Search Term Round-Up #5: Polyamory & Kink

Content Notice for What It Says on the Tin. NSFW.

Inspired in no small part by the grand tradition of Captain Awkward, and written back in August 2015, when I was still at Freethought Blogs.

Other Round Ups:

nude straight boys smoking a cig

I like the cut of your jib.

what i learned when i started polyamory

A lot! Top on the list: The value of honest self-reflection, more gentle yet more honest ways to communicate with my partner, and the value in relationships that don’t fall along the escalator model.

top polyamory problems / dangers of polyamory

General relationship problems and dangers. The more relationships you have (whether simultaneously or in succession), the more chances you have to experience relationship problems or dangers associated with other people.

in a polyamorous relationship, more attracted to one than the other

If you mean sexually attracted, that’s pretty normal. Sexual attraction rarely remains steady in any relationship. Plus, it is quite normal to feel more or less urgently sexually attracted to a partner depending on how long you’ve been with them. Some people take a while to build attraction, some people rely on novelty to feel that strong pull, and others experience some combination based on other factors.

For those in the second category, there are ways to maintain desire. Being with someone for a while means having to explore models of sexual desire that don’t rely on that New Relationship Energy urgency or the thrill of the chase. This is true for monogamous as well as non-monogamous people. The difference is that people who are not restricted to a single sexual partner can get their kicks elsewhere, which can either cause the older relationship to suffer or bring renewed sexual vigor to it. It really depends.

is polyamory for me

If you want the freedom for yourself and your partners to have multiple partners, or you want your partner to have the freedom to have other partners, I would say that exploring it is for you. Notice I left out people who want multiple partners but don’t necessarily want their partner to have other partners.

how to dump polyamorous

Not like this:

Same as how you break up with someone when you’re monogamous. You tailor what you say and do to the particulars of your relationship.

sex without objectification

Don’t treat your partner as merely a means to your sexual gratification.

young collage ladies loosen a virgin

First of all, learn to Google better. The way you’re trying to find things is like someone who has never used the Internet. Secondly, “loose” and “tight” have less to do with virginity, more to do with anxiety and arousal.

is “love” and sexual orientation a matter of both nature and nurture

Yes. As most things are, it’s both.

Search Term Round-Up #5: Polyamory & Kink

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