Mock The Movie transcript: Laser Mission

For your reading pleasure, below the fold is the transcript for last night’s Mock The Movie. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, the download link’s in yesterday’s post, go grab it then come back here to read along as you watch. We start at 2:00:00 UMT, timestamps are below each line.

@DrRubidium: Awful movie + awesome snark = hilarious! It’s ~45 minutes until @MockTM
2012-01-13 01:14:18
@blakestacey: Downloading LASER MISSION for @MockTM later tonight!
2012-01-13 01:20:04
@theJAYFK: 15 min until @MockTM It’s got frickin’ LASERS! Diamond LASERS!
2012-01-13 01:45:36
@lousycanuck: Lasers that make NUCULAR WEAPONS. RT @theJAYFK 15 min until @MockTM It’s got frickin’ LASERS! Diamond LASERS!
2012-01-13 01:46:31
@LarryMathys: @lousycanuck @theJAYFK @MockTM are they attached to fricken heads of fricken sharks?
2012-01-13 01:53:22
@DrRubidium: @MockTM it’s go time!
2012-01-13 01:59:40
@drskyskull: @mocktm Starting “Laser Mission” in 30 secs. Heaven help me…
2012-01-13 01:59:54

@lousycanuck: @MockTM And we have title sequence. PEW PEW PEW
2012-01-13 02:00:33
@DrRubidium: @MockTM is this the worst theme song ever? It must be.
2012-01-13 02:00:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM OK, let’s get this out of the way: “Laser Misson? But I hardly know ‘er mission!”
2012-01-13 02:00:42
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, remember when laser effect were new and fresh? *nostalgia*
2012-01-13 02:00:57
@drskyskull: @mocktm So, the title is “Laser Mission”, and 2 secs later we’re seeing images of gunfire? #notagoodsign
2012-01-13 02:01:07
@DrRubidium: @MockTM what’s up with the armed guards? What the hell kinda party is this?
2012-01-13 02:01:36
@drskyskull: @mocktm Producer Hans Kuhle “Senior”. Thank goodness — junior *sucks* at filmmaking!
2012-01-13 02:01:59
@brx0: Anybody doing @MockTM tonight?
2012-01-13 02:02:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM Uh-oh, looks like this movie was a family operation.
2012-01-13 02:02:09
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, yeah. 80s skinny tuxes.
2012-01-13 02:02:14
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this is the WORST fake British accent since Mary Poppins
2012-01-13 02:02:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Tonight is a special occasion for we, a select few, have the privilege of mocking the hell out of an 80s movie.
2012-01-13 02:02:19
@DrRubidium: @MockTM why the hell is the diamond glowing? Ohhhh….. is it cursed? You know, like this movie?
2012-01-13 02:02:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM Rock out to the sub-Foreigner theme song!
2012-01-13 02:02:57
@brx0: @MockTM Ok, now playing…
2012-01-13 02:03:02
@szvan: @MockTM I’ve never had champagne quite that bad. Just close.
2012-01-13 02:03:06
@drskyskull: @mocktm Oh, shit — the smoke monster from “Lost” is stealing the diamond!!!
2012-01-13 02:03:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Larger than the Hope! More brilliant than the one that guy found in BLOOD DIAMOND!”
2012-01-13 02:03:25
@brx0: @MockTM I hate to admit this, but I do actually own this movie on DVD. It came in a big box set of B movies.
2012-01-13 02:03:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM What was the point of firing a shotgun blast randomly and indiscriminately into a crowd of sleeping patrons? Overkill, of course!
2012-01-13 02:03:42
@drskyskull: @mocktm I love these kind of HARD ROCKIN’ CUSTOMS SCENES!!!
2012-01-13 02:04:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM this is what you’d get if the crew of the original Star Trek beamed down to a Miami Vice planet.
2012-01-13 02:04:38
@brx0: @MockTM LIke all classic action movies, we begin with unsympathetic rich twits in an art gallery…
2012-01-13 02:04:43
@DrRubidium: @MockTM is that a leather trench coat? REALLY? Sweet mother
2012-01-13 02:04:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What kind of business do you do?” “People management and general ass-kickery.”
2012-01-13 02:04:55
@blakestacey: @MockTM Buzzword-intensive management consulting is a dangerous job?
2012-01-13 02:05:29
@brx0: @MockTM Maybe it’s because of how 2011 went, but I’m pretty certain that the gassing scene was unrealistic.
2012-01-13 02:05:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Nice beach. Now if only I could find a poofy-haired blonde lady somewhere around here, we could get this movie started.”
2012-01-13 02:05:43
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @MockTM Ha ha!
2012-01-13 02:05:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wow, he’s taking a long walk back from a short pier!
2012-01-13 02:05:58
@brx0: @MockTM Cuba has a cool Art Deco airport, apparently.
2012-01-13 02:06:19
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I’m more Cuban than Ernest Borgnine
2012-01-13 02:06:50
@drskyskull: @mocktm Ernest Borgnine is either playing a Russian or is doing the worst Count Dracula impersonation ever.
2012-01-13 02:07:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You’re fond of birds?” “Yes, I find albatross is delicious!”
2012-01-13 02:07:09
@brx0: @MockTM Brandon Lee lays on the ham and he isn’t even through customs yet.
2012-01-13 02:07:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It will be all here!” *points to groin*
2012-01-13 02:07:40
@szvan: @MockTM And I thought Ernest Borgnine’s eyebrows were distracting.
2012-01-13 02:07:46
@brx0: @MockTM And a Cuban cigar joke for viewers slow on the uptake. Which is probably most of them.
2012-01-13 02:07:59
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Holy fuck! Jason Lee is the WORST spy ever
2012-01-13 02:08:00
@drskyskull: @mocktm “Are you acquainted with theoretical physics?” Ernest, I’ve tried that pickup line; it never works.
2012-01-13 02:08:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM He’s afraid that Star Wars will destroy the world? His brain must have the secrets of the prequels!
2012-01-13 02:08:05
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @drskyskull No worse than my own, honestly.
2012-01-13 02:08:08
@brx0: @MockTM Ernest Borgnine doing his best Old Man and the Sea act.
2012-01-13 02:08:40
@DrRubidium: @MockTM um, what with all the Russian soldiers? We are in Cuba, right? Where is Fidel?!
2012-01-13 02:08:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You look a little nauseous.” “No I’m fi– HOLY CRAP YOU’RE M BISON!”
2012-01-13 02:08:57
@szvan: @MockTM So, since the movie is set in a communist country, we get eastern European horror movie music cues?
2012-01-13 02:09:04
@blakestacey: @MockTM “In America, you can have a ticket to ride!” “And she won’t care?”
2012-01-13 02:09:09
@drskyskull: @mocktm “Sorry, Mr. Gold, your acting was deemed a crime against humanity.”
2012-01-13 02:09:12
@brx0: @MockTM And Brandon Lee looks like Dean Cain morphed with Harry Potter. Must be the glasses.
2012-01-13 02:09:27
@brx0: @MockTM Oh, this dialogue. I weep.
2012-01-13 02:10:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I work for money.” “Haha! In a socialist state!” “No, I mean I take orders from the guy on the money. He talks to me.”
2012-01-13 02:10:23
@szvan: @MockTM “Hey, as long as we’re filming in an historical reconstruction village, let’s write in this guillotine they just happen to have!”
2012-01-13 02:10:46
@DrRubidium: @MockTM HOLY FUCK! The Cuban accent was even WORSE than the British one
2012-01-13 02:10:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What did you do with the professor?” “You should only be worried about what they did with Gilligan.”
2012-01-13 02:10:55
@brx0: @MockTM We’re still in Cuba, right? Why does everyone speak English with an Eastern European accent?
2012-01-13 02:11:06
@blakestacey: @MockTM “What’d you do to the professor?” “He is now, as you say…emeritus.”
2012-01-13 02:11:24
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Those Russians are running a pretty bullshit Cuban prison
2012-01-13 02:11:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ha ha, a knife in the chest! That’ll learn ya for waiting fifteen seconds to shoot me after walking around the corner!
2012-01-13 02:11:44
@drskyskull: @mocktm The action scenes in “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” were more exciting.
2012-01-13 02:11:51
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Fight scene theme by CASIO demo button!”
2012-01-13 02:12:04
@brx0: @MockTM I feel for the Rooskie guy, and all the other niche character actors whose B movie careers ended with the Soviet Union.
2012-01-13 02:12:19
@brx0: @MockTM Aaand they have a guillotine? We’re in Soviet France?
2012-01-13 02:12:44
@szvan: @MockTM Damn. He’s so good, he mows down people without ever pointing the gun in their direction!
2012-01-13 02:12:46
@drskyskull: @mocktm Russian soldier: “Hey, guys — I just realized — *bullets* come out of these gun things we have!”
2012-01-13 02:12:50
@DrRubidium: @MockTM um…there is no US embassy there…’cause it’s Cuba
2012-01-13 02:12:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Yesterday in Havana, a bloodless rampage claimed the lives of eight stuntmen.”
2012-01-13 02:12:58
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Holy crap, a US embassy in Cuba? Right!
2012-01-13 02:13:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Officers report an escaped convict open fire with a range of sound effects.”
2012-01-13 02:13:35
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Kiss my ass.” “NO!” “Yes.” “NO!”
2012-01-13 02:13:37
@blakestacey: @MockTM “What didn’t you do wrong?” “I didn’t take money from Goldman Sachs.”
2012-01-13 02:14:02
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I’m confused? Where the fuck are we? Cuba, somewhere in Africa? Wait, it’s a made up country?
2012-01-13 02:14:05
@drskyskull: @mocktm Am I the only one who hears Doctor Evil every time someone says, “Laaaazzzzer”?
2012-01-13 02:14:12
@brx0: @MockTM That looks like the same corridor again. I call shenanigans.
2012-01-13 02:14:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You didn’t tell me who he was!” “We expected you to know how to Google.”
2012-01-13 02:14:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM @DrRubidium We’re filming in Lowbudgetstan.
2012-01-13 02:14:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @brx0 Next scene will be the same room without the American flags.
2012-01-13 02:14:41
@drskyskull: @MockTM G. Gordon Liddy and Bob Newhart are really giving him hell.
2012-01-13 02:15:17
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Christ. This dialogue is THE WORST.
2012-01-13 02:15:22
@brx0: @MockTM What a quick cutaway from the guillotine bit. Didn’t really want to see it, but I still feel cheated somehow.
2012-01-13 02:15:28
@szvan: @MockTM “I’ll do it, but not for you, and not for the money. I’ll do it because your cameraman really likes my cheekbones.”
2012-01-13 02:15:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You’re only in it for the money!” “No, not this time. This time I’ll take a post-dated cheque.”
2012-01-13 02:15:44
@DrRubidium: LMFAO! RT @MockTM @DrRubidium We’re filming in Lowbudgetstan.
2012-01-13 02:16:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM “The perfect disguise, now I’m *senor* Brandon Lee!”
2012-01-13 02:16:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Hey wait, who’s this new character with the pencil moustache? Oh wait, right, he’s the main character. What a master of disguise!
2012-01-13 02:16:39
@brx0: @MockTM So where’s this “Kovango” place? I thought they were in Cuba? This is so complicated.
2012-01-13 02:16:42
@szvan: @MockTM Yeah, dude. That fake mustache totally makes you look like some *completely different* entitled preppy shit.
2012-01-13 02:16:47
@drskyskull: @MockTM Hey, I think they stole one of my old skydiving videos to make this movie!
2012-01-13 02:16:59
@drskyskull: @szvan @MockTM Nice! 🙂
2012-01-13 02:17:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Bonjour. I am also uno communisto.”
2012-01-13 02:17:53
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What did ouu jus see?” “Uh… why you speak English, el capitan?”
2012-01-13 02:18:03
@drskyskull: @MockTM *slap slap slap* Hmm… I thought Brandon Lee’s martial arts skills were better than that.
2012-01-13 02:18:06
@DrRubidium: @MockTM OK, I’m really hoping that they all get killed as soon as possible
2012-01-13 02:18:06
@brx0: @MockTM What committee wrote this dialogue? So, so painful.
2012-01-13 02:18:30
@DrRubidium: @MockTM That Cuban accent sounding remarkably like a German accent
2012-01-13 02:18:41
@drskyskull: @MockTM @brx0 The plot is like a Phillip K. Dick novel, isn’t it?
2012-01-13 02:18:51
@brx0: @MockTM And I guess they just fly into Cuba on a Cessna & drop Our Hero in the woods somewhere? Subtle.
2012-01-13 02:19:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM Did everyone else see the hotel desk clerk’s ears wiggle? O_o
2012-01-13 02:20:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Comrade Colonel”? Really? KGB presence in Cuba is just natural or something, because all them Commies look alike.
2012-01-13 02:20:19
@brx0: @MockTM And now Brandon Lee has a fake moustache and a fake Spanish accent. This is SNL, right?
2012-01-13 02:20:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I shall pluck out Michael Gold’s eyes with my fingers. Or perhaps my toes.”
2012-01-13 02:20:50
@szvan: @MockTM Because it’s not enough that she’s a blonde with a curly do and short shorts: She talks baby talk!
2012-01-13 02:21:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Michael Gold, master of disguise. Next he’ll be the Monty Python “Bring out your dead” guy.
2012-01-13 02:21:21
@rvitelli: @lousycanuck @MockTM “Ha ha, a knife in the chest!” So, you CAN bring a sword to a gunfight?
2012-01-13 02:21:30
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ah, so THIS is where all the animals are bred for SyFy original movies!
2012-01-13 02:21:30
@DrRubidium: @MockTM so the daughter has no accent?
2012-01-13 02:21:38
@szvan: @MockTM “Oh, you’re here to talk about my dad! Uh…well…you’re cute!”
2012-01-13 02:21:48
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Your photographs don’t do you justice. You’re handsome in them.”
2012-01-13 02:21:52
@brx0: @MockTM Waiiiit, I thought we were in Cuba…?
2012-01-13 02:22:15
@DrRubidium: @MockTM So the Cuban army, while hunting for a spy, takes a break to play dice?
2012-01-13 02:22:23
@brx0: @MockTM Lions? Monkeys? Snakes? I smell a plot device here.
2012-01-13 02:22:53
@DrRubidium: @MockTM way to go Lee! You’re the worst spy ever
2012-01-13 02:22:56
@szvan: @MockTM Time to do something stupid, so we can have another fight scene.
2012-01-13 02:23:15
@drskyskull: @MockTM Holy shit, if Brandon Lee is the best agent we’ve got, all Americans will be speaking Russian by the end of the film.
2012-01-13 02:23:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The musical flair for the alarm being tripped was done by dropping the tears of the focus group on a xylophone. True story.
2012-01-13 02:23:42
@DrRubidium: @MockTM so this movie is a slapstick comedy? Oh, I get it!
2012-01-13 02:24:06
@brx0: @MockTM Oh yeah, he’s playing a hunchback beggar now? Because that’s not conspicuous at all in an animal refuge.
2012-01-13 02:24:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I think this is documentary evidence that Brandon Lee is the origin of parkour.
2012-01-13 02:24:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM I think that pratfall hurt me more than it hurt them.
2012-01-13 02:24:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I just dropped in to say bon appetit.” “Que?”
2012-01-13 02:25:15
@brx0: @MockTM So the two Cuban soldiers from earlier are going to be our Comic Relief Duo, I guess. Like we need comic relief here.
2012-01-13 02:25:31
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Sweet mother, she’s got a Valley girl accent.
2012-01-13 02:25:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM “It’s rainin’ Lee! Hallelujah, it’s rainin’ Lee!”
2012-01-13 02:26:11
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I think my father is dead.” It’s obvious from the dress she wore that she’s in mourning.
2012-01-13 02:26:14
@brx0: @MockTM Look, a messy home office full of Death Laser plans. This seems unprofessional.
2012-01-13 02:26:17
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @MockTM AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
2012-01-13 02:26:29
@blakestacey: @MockTM “When I want to flirt, I’ll be wearing an even more absurd dress.”
2012-01-13 02:26:36
@brx0: @MockTM She just said “Caramba”. For reals.
2012-01-13 02:26:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Girls have price stickers? The things you learn.
2012-01-13 02:26:56
@DrRubidium: @MockTM and at what inopportune time are those two going to have sex?
2012-01-13 02:26:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Where do we find this Professor Boobs?”
2012-01-13 02:27:03
@drskyskull: @MockTM Sexy dialogue written by the boys of Mrs. Hanson’s third grade class!
2012-01-13 02:27:19
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @MockTM Again: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2012-01-13 02:27:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Skeleton… look for… boooooobsaaaghh.”
2012-01-13 02:27:54
@szvan: @MockTM And that was the death of an acting career, witnessed on film.
2012-01-13 02:27:55
@brx0: @MockTM Boy, Cuban buildings don’t hold up to a little action movie-ing, do they?
2012-01-13 02:28:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I think your father’s alive, and I know just where to look for boobs!”
2012-01-13 02:28:46
@DrRubidium: @MockTM ‘In the violence of the night’ is the perfect theme song ’cause this movie makes me want to kill somebody
2012-01-13 02:28:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You drive.” “You’ll be sorry. Because I’m a girl, you see. And we’re bitches for not putting out, and can’t drive.”
2012-01-13 02:28:54
@brx0: @MockTM 80s big hair alert.
2012-01-13 02:29:11
@szvan: @MockTM Couldn’t they even get Glenn Frey for the soundtrack like every other 80s movie?
2012-01-13 02:29:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @szvan I’m holding out for Flashdance by the end of the movie.
2012-01-13 02:30:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, he’s firing a gun whose effect is to make men jump off of moving vehicles?
2012-01-13 02:30:16
@szvan: @MockTM You know, while I appreciate that Cuba’s ethnic diversity is visible in the background…speaking roles, people!
2012-01-13 02:30:35
@brx0: @MockTM Wait, it was night just a minute ago. It’s day again? Damn commies and their unnatural day-night cycles.
2012-01-13 02:30:39
@blakestacey: @MockTM All together now: fruit cart!
2012-01-13 02:31:05
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Obligatory car chase vendor stand has been destroyed. Let’s see if we can get two in this movie.
2012-01-13 02:31:29
@brx0: @MockTM Ooh, she has a *gun*! Unexpected!
2012-01-13 02:31:40
@DrRubidium: @MockTM how many cars are going to end up in the harbor?
2012-01-13 02:32:03
@brx0: @MockTM I’m still not 100% sure this looks like Cuba.
2012-01-13 02:32:05
@szvan: @MockTM There are no words to adequately describe that pouty, defiant look on her face, and I’m very sorry for that.
2012-01-13 02:32:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And a ramp at the end of a pier with explosives and no reason for them to have driven off it. Oh yeah. This is quality.
2012-01-13 02:32:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM My theory: Alyssa just took a fatal bullet to the brain but we’ll only notice it at the end of the film.
2012-01-13 02:32:36
@brx0: @MockTM Fruit Cart!
2012-01-13 02:32:56
@DrRubidium: @MockTM how did the sergeant end up in a tank top? and why is there a wet t-shirt contest in the middle of the movie?
2012-01-13 02:33:16
@szvan: @MockTM Gratuitous tit shot. This is the 80s, after all.
2012-01-13 02:33:18
@brx0: @MockTM Another Fruit Cart!
2012-01-13 02:33:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How did the girl comic relief get stripped down to her conveniently white tank top for that wet t-shirt scene?
2012-01-13 02:33:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM Tonight, on TOP GEAR: how quickly can Brandon Lee’s obligatory love interest make a lap in our reasonably priced car?
2012-01-13 02:33:31
@brx0: @MockTM Rustic Basket Cart!
2012-01-13 02:33:37
@DrRubidium: @MockTM “We’ve got nothing but time?” You’re running from the fucking army!
2012-01-13 02:33:51
@DrRubidium: @MockTM We should reach the border by dawn? What fucking border? Where the fuck are you?
2012-01-13 02:34:15
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Where’d you learn to drive like that?” “Well, after my second DUI I really needed to avoid checkpoints…”
2012-01-13 02:34:23
@brx0: @MockTM Pretty sure a VW bus wouldn’t hold up under this treatment.
2012-01-13 02:34:31
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Where’d you learn to drive like that? NASA?” “No, Vassar.” #MoonrakerReferenceSeemsAptHere
2012-01-13 02:34:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Seriously, is this Cuba, or Africa, or what? Where the hell are we? There’s a freaking desert now, and a border to the south!
2012-01-13 02:34:59
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Let me ask you something…” Have you ever heard of the “ball-cutting fish”?
2012-01-13 02:35:01
@brx0: @MockTM Wait. VW bus, a Thing in camo paint, and (I think) an old Dasher. Did VW pay to be in this POS?
2012-01-13 02:35:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM The border? I’m guessing not-Cuba is a not-island country.
2012-01-13 02:35:21
@szvan: @MockTM “Where to?” “Wait, you mean *you* don’t know? We’ve been driving for hours!”
2012-01-13 02:35:22
@brx0: @MockTM And now we’re racing around the Port of Not Really Cuba.
2012-01-13 02:35:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I have put that life behind me! Also, that accent!”
2012-01-13 02:35:46
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Like it, Professor? It’s my newest glass doorknob.”
2012-01-13 02:36:16
@brx0: @MockTM Gratuitous Wet T-Shirt.
2012-01-13 02:36:18
@drskyskull: @MockTM Fun true fact: Ernest Borgnine is a member of the Freemasons.
2012-01-13 02:36:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I would rather die!” “What color?”
2012-01-13 02:36:47
@brx0: @MockTM Also, all these vehicles are right hand drive. Why?
2012-01-13 02:36:48
@szvan: @MockTM “What kind of monster are you?!?” “The kind that dabbles in cheap latex effect in his off hours.”
2012-01-13 02:36:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What kind of monster are you? How could you possibly think to keep all these horror masks on display when they’re just so shoddy?”
2012-01-13 02:36:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM “What kind of monster are you, collecting latex masks from Spencer’s Gifts?”
2012-01-13 02:37:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Pleasant dreams?” “Yes, I was dreaming I was in ‘Die Hard’.”
2012-01-13 02:37:22
@szvan: @MockTM Wait! We’re in Africa?
2012-01-13 02:37:25
@brx0: @MockTM We should reach the border by dawn? Pop quiz: Name all the countries w/ land borders with Cuba.
2012-01-13 02:37:40
@DrRubidium: @MockTM So if they’re heading to Namibia, they were in Angola?
2012-01-13 02:37:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Namibia? Okay, so how did Cuba get so far off-course then? The mysteries this movie answers could shake the fate of mankind.
2012-01-13 02:38:02
@brx0: @MockTM And now it’s the vast California desert-like part of Cuba.
2012-01-13 02:38:09
@drskyskull: @MockTM I challenge one of you to draw a map of the world as represented in this film.
2012-01-13 02:38:43
@brx0: @MockTM I think I’m going to acquire a cheesy Boris-n-Natasha accent before this movie’s over.
2012-01-13 02:38:46
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You drive – and turn that damn tape deck off.”
2012-01-13 02:39:15
@DrRubidium: @MockTM of course that stupid bitch tripped!
2012-01-13 02:39:32
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah, way to murder all those Namibians. Some of them were emigrants from Cuba, you know.
2012-01-13 02:39:37
@brx0: @MockTM And now, today’s entry in Unconvincing Severed Heads Museums…
2012-01-13 02:39:48
@brx0: @MockTM Border to Namibia? What continent are we in again?
2012-01-13 02:40:04
@szvan: @MockTM I really hope she’s wearing sunscreen on those.
2012-01-13 02:40:24
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Yeah, that’s fucking Nevada, not Namibia!
2012-01-13 02:40:24
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “A few miles? I’m glad I wore my heels, because they’re the most practical way to travel through the Namibian desert.”
2012-01-13 02:40:24
@drskyskull: @MockTM “How far is it?” Well, we have to go across two Mobius strips, then circle a logarithmic branch point in the complex plane…
2012-01-13 02:40:46
@brx0: @MockTM I mean, the Cuban army *was* in Angola for a while in the 80s. Is the audience supposed to know that?
2012-01-13 02:41:05
@brx0: @MockTM Driving across Namibia in a VW bus? Pretty sure I saw this on Top Gear once.
2012-01-13 02:41:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM @drskyskull LOL!
2012-01-13 02:41:53
@DrRubidium: @MockTM look, either these to are either going to kill each other or have sex. I hope they kill each other and put us out of our misery
2012-01-13 02:42:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “And let me tell ya something else buster, this is my spunky scene to show that I’m spunky.”
2012-01-13 02:42:07
@brx0: @MockTM And today’s entry in Unconvincing Guy-On-Fire-Suit Work….
2012-01-13 02:42:33
@brx0: @MockTM Wait, the wall says “Kavango” but they’re flying a Polish flag. This sure doesn’t look like Poland.
2012-01-13 02:43:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Who are you and who are you working for? Frederick’s? Victoria’s Secret? Fiacchi?”
2012-01-13 02:43:32
@DrRubidium: @MockTM sorry, was that a bottle of Jack Daniels? And why is there a random Australian?
2012-01-13 02:43:34
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, my. The first decent accent in the movie!
2012-01-13 02:43:41
@drskyskull: @MockTM Did they just find Crocodile Dundee? Are they in Australia now?
2012-01-13 02:43:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wait, wasn’t he explicitly told that she was KGB?
2012-01-13 02:43:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Bottle of Jack Daniels guy is the best actor so far.
2012-01-13 02:44:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “News travels fast, even in the desert. We have much free time for, how you say, hashtag meme games.”
2012-01-13 02:44:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM By which I mean the bottle itself, not the guy holding it.
2012-01-13 02:44:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Sorry for losing my temper.” “It’s all right, it was in your contract.”
2012-01-13 02:45:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Look, can we, like, trade shoes for a while or something?”
2012-01-13 02:45:13
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Michael…” “Hmm?” “Did you know that you can’t lick your elbow?”
2012-01-13 02:45:21
@DrRubidium: @MockTM No, I don’t think it’s safe. That ominous music tells me things are going south very quickly.
2012-01-13 02:45:54
@brx0: @MockTM She Isn’t Who She Seems. The CIA guys said she was KGB, so this bit isn’t actually very mysterious. Unless the screenwriters forgot.
2012-01-13 02:46:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Look, an abandoned adobe house. Think it’s safe?” “No, of course not. That would be silly.”
2012-01-13 02:46:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Do you think it’s safe?” “Not if the synth chords are any clue.”
2012-01-13 02:46:23
@drskyskull: @MockTM The solo instrumental background music makes me picture them being followed by a wandering troubadour.
2012-01-13 02:46:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah, I don’t blame that guy for shooting that arrow just then. I would have aimed a bit lower and to the right though.
2012-01-13 02:46:46
@brx0: @MockTM What, now a hard-drinking Aussie prospector with his camels? Where on earth are we?
2012-01-13 02:47:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM Eeek – sketch factor 7!
2012-01-13 02:47:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Everyone in this movie has the worst aim imaginable – with the exception of Lee, of course
2012-01-13 02:47:35
@szvan: @MockTM Wait, he’s running on government business with a .22?
2012-01-13 02:47:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “At least we’re out of danger now. Now about that blowjob?” *gunshots* “Everyones a critic of my pickup style.”
2012-01-13 02:47:48
@brx0: @MockTM Brandon Lee is a paranoid little dude, isn’t he?
2012-01-13 02:48:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM *stands over body* “Ice to meet you. No, wait, this is a desert. What’s a good line for that?”
2012-01-13 02:48:18
@drskyskull: @MockTM He certainly has a very hearty scream for someone who just got a bullet through his chest.
2012-01-13 02:48:20
@DrRubidium: @MockTM there is no way she could walk barefoot on that sand – it would be too fucking hot
2012-01-13 02:49:31
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck He got his… just deserts. *puts on sunglasses* YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
2012-01-13 02:49:34
@brx0: @MockTM Watch out! Some guy with a bow & arrow is after you! Because they do that! In Cuba!
2012-01-13 02:49:38
@DrRubidium: @drskyskull well, played! @MockTM @lousycanuck
2012-01-13 02:50:10
@brx0: @MockTM #protip for evil minions: When you rush in, don’t go Huaaaagh! to alert our heroes first.
2012-01-13 02:50:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM Wandering aimlessly in a desert, nothing interesting in sight… metaphor for how the screenwriters were feeling at this point.
2012-01-13 02:50:29
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hmmm, kill the guy who wants to kill us and follow his footprints to a place where there’s probably water, or just keep walking?
2012-01-13 02:50:50
@DrRubidium: @MockTM sweet fuck! Those are the worst fight sound effects EVER.
2012-01-13 02:51:09
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Tell me who you work for, or I’ll move my fist towards you and make a sound like I’m punching a slab of meat again.”
2012-01-13 02:51:15
@szvan: @MockTM Oh, come on. At least synch up the punch foley!
2012-01-13 02:51:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “What are you doing?” “I’m helping you!” “No, you’re stealing my damn scene! I was gonna do another line and everything!”
2012-01-13 02:51:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan I’m assuming he hit him so hard he ripped a hole in the fabric of time itself.
2012-01-13 02:52:03
@szvan: @MockTM No, the horse does not *gallop* across the desert for you.
2012-01-13 02:52:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM That horse’s walking like it’s drunk. Then again, I’d have to be drunk to be in this movie too.
2012-01-13 02:52:27
@DrRubidium: @MockTM HOLY SHIT! They’re in fucking San Diego.
2012-01-13 02:52:39
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Okay, after we find your father, we’re going to find this f%&king singer and shut him up once and for all.”
2012-01-13 02:52:49
@brx0: @MockTM Pausing the movie… wife’s home…
2012-01-13 02:53:19
@drskyskull: @brx0 @MockTM Don’t want to admit to her what you’re watching? 😉
2012-01-13 02:53:59
@szvan: @MockTM Yeah, the first thing I’d want after crossing the desert is the bed, not the shower. Uh, huh.
2012-01-13 02:54:04
@DrRubidium: @MockTM ok, is now when we’ll get to the gratuitous sex?
2012-01-13 02:54:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM I wonder whose government he told them to bill this time.
2012-01-13 02:54:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I’ll go tonight and see what I can find under cover of darkness. Because it’s dark at night. And people can’t see me. At night.”
2012-01-13 02:54:33
@DrRubidium: @MockTM thank God there wasn’t a sex scene
2012-01-13 02:54:46
@szvan: @MockTM Sure there’s no support under that dress. This movie had already broken all credibility, but really?
2012-01-13 02:55:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh man. I don’t think I could have withstood a sex scene right then. @DrRubidium
2012-01-13 02:55:15
@drskyskull: @MockTM Brandon Lee’s attempt at a “passionate” gaze said to me: “I’m about to have severe diarrhea.”
2012-01-13 02:55:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM man, they found one voyeuristic synth player.
2012-01-13 02:56:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Vich room?” “Mitch room?” “Vich ROOM?” “Hitch boom?”
2012-01-13 02:56:26
@DrRubidium: @MockTM how the fuck did this movie ever get made? why did they ever show it to anyone?
2012-01-13 02:57:19
@szvan: @MockTM She hasn’t called! But she said she’d call!
2012-01-13 02:57:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ladies and gentlemen, the world’s least inquisitive spy.
2012-01-13 02:57:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM In each of these chase scenes, I feel the urge to sing “Chitty-chitty-bang-bang”.
2012-01-13 02:57:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Listen, I’ve got good news. I just saved a ton of money by switching insurance companies.”
2012-01-13 02:57:52
@DrRubidium: @MockTM love? Really? For fuck’s sake
2012-01-13 02:58:02
@DrRubidium: @MockTM the only good thing about this movie is the shit we’re talking about it
2012-01-13 02:58:53
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “German on the sign now? Good thing I’m a…” *sunglasses* “cunning linguist.” YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
2012-01-13 02:59:28
@drskyskull: @MockTM @DrRubidium Yep — but that makes it all worthwhile! 🙂
2012-01-13 02:59:47
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Lee is THE. WORST. SPY. EVER.
2012-01-13 02:59:55
@szvan: @MockTM Damn, he’s good. Or not.
2012-01-13 02:59:55
@blakestacey: @MockTM Entry is stricten verboten! Sittung un bewatching das blinkenlights!
2012-01-13 03:00:02
@szvan: @MockTM And now we get to the laser nuclear weapon. Can we hope this is the nadir?
2012-01-13 03:01:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I suppose that’s why we’re here?” “The glass doorknob of doom, yes.”
2012-01-13 03:01:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “At last we meet.” “I’d love to shake hands… but I’m a germophobe.”
2012-01-13 03:01:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM laser + diamond = nuclear weapon. Let’s just sit and…process that a while, shall we.
2012-01-13 03:01:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM Turns out the other secret ingredient in the doomsday machine is lame one-liners.
2012-01-13 03:02:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This is some very specialized knowledge that Ernest Boobs-dad knows, to turn a laser plus a diamond into a nuke.
2012-01-13 03:02:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM No matter how bad the science is in this film, it’s no worse than Keanu Reeves as a nuclear engineer in “Chain Reaction”.
2012-01-13 03:02:30
@szvan: @MockTM I’d be more impressed with Lee as an actor if he looked over the people he wanted to fuck and those he wanted to kill…differently.
2012-01-13 03:02:39
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that’s a LOT of dead animals in one room
2012-01-13 03:02:41
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Sporting chance.” “Ve’re going to play Russian roulette… vith my automatic.”
2012-01-13 03:03:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM Hey, Keanu graduated from the same PhD program as Christmas Jones!
2012-01-13 03:03:20
@drskyskull: @MockTM Isn’t that the same trophy room they filmed the end of “Roadhouse” in?
2012-01-13 03:03:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Dude, there was a crossbow RIGHT THERE. Fail.
2012-01-13 03:03:48
@DrRubidium: @MockTM where the fuck did the ninja come from?!
2012-01-13 03:03:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Yes, I keep the diamond in this unlocked wooden box.”
2012-01-13 03:04:00
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that was the lamest ninja attack EVER
2012-01-13 03:04:20
@szvan: @MockTM Tell me the ninja is a dream sequence. Tell me the ninja is a dream sequence. Tell me the ninja is a dream sequence.
2012-01-13 03:04:31
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I intend to kill you and rescue the professor and his daughter.” “You fool! She is perhaps passable with beer goggles, but–”
2012-01-13 03:04:37
@drskyskull: @MockTM Wait… what just happened? Did we skip a reel? O_o
2012-01-13 03:04:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM A ninja. A ninja that is defeated with one punch and a backbreaker.
2012-01-13 03:05:04
@szvan: @MockTM And here is where we rebuild the pyramids.
2012-01-13 03:05:23
@DrRubidium: @MockTM how the fuck did the Cuban soldiers end up in Namibia?
2012-01-13 03:05:28
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Professor!” “I was having the most wonderful dream. I had a grandchild and told him stories about an evil monkey…”
2012-01-13 03:05:33
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan Cigar chomping movie mogul: “No! No! No! Not good enough! You know what this film needs? Ninjas!”
2012-01-13 03:05:35
@lousycanuck: @MockTM A rock pit. Knowing this movie’s track record, it’s probably in Egypt.
2012-01-13 03:05:42
@szvan: @MockTM @drskyskull But we only have the budget for one! And he doesn’t know how to fight!
2012-01-13 03:06:09
@DrRubidium: @MockTM #FFS why are there German’s running the mine? Slaves?
2012-01-13 03:06:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM @blakestacey MST3k call sign!!! 🙂
2012-01-13 03:06:43
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Have you planted the dynamite in the mine?” “As you orde– wait, did you say MINE? DAMMIT Miguel, he said MINE, not MIME.”
2012-01-13 03:06:52
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan … and it’s the director’s unemployed no-good cousin!
2012-01-13 03:07:16
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Have you gathered the dynamite and placed in the boobs? –Damn it.”
2012-01-13 03:07:30
@DrRubidium: @MockTM when did Lee have time to get a new outfit?
2012-01-13 03:07:38
@szvan: @MockTM “No, see, if you just don’t build the middle of each wall, it’ll look like a ruin!”
2012-01-13 03:08:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Worst barber ever. She already shaved her cleavage once today, it can’t possibly have more than a little stubble by now.
2012-01-13 03:08:36
@szvan: @MockTM I’m not sure she hit the right guy with the shovel.
2012-01-13 03:08:56
@szvan: @MockTM Bra strap! See, I told you there was support under there.
2012-01-13 03:09:22
@blakestacey: @MockTM OK, slapstick comedy to Holocaust-style mass executions in, what, 60 minutes?
2012-01-13 03:09:40
@szvan: @MockTM @blakestacey Are you sure you don’t mean seconds?
2012-01-13 03:10:08
@DrRubidium: @MockTM holy Christ, he gave Borgnine a gun
2012-01-13 03:10:12
@drskyskull: @MockTM @DrRubidium #friendlyfire
2012-01-13 03:10:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No, sweetie, look, I know it’s a horrible movie but don’t slit your wrists — oh , the straps. Okay. Thank goodness.
2012-01-13 03:11:04
@drskyskull: @MockTM Since when do Cuban soldiers go, “Yee-hah!”?
2012-01-13 03:11:28
@szvan: @MockTM All right. I’ll give her props. She’s the first person who looked like she wanted to shoot a gun in this whole movie.
2012-01-13 03:11:30
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, that gunshot wound sure did knock the wind out of Brandon Lee.
2012-01-13 03:12:13
@DrRubidium: @MockTM he was Russian? The fuck you say! That was a German accent for sure!
2012-01-13 03:12:22
@drskyskull: @MockTM Now she’s going to cut off the buttons of his jacket one by one, then lower one shoulder of his jacket…
2012-01-13 03:12:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Can’t be bitten by the woman”?
2012-01-13 03:13:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM I’m really pissing off my wife, BTW — I keep cackling at random times.
2012-01-13 03:13:50
@DrRubidium: @MockTM cause in African mines, the diamonds are just laying around like rocks
2012-01-13 03:13:51
@szvan: @MockTM Dammit. I’m almost out of booze, and we still have “movie” left.
2012-01-13 03:13:57
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No don’t hit that stick! IT’S A TRAP!
2012-01-13 03:14:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM A MEXICAN stand-off? Quick, someone make a reference to China. Make this a world tour.
2012-01-13 03:15:06
@DrRubidium: @MockTM explosions don’t do that to people
2012-01-13 03:15:07
@szvan: @MockTM Wow. Their stunt coordinator really has a fetish for tumbling downhill.
2012-01-13 03:15:24
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Secure the vehicle. Right. Wait, what is vehicle?”
2012-01-13 03:16:03
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck “Ah, you’re going with the traditional Antarctic gambit, followed by the Mauritius manuever.”
2012-01-13 03:16:23
@blakestacey: @MockTM Director’s vision: “And for the third act, I see…lots of people…shooting things!”
2012-01-13 03:16:34
@DrRubidium: @MockTM you’ve got to be fucking kidding! Nobody could survive that fall down a fucking mine shaft!
2012-01-13 03:17:34
@drskyskull: @MockTM Seriously, Russian dude, it would be better for everyone if you just stayed in the mine.
2012-01-13 03:17:52
@szvan: @MockTM And now it becomes a zombie movie. A bad one, of course, like the bad spy movie, bad romantic comedy, and bad slapstick.
2012-01-13 03:17:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Thank goodness that bulletproof vest saved me from that fall into the crevice.”
2012-01-13 03:17:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM …but the explosion doesn’t kill him, because he was also wearing his flame-and-explosive-proof vest!
2012-01-13 03:18:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Looks like we narrowly averted… an explosive situation.” YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
2012-01-13 03:18:52
@drskyskull: @MockTM So, is Borgnine German, Russian, or Cuban?
2012-01-13 03:19:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie has the worst collection of fake accents I’ve ever heard
2012-01-13 03:19:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @drskyskull Why choose? The writers didn’t!
2012-01-13 03:19:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Hahahah! They stole the helicopter! Comedy! *crash, explode* Awww.
2012-01-13 03:20:37
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck I’m going with Gerrussiancube.
2012-01-13 03:20:40
@DrRubidium: @MockTM taking “villain never dies” to a whole new level
2012-01-13 03:20:58
@szvan: @MockTM Just keep moving. He’s one of the slow zombies.
2012-01-13 03:21:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Holy shit, he WAS wearing an explosion-proof suit. And probably car-crash-proof underwear.
2012-01-13 03:21:18
@drskyskull: @MockTM …but he’s still not dead, because he’s wearing his getting-rammed-through-a-brick-wall-by-a-jeep-vest!
2012-01-13 03:21:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM This movie’s attempts at zaniness just leave me going, “Wait, what?”
2012-01-13 03:21:36
@DrRubidium: @MockTM that movie was AWFUL.
2012-01-13 03:21:49
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Now let’s go to Filthy Vinnie’s Pawn Shop and hock this sucker!”
2012-01-13 03:22:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “But who’s the rightful owner?” “You’re looking at him, ha ha.” *toss toss* *snatch* “Hey, give it back!”
2012-01-13 03:22:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM More SMUG than has EVER been in a single freeze-frame before!
2012-01-13 03:22:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM This is another one of those films where I assume the crew names are all pseudonyms.
2012-01-13 03:22:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Lesson from this movie: he’s a mercenary man. Mercenary. Mercenary man. Mercenary ma-a-an.
2012-01-13 03:22:48
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Like a dream within a dream”? Fun fact: this was the original rejected theme song for INCEPTION.
2012-01-13 03:22:56
@szvan: @MockTM Why does he get the diamond? All he did was screw up every time the plot needed to be advanced.
2012-01-13 03:23:20
@drskyskull: @MockTM So, what have we learned from tonight’s adventure?
2012-01-13 03:23:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wait one goddamn minute. I WAS PROMISED LASERS.
2012-01-13 03:23:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @blakestacey Oh, and they had that scene where he had to spin the diamond to see if he was in the dream, right!
2012-01-13 03:23:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM I learned that it’s poor spycraft to be followed around everywhere by 80’s theme music.
2012-01-13 03:24:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Is he, or is he not, a mercenary man, though?
2012-01-13 03:24:20
@szvan: @MockTM No identification with actual countries was intended or should be inferred.
2012-01-13 03:24:30
@drskyskull: @MockTM @blakestacey Well you can’t *have* lasers because… because FUCK YOU, that’s why!!!
2012-01-13 03:24:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I learned that you can make repeated hamfisted passes at the hot blonde spy and she’ll break mission protocol and sleep with you.
2012-01-13 03:25:06
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan “Any similarity to actual persons, places or events was really, genuinely, accidental.”
2012-01-13 03:25:33
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It was also known as “Soldier of Fortune”. And something else I think, that didn’t have “laser” in it.
2012-01-13 03:26:22
@szvan: @MockTM I learned that almost all 80s soundtracks really are as bad as I remember them being.
2012-01-13 03:26:28
@blakestacey: @drskyskull @MockTM @szvan “We mean, really, if there WERE a resemblance, oh jesus, we’d be so, so sorry.”
2012-01-13 03:26:37
@DrRubidium: @MockTM what did we learn? Cuba is actually in Africa!
2012-01-13 03:26:54
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan @blakestacey Exactly! 🙂
2012-01-13 03:27:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I learned that there are actually 80s movies without cute animals.
2012-01-13 03:27:50
@drskyskull: @MockTM @blakestacey @szvan @lousycanuck @DrRubidium @brx0 Well, it was fun, all! Good film choice!
2012-01-13 03:27:55
@szvan: @MockTM @lousycanuck Lion cubs! Or didn’t you see those near the breasts?
2012-01-13 03:28:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I learned that dogged determination to kill the hero will get you through three near death experiences, but not four.
2012-01-13 03:28:35
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @szvan Right, do you remember the time index for that? Need to rewind to see the… cubs.
2012-01-13 03:29:09
@lousycanuck: @drskyskull @MockTM @blakestacey @szvan @DrRubidium @brx0 Yes, extraordinarily horrible choice. Any ideas for our next one?
2012-01-13 03:30:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM @szvan @lousycanuck Wait, there were breasts?
2012-01-13 03:31:22
@drskyskull: @lousycanuck @MockTM @blakestacey @szvan @DrRubidium @brx0 Well, I’ve got “The Snorkel” for a live version at #scio12…
2012-01-13 03:31:48
@drskyskull: @MockTM @szvan @lousycanuck @blakestacey Yes, but that prude Borgnine refused to remove his shirt.
2012-01-13 03:32:23
@blakestacey: @drskyskull @lousycanuck @MockTM @szvan @DrRubidium @brx0 I can bring M. Night Shyamalan’s LAST AIRBENDER.
2012-01-13 03:33:19
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @lousycanuck @MockTM @szvan @DrRubidium Oooh, that would be *eeeeeeeevil*… >:)
2012-01-13 03:34:06
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @lousycanuck @MockTM @szvan @DrRubidium @brx0 We could always do “Airbender” live, and “Snorkel” as next Twitter MTM…
2012-01-13 03:34:39
@lousycanuck: @drskyskull @MockTM @blakestacey @szvan @DrRubidium @brx0 Wish I was going to #scio12 if for nothing else than that.
2012-01-13 03:34:49
@DrRubidium: @lousycanuck @drskyskull @MockTM @blakestacey @szvan @brx0 The Screwfly Solution?
2012-01-13 03:34:53
@blakestacey: @MockTM “rm LaserMission1989.ogv”. Whew!
2012-01-13 03:40:14
@drskyskull: @blakestacey @MockTM I know, right? That was the first thing I did once the credits finished!
2012-01-13 03:42:57
@drskyskull: All this @MockTM excitement makes me want to produce another #Rifftrax.
2012-01-13 03:53:20

Mock The Movie transcript: Laser Mission

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