CONvergence: Rebecca Watson ruins everything

I noticed something shortly after the very well-received Don’t Feed the Trolls panel at CONvergence’s SkepchickCON, once ZOMGItsCriss posted the video. People who otherwise have never seen the level of anti-Watson hatred that her mere existence incurs, were surprised and angered by the fact that the comments on Criss’ video largely ignored the fact that there were five other panelists present. As such, Watson only comprised a smallish fraction of the discussion — and yet, some folks’ comments ran along the line of “why would I listen to That Skepchick bitch whine hysterically about nothing for an hour? She should get raped so she loosens up, the prude whore.” (This is, of course, a composite of real comments on that video. Edit: For skeptics of this exceptional claim, like “…” in the comments, click this to see a Youtube comment that’s very, VERY similar.)

That sort of shit was exactly our point, and it appears to have catalyzed at least one bystander to radicalize against that sort of trolling.

The last night I spent in Minneapolis, Skepchick Kammy held a barbecue at her place for the participants of the SkepchickCON track. At one point, Kammy’s son pressganged his parents into moving the attendees into their driveway so they could set off the remainder of the fireworks (left over from the celebration a few days prior, when Minnesotans celebrate Three Days After Canada Day in a sweet, but odd, gesture to your neighbors to the north). We pulled our chairs out from their back yard and set them up to watch the firework display, and I found myself setting my chair up near enough to Watson to pronounce loudly:

“Well, I was really looking forward to seeing this firework display, but now that I’m stuck here next to Rebecca Watson, it’s just ruined for me. I mean, who wants to listen to her sit quietly for an hour?”

She made a pouty face and picked up her chair and shrank back into the background, behind some low branches of a nearby tree. “Nope, still ruined.”

Conversation quickly turned to other things she ruined, like that time she blew up the natives’ tree of life to get at the Unobtanium under it. Which you have to admit was a kinda douchy move on her part.

“Or you remember that time that she was on a rope bridge and pulled the heart right out of that guy’s chest and ate it? ‘Kali mas!'”, offered one anonymous participant whose initials are RW.

So what other experiences do you folks have with Rebecca Watson ruining things?

(Side bets on how long ’til trolls appear?)

CONvergence: Rebecca Watson ruins everything
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508 thoughts on “CONvergence: Rebecca Watson ruins everything

  1. 451

    Rebecca Watson killed Newt and Hicks.

    Rebecca Watson is responsible for the heartbreak of psoriasis.

    Rebecca Watson is the Catalyst/created the Reapers/flibberty flooberty Space Magic!

    What would Rebecca Watson do? Horrible, horrible things.

  2. 452

    Forgot some:

    Rebecca Watson built the house on Ash Tree Lane.

    Rebecca Watson put cyanide in the Tylenol.

    Rebecca Watson wants your skull. Rebecca Watson needs your skull.

    Rebecca Watson did that thing to Donna Noble that makes me cry when I think about it. Do you hear me, Rebecca Watson? You made me cry!

    Rebecca Watson wrote that LMFAO song. You know the one.

  3. 453

    Rebecca Watson is the cause of Colony Collapse Disorder. She suggested that honeybees obtain consent in a non-creepy way. They’re so confused by the idea, they can no longer mate.

  4. 454

    Rebecca Watson caused that grounder to go through Bill Buckner’s legs.

    Rebecca Watson doesn’t want your pets to get spayed or neutered.

    Has anyone ever seen Rebecca Watson and Joseph Stalin in the same place at the same time?

    Rebecca Watson is a Yankees fan.

    Has anyone ever seen Rebecca Watson and Milli Vanilli in the same place at the same time?

    Rebecca Watson told Kevin Costner that Waterworld was a good idea.

  5. 457

    Rebecca Watson personally drove the Parrot Sketch and the Lumberjack Song into the ground, eventually forcing the Pythons to perform perfunctory and stilted renditions completely drained of originality and spontaneity.

  6. 465

    @463, according to urban dictionary, “ate my balls” started with Mr. T.

    and here’s a salon article

    and now, back to you regularly scheduled Rebecca Watson.

    Rebecca Watson made Spielberg quit Freakazoid.
    Rebecca Watson created season 3 of Gargoyles.
    Rebecca Watson coached Bale’s Batman voice.
    Rebecca Watson said my cat couldn’t haz cheeseburger.
    Rebecca Watson gave two girls a cup and a video camera.

  7. F

    This is what I have found out:
    You know that old lady who swallowed a fly? And we don’t know why she swallowed the fly?

    Rebecca Watson, that’s why.

  8. 471

    Reading all the funny comments on this post has really cut into my Diablo 3 time, and now I might now even be able to play before dinner…

    Damn you, Rebecca!!!

  9. rq

    Rebecca Watson pushed Jack and Jill down the hill and Humpty-Dumpty off the wall. Then she set fire to the ladybug’s house. She also baked four-and-twenty blackbirds into a pie, but they magically survived. As consolation to herself, she dressed up as a giant spider and went to see what Miss Muffett was doing. On her way, she put the baby, cradle and all, on the treetop.

  10. 475

    Or that time when she returned from the Underverse and started forcing everyone to convert or die.

    I thought she was only responsible for the Art-Deco hovering buses. Now you tell me she’s also responsible for the interstellar planet-killing golf-tees? Who wants to listen to her destroy worlds for an hour?

  11. 476

    This is, of course, a composite of real comments on that video.

    Or, to phrase it another way, something made up out of thin air.

    And so the adoration of the Sarah Palin of skepticism continues…

  12. 478

    I didn’t have any takers on the side bet, but honestly, I would have gone all in on “between comments 1 and 10” so I would have failed miserably. Oh well! Your loss!

    Elipsis, since you refused to actually explain how you were contributing to the last conversation you were involved in derailing, and since you contribute nothing but hatred of all things Watson for no apparent reason, you’re in moderation. Answer my charge at the linked post if you want to prove you’re actually interested in discussing things instead of just adding to the background radiation of hatred that Watson already experiences.

    I’m sure our discussions about tangential matters will sorely lack in your expressed hatred and that you’ll claim censorship or groupthink or some other contrafactual nonsense. But don’t worry, there will be no shortage of hatred expressed about Watson in your absence here. Since every component of the composite I wrote above is actually very easily findable on any Youtube video containing even the words “Rebecca” and “Watson”, even if she’s not on the video itself, don’t worry. People will know you and others really, really hate her.

    (TL;DR: Rebecca Watson made me put you in moderation using her mind-control powers.)

  13. 480

    Well, I’ve long learned that facts or reason are not wholly welcome here, so why should I supply them? But to answer to your question – fascinating thing, question about driving the conversation forward; to where, exactly? – I am eager to know why this nonentity continues to command such an audience. The phenomenon has the same grotesque fascination as Sarah Palin does. Just how do we get to a point of such decay that someone like that can be voted “most influential atheist” ahead of Ayaan Hirsi Ali? Maybe it’s something in the middle class American mindset, I don’t know.

    Enfin. This festival of self-pity has been going on for a year, during which any attempt to address the real oppression of women elsewhere has ranged from the slim to the nonexistent. To take an example from today, you can see Taslima Nasrin’s put up truly horrendous examples of the crime of acid-throwing. I guarantee you that this will attract less attention, and be quickly forgotten in the endless parade of the self-pity of the privileged.

    I’ve had sharp disagreements with Maryam Namazie, but she’s a real fighter with real guts, and it has not escaped my notice that her work on actual oppression receives less than a hundredth of the attention that the drone does.

  14. 481

    Shorter Elipsis: “You can’t talk about anything unless you’re talking about the worst things.”

    The obvious counter to this is, why the hell are you complaining about people you perceive to have poor priorities when there are people throwing acid at women? Go do something about that!

  15. 483

    1975. Amity Island. They said it was a great white shark. But we know the truth.


  16. 484

    Coincidentally enough, Watson posted a wrap-up of SkepchickCON that included a screenshot of a Youtube comment that sounds almost identical to what I’d created as a composite of other comments I’ve seen elsewhere. You know, for those people who are skeptical of the extraordinary claim that people say shit like that to her.

    Of course, I bet Rebecca Watson made that commenter say that to prove me right.

  17. 485

    Rebecca Watson:
    – made the bowl of petunias fall from the sky.
    – ate the red ones first.
    – ‘s gravitational pull is drawing Planet X into earth to kill us all.
    – forced the Keebler elves to live in appalling sweatshop conditions within the tree to make her cookies.
    – made Troy bring in that awful wooden horse.
    – enabled Tim Burton to make more movies.
    – Programmed the Mars rover to crash.
    – made the Westboro Baptist Church’s protest signs.
    – canceled Firefly (yes this has been stated but needed to be said again).
    – created Mosquitoes, ticks and leeches.
    – made my coffee too hot and I burned my tongue.
    – burned down the great library in Alexandria.
    – sunk Atlantis.
    and finally
    – made men reflect on their actions.

    Just Kidding! Rebecca, if you read this, hang in there and ignore the trolls.

  18. 488

    – made men reflect on their actions.

    Let us not forget that this, after all, is her real crime.

    How DARE a woman gently chastise men on their actions and make them THINK about them?

  19. 492

    I am eager to know why this nonentity continues to command such an audience.

    Well, you’re part of that audience, so maybe you should ask YOURSELF why you’re wasting so much time bitching about how she isn’t worth your time. You do realize you’re not being forced to read one FTB and not another, right?

  20. 493

    You know when Kirk shouted “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”?


    But Rebecca Watson made him change it.

  21. 494

    Rebecca Watson once asked me for coffee, I knew what she was up to so I punched her in the face and ran away. You know how threatening it is when you are cornered behind a counter and someone asks you coffee, who cares that it is morning and in a coffeeshop, it was creepy.

  22. 500

    Last night I couldn’t get to sleep because more memories of RW’s evil doings just kept coming to me.

    Rebecca Watson made Mil and Margret have an argument.

    Rebecca Watson made Alexander have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

    Rebecca Watson completed everything on the Evil Overlord list.

    Rebecca Watson taught Perf the milk spell.

    Rebecca Watson turned Carrow into a theoretically impossible form of undead: an intelligent corporeal.

    Rebecca Watson killed James and Lily Potter.

    Rebecca Watson told Barbie that math is hard.

    Rebecca Watson gave Louis the choise that she…never…had.

    Rebecca Watson told Han the odds.

    Rebecca Watson blew up the Watchers Council headquarters.

    Rebecca Watson told George W. Bush that “misunderestimate” is a word.

    Rebecca Watson suggested implementing the TSA as a joke, but Congress took her seriously.

    Rebecca Watson poked out my inner eye.

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