Catholic disinformation site shows how to use condoms

Via Christian Nightmares (in turn via Friendly Atheist), there’s apparently a Catholic site touting itself as the “revolution against contraception in marriage”. And they’ve built a great little infographic explaining how to properly use a condom.

Just look at this twee motherfucker. You KNOW you want to click Read More.

Water balloons. Slick, spermicide-and-lubricant-covered water balloons. Ha ha ha ha STDS AND TEEN PREGNANCY.

Mind you, they already have that covered — by salting the earth and claiming that condoms CAN’T be proven to prevent STDs, via a shitload of sophistry-by-numbers arguments. And they link to a study from 2008 showing 1 in 4 teens have STDs, as though that means that they have STDs DESPITE using condoms — something that is almost certainly not the case and definitely not in evidence.

This is what happens when you mix procreative theology, sex shame, and the fear that improved sex education might actually prevent pregnancies (which form more babbys, ripe for religious conversion) and STDs (which are God’s punishment for enjoying doing the nasty).

Catholic disinformation site shows how to use condoms

9 thoughts on “Catholic disinformation site shows how to use condoms

  1. 2

    I think I need a ruling on whether this is a parody site or not.

    I clicked around at random looking for evidence one way or the other. A lot of the site seems sincere, but then there are bits like this:

    A major cause of female infertility is zinc deficiency. A man’s semen supplies this vital nutrient to his wife, as well as ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, fructose, glutathione, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorous, potassium, sodium, sorbitol, and vitamin B12 — all important to a woman’s reproductive health.

  2. 3

    That’s Poe’s Law for you. My guess is that it’s legit. My personal tell is the wares section: the messages are putting forward things designed to appeal to the target audience, and these definitely read more as propaganda than parody.

    The “sperm is a dick-dispensed multivitamin” bit I’m attributing to crank magnetism. It’s a pretty clear tell of pseudoscience, when any position, no matter how loopy, is used to defend the central belief.

  3. 5

    Looking at the graphics and presentation, what age demographic is this being aimed at? I can’t imagine anyone over the age of say, 13 not feeling a little patronized to be lectured using these ridiculously childish cartoon characters and desperate attempts to appear ‘with it.’ I don’t suspect any married couple using contraception is going to be somehow persuaded against doing it by a website this ridiculous.

    Desperation like this is an encouraging sign, it means that people are, by and large, rejecting the ‘religious’ view of marriage and sex and that those who want to promote it have to hire what must be some of the worst ad consultants out there.

    On the sperm is a nutrition supplement – I don’t think you can ingest those nutrients through that orifice, and I sincerely doubt that sperm has any more than trace amounts of most of those.

  4. 7

    Looking at the graphics and presentation, what age demographic is this being aimed at?

    deviantArt? I’m guessing it’s the personal style of the site’s proprietor.

    In a related note, I’ve been giggling over the “Noor Kids” ads here on FTB, wondering if they’re more likely to convert children to Islam, or convert Muslim children to the furry fandom.

  5. 8

    I’d extend Poe’s law another step: Catholic sex ed is burlesque. That’s “burlesque” in the original sense: it’s funny because it is its own parody. Can anyone who takes transsubstantiation seriously be taken any more seriously than an astrologer or a homeopath?

  6. 9

    Yes, we did that with condoms, too.
    We were twelve, they were handed out after our sex-ed class and, well we didn’t have anything better to do with them (I think it was better than keeping them in our wallets until we needed them)

    BTW, Jason, drove past Saint Thibeault on the way to our holidays.

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