[Content Notice for Consent Violation, BDSM, kink. Some links and discussion NSFW. If you don’t understand a term, click the links or access the whole glossary.]
BDSM and kink do not exist in a bubble isolated from the influences of a sex-hating, sexist society. As such, there often is replication of extant societal norms within alt-sex contexts — the disproportionately-high number of BDSM households where one man has many female partners who are supposed to be faithful to him, for example. When said replication occurs with the enthusiastic consent of all involved, non-participant personal discomfort with it, even discomfort stemming from a legitimate place, isn’t necessarily a legitimate reason to criticize it. At the same time, marginalized people’s discomfort with their oppression being replicated by kinksters is not something to be dismissed out of hand.