, SNAP!
2012-08-31 02:04:13
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie is far too rapey 🙁
2012-08-31 02:04:44
@blakestacey: @drskyskull @MockTM @DrRubidium @szvan that’s not an apocalypse?
2012-08-31 02:04:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You’re cheap. A cheapie. You’re cheap. Inexpensive. Low-cost. I’m saying you don’t charge enough!”
2012-08-31 02:04:55
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’ll bet I could recreate all the significant moments of this film with home movies of my cats.
2012-08-31 02:05:01
@szvan: @MockTM You know, I don’t care if it’s mutant telepathic cannibals. They can just kill each other. I’d be happy.
2012-08-31 02:05:20
@pzmyers: @MockTM @drskyskull Because there are no significant moments. You’re cheap. A cheapie.
2012-08-31 02:05:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “That’s it, I’m breaking up with you now that I know that I don’t charge enough, but you’re still trying to steal sex from others.”
2012-08-31 02:05:59
@drskyskull: @MockTM Um, dude, if you keep telling women to “beat it”, that’s all you’re gonna be doing, dig?
2012-08-31 02:06:02
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm I wish I had a pool that played music whenever I went swimming.
2012-08-31 02:06:06
@CA7746: @MockTM Say, you look thirsty…
2012-08-31 02:06:50
@szvan: @MockTM “Why didn’t you tell anyone he was after you, Joanna?” “Well, you know how well you always listened to me.”
2012-08-31 02:06:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Tee hee! Let’s screw in the water supply!”
2012-08-31 02:07:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Finally someone dies, and it happens off-camera.
2012-08-31 02:07:35
@pzmyers: @MockTM “Tee hee! Let’s drown you in the water supply!”
2012-08-31 02:07:45
@drskyskull: @MockTM He’s gonna drown her? Hey, I’m starting to not like this character!
2012-08-31 02:07:47
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Boy, that escalated quickly.
2012-08-31 02:07:55
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm A real man would have an assault rifle
2012-08-31 02:08:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, he’s gone from “if other elements don’t tear us apart” to “go kill that dude will ya” awfully quickly.
2012-08-31 02:08:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Drink and dancing are bad, but shooting a man to death? I kind of like that idea.”
2012-08-31 02:09:16
@elronxenu: @MockTM How many guns do they have, anyway?
2012-08-31 02:09:19
@DrRubidium: @MockTM anybody doing the math on the live rounds in old man’s gun?
2012-08-31 02:09:34
@szvan: @MockTM “Oh, I’m sneaky, I am. I think I’ll just sing a song that telegraphs my final plans.”
2012-08-31 02:09:58
@pzmyers: @MockTM Old Man wanted Steve to kill rapey dude, why can’t he do it himself?
2012-08-31 02:10:03
@ColOfNature: @blakestacey @MockTM RNC
2012-08-31 02:10:14
@brx0: @MockTM These people are all skeevy.
2012-08-31 02:10:44
@pzmyers: @MockTM Less than 10 minutes to go. DEAR GOD, MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.
2012-08-31 02:10:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah, singing a song about picking off all the little Indians one at a time… Wait, did I switch channels to the RNC? Dammit.
2012-08-31 02:11:03
@szvan: @pzmyers @MockTM It’s like transferring a deed, you see.
2012-08-31 02:11:05
@drskyskull: @MockTM @elronxenu Well, they *could* have had 3 years of food stockpiled for all of them but, ya know, guns.
2012-08-31 02:11:06
@blakestacey: @MockTM Is that her telepathic communion face? I can’t tell anymore.
2012-08-31 02:11:27
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm Who’s the leader of them all that’s made for you and me? M. I. C. K. E. Y. L.O.U.S.E.
2012-08-31 02:11:55
@pzmyers: @MockTM Are we just supposed to assume theramin = telepathy?
2012-08-31 02:11:57
@szvan: @MockTM “Why did you decide to go outside into the danger, Joanna?” “Well, you see here in the script?”
2012-08-31 02:12:16
@drskyskull: @MockTM Apparently a doddering Clint Eastwood is rambling on at the #RNC. We’re getting the same thing with old man here.
2012-08-31 02:12:27
@brx0: @MockTM …meanwhile our heroine hears cray-cray music & wanders off to join the civilized world (ie the mutants)…
2012-08-31 02:12:36
@ColOfNature: @MockTM is she sleepwalking? Is that what they came up with?
2012-08-31 02:12:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oooh, are we finally at the climax of the movie, with all the theremin music and the inexplicable sleepwalking?
2012-08-31 02:12:45
@elronxenu: @MockTM This is gonna end like Demon Seed, innit?
2012-08-31 02:12:53
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, now I get it! Joanna is the only one of them that isn’t so completely self-absorbed as to be immune to telepathy!
2012-08-31 02:12:59
@SpokesGay: @lousycanuck @MockTM I really must get in on the next one of these.
2012-08-31 02:13:10
@rvitelli: @drskyskull @MockTM @elronxenu The fact that most of them there were uninvited freeloaders doesn’t seem to have made a difference.
2012-08-31 02:13:17
@drskyskull: @MockTM At this stage, I’m absolutely convinced that the mutant is *rescuing* her.
2012-08-31 02:13:27
@pzmyers: @MockTM Mutant staggers off with Joanna. OK, it’s something kinda wimpy, but something happened.
2012-08-31 02:13:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @szvan Yes, it turns out to receive telepathy, you have to have empathy.
2012-08-31 02:13:46
@pzmyers: @MockTM “If there’s no other way, use that Luger on Joanna” — what happened to repopulating?
2012-08-31 02:14:10
@ColOfNature: @MockTM oh, it was mind control. Obviously. Theremin.
2012-08-31 02:14:20
@brx0: @MockTM She fainted! Captured by the monster! Drink!
2012-08-31 02:14:28
@szvan: @MockTM “There’s just one gun!” Except for the one you showed up with, sure.
2012-08-31 02:14:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM I think the biggest problem with this movie is that the “hero” of it has spent 80% of the movie in bed.
2012-08-31 02:14:56
@brx0: @MockTM Now she’s being hauled off to the Black Lagoon, I mean the Empire State Building, I mean…
2012-08-31 02:15:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “There’s just one gun! I went and ate the other one earlier, off-camera.”
2012-08-31 02:15:06
@lousycanuck: @drskyskull @MockTM In some movies that would be a BONUS.
2012-08-31 02:15:28
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie is really not selling the year 2889
2012-08-31 02:15:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM the rain’s definitely the most sympathetic character so far
2012-08-31 02:15:58
@pzmyers: @MockTM “Still think that rain will kill us all?” I can dream.
2012-08-31 02:16:09
@ColOfNature: @brx0 @MockTM There’s a drinking game? I didn’t know 🙁 What a wasted opportunity.
2012-08-31 02:16:11
@brx0: @MockTM I bet Hipster Elvis has the gun that isn’t loaded. Just a suspicion, based on all those other movies.
2012-08-31 02:16:17
@elronxenu: @MockTM Marty! Marty! Where is that boy?
2012-08-31 02:16:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Waaaait… why’d the mutant just put her down and wander away? Yeah, he’s rescuing her…
2012-08-31 02:16:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM Pretty sure this mutant taught one of my introductory undergraduate physics courses. #resemblance
2012-08-31 02:16:54
@szvan: @ColOfNature @brx0 @MockTM It’s not a game. It’s a necessity.
2012-08-31 02:16:55
@pzmyers: @MockTM From behind, the mutant looks like AC Grayling.
2012-08-31 02:17:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “The water! He’s afraid of the water!” “Well that’s just because of all the radiation that’s in it!”
2012-08-31 02:17:06
@lousycanuck: @pzmyers @MockTM Ohhh, that’s harsh.
2012-08-31 02:17:24
@brx0: @MockTM That was an easy escape. I thought the latex mask dudes had uncanny powers or something.
2012-08-31 02:17:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Our problem is solved — we’ll become MERMAIDS!” #SteveToo
2012-08-31 02:17:34
@PeterDolan9: @MockTM Pure Rainwater
2012-08-31 02:17:43
@CA7746: @MockTM Oops, that was a urine sample.
2012-08-31 02:17:57
@pzmyers: @MockTM ANother gun?
2012-08-31 02:18:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Hey, there’s water in this water.”
2012-08-31 02:18:11
@DrRubidium: @MockTM so now we know where M.Night Shyamalan got all his ideas
2012-08-31 02:18:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “That’s it! Water! It’s afraid of water!” Paging M. Night Shyamalan.
2012-08-31 02:18:20
@ColOfNature: @MockTM M Night Shayamalan: the gig is up.
2012-08-31 02:18:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Joanna and Steve might be safe!” Thank goodness interesting events averted!
2012-08-31 02:18:55
@pzmyers: @MockTM It rains. Hapless, ineffectual monster dies. Bleh.
2012-08-31 02:19:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It tried to speak to me. It said… ‘I am… and always will be… your friend.’ ”
2012-08-31 02:19:33
@CA7746: @MockTM Cue abrupt ending…
2012-08-31 02:19:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that was the WORST type of bad sci-fi/horror flick. One with a low body count. BOO
2012-08-31 02:20:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM So even the MONSTER wasn’t a monster.
2012-08-31 02:20:05
@PeterDolan9: @mocktm It WAS the apocolypse
2012-08-31 02:20:14
@szvan: @MockTM MOAR DEATH!!!!!1!!!1!
2012-08-31 02:20:15
@pzmyers: @MockTM AAAAIEEE! “An error occurred. Please try again later.” Curse you, youtube.
2012-08-31 02:20:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, what an ending. “The Beginning.” The END happens fifteen mins later when it rains radioactive death and they all die screaming.
2012-08-31 02:20:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM Well that was abrupt
2012-08-31 02:20:33
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’m not sure if they intended to end the movie that way or just ran out of film.
2012-08-31 02:20:44
@elronxenu: @MockTM Oh, the humanity!
2012-08-31 02:20:53
@pzmyers: @MockTM Now I’ll never see the dramatic plot twist that salvages the whole movie.
2012-08-31 02:20:54
@pzmyers: @MockTM there was one, right? You can tell me.
2012-08-31 02:21:11
@PeterDolan9: @mockTM have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol?
2012-08-31 02:21:13
@brx0: @MockTM So the climax was a magic mutant-killing rainstorm. This would have been a really short movie here in Oregon.
2012-08-31 02:21:16
@DrRubidium: @pzmyers @MockTM hahahahahahahahaha!
2012-08-31 02:21:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, body count: 1 mutated by the wrenches which somehow spared his brother,
2012-08-31 02:21:23
@lousycanuck: @elronxenu @MockTM WHAT humanity? The mutant was the closest thing shown to that.
2012-08-31 02:21:26
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, that was abrupt.
2012-08-31 02:21:31
@ColOfNature: @MockTM And they all lived happily ever after.
2012-08-31 02:21:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM 1 killed by death fog of doom
2012-08-31 02:21:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’m just going to pretend that Joanna and Steve get crushed by a meteorite right after the movie ends.
2012-08-31 02:21:42
@blakestacey: @MockTM 1 drowned by being held under water for 22 seconds
2012-08-31 02:21:56
@lousycanuck: @PeterDolan9 @MockTM The mutants were just worried about the integrity of their precious bodily fluids.
2012-08-31 02:22:08
@szvan: @pzmyers @MockTM Yes, yes. The happy ending we’re all referring to was mass, bloody, prolonged death.
2012-08-31 02:22:15
@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM Actually THE END happens when inbreeding wipes them out within four generations.
2012-08-31 02:22:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM and 1 shot by a crotchety old man who hates dancing but likes making his daughter a baby machine
2012-08-31 02:22:44
@elronxenu: @lousycanuck @elronxenu @MockTM That’s why I weep, man!
2012-08-31 02:22:53
@DrRubidium: It seems Clint Eastwood’s #RNC2012 speech involved the Invisible Man. This makes it scarier than this week’s @MockTM
2012-08-31 02:22:58
@pzmyers: @MockTM There was no cannibalism and no telepathy, unless it happened in the last 40 seconds that I missed.
2012-08-31 02:23:01
@elronxenu: @MockTM I wonder if Michael Creighton saw this movie.
2012-08-31 02:23:23
@PeterDolan9: @lousycanuck @MockTM I think the mutants were really communists
2012-08-31 02:23:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s like they took a psychological drama and a monster movie and rolled them together and took out ALL THE INTERESTING BITS.
2012-08-31 02:23:37
@drskyskull: @MockTM Switched over to the RNC. Way more mutants.
2012-08-31 02:23:59
@pzmyers: @MockTM The Hercules movie scheduled next better be more interesting than this one.
2012-08-31 02:24:18
@szvan: @MockTM I have no idea why they put this on Archive and YouTube instead of jealously protecting their intellectual property.
2012-08-31 02:24:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM @pzmyers Oh, you TOTALLY missed it! It was like the ending of “Reservoir Dogs”! But, ya know, with mutants.
2012-08-31 02:24:56
@PeterDolan9: @pzmyers @MockTM hunh… couldn’t you hear the mutants? They were clamoring throughout the entire movie.
2012-08-31 02:25:24
@ColOfNature: @MockTM Same time next week then folks? I’ll bring popcorn this time. And whisky.
2012-08-31 02:25:49
@rvitelli: @pzmyers @MockTM Not to worry. Lou Ferrigno’s pecs have had classical acting training.
2012-08-31 02:26:14
@pzmyers: Better bring a lot of whisky. @MockTM @ColOfNature: Same time next week then folks? I’ll bring popcorn this time. And whisky.
2012-08-31 02:27:09

Mock The Movie: In The Year 2889 transcript (and subtitles file!)