Ace was my favourite assistant, although I was only nine when she appeared in Doctor Who, so I didn’t have a huge frame of reference.

I wore my hair like Ace, and desperately wanted a bomber jacket. I had a massive crush on. her.

My partner’s six year’s older than me, and she’d had a thing for Peri. You can imagine how chuffed we were to meet Nicola and Sophie last year.

They’re both lovely, Sophie did her talk and signings despite having a terrible cold. Nicola is so tiny, and probably looks younger than me or my girlfriend! That’s artron energy for ya.

My nine year old self, raised by evangelicals (and therefore deeply unhappy) and generally having a shit life, would have died of ecstatic screaming at the thought of meeting Colin and the ladies on the same day.

That sad kid hung on, came out, met the geeky love of her life, threw off those damned Jesusy shackles, and lives the dream.

Sure, I’ve got problems and restrictions of the kind that come up in pub debates like “If X happened to you would you kill yourself?”. but I don’t have fucking religion telling me it’s my fault/it’s just a test, not anymore. So it’s totally worth it.

aluminum baseball bat

“Who are you calling small?”