Beauty Level-Up #9: Things I’d Actually Want From a Smart Mirror

Content Notice for mentions of anti sex-worker violence and body image in the first paragraph.

Health tracker apps completely disregarding AFAB needs. Voice-operated assistants that can help you find the services of a sex worker and then dispose of her murdered body later but unable to find abortion services. And now? Mirrors that tell you exactly what’s wrong with your face.

Awesome.

The future’s so blazingly misogynistic, I gotta wear shades. I suppose that’s what you get when brogrammers are running the show. Thank the Noodly Lord for The Ada Initiative and other pushes to get more non-males into tech.

Until there are more non-males in tech, here’s some free consultation from a femme non-binary AFAB. You’re welcome for the five pieces of advice, Silicon Valley. Go crush some code, bruhs!

  1. Am I doing my eyebrows right?
    Eyebrows are sisters, not twins. But how alike are sisters supposed to be, anyway? I’ve seen sisters who could pass for twins and sisters who barely look related at all. What do?!
  2. Is my eye makeup even?
    Eyes are also sisters rather than twins. It is a proven scientific fact that my real-life sister and I cannot be in each others’ vicinity for more than 4 hours without at least one of us asking the other “Are my eyes even?” One eye is often differently-sized and/or -shaped from the other, so the amount of product for looks like eyeliner wings and dramatic smoky eyes have to be adjusted accordingly. It’s hard to gauge your success or lack thereof at said adjustments after staring at your own face for so long during the application process. I’d imagine a smart mirror could engage in some complicated math to figure it out.
  3. How will this look in different lighting?
    Don’t you hate it when you do what you think is a flashy, dramatic look that turns out to be elegant and subtle? I do. If the mirror simulated what my face would look in different lighting conditions, I could be sure I were sufficiently spackled.
  4. Will it hold up under the weather?
    I live in a fairly temperate climate, so I often forget to adjust my makeup and hair for the weather; the mirror could remember for me. Differences in humidity might sway me to go powder- rather than cream-based, for instance, or indulge in a higher-quality primer underneath it all, or add some finishing spray. The mirror could also track what products best worked for me in particular weather.
  5. Am I in a rut?
    There’s such a thing as tried-and-true and having a signature look, but there’s also something to realizing that you’re letting quality products you own gather dust. The mirror could let you know that you’ve worn, say, that red lipstick 10 times in the past 2 weeks, and ask you if you want to switch it up.

What would you want a smart mirror to do?

Got beauty questions? Drop me a line via the method of your choice: Twitter / Tumblr [anon enabled] / Facebook/ ask.fm (anonymous) / email

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Beauty Level-Up #9: Things I’d Actually Want From a Smart Mirror
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5 thoughts on “Beauty Level-Up #9: Things I’d Actually Want From a Smart Mirror

  1. xyz
    1

    YES, imagine a mirror that could project your favorite eyebrow template onto your face, with parallax effects so you can turn from side to side and see how you’re doing.

    Also, please give me one that can use a camera on the opposite wall to let me see my hairstyle from behind, projected in front of me. You could watch yourself braid! Whee!

  2. 2

    Eyebrows are sisters, not twins. But how alike are sisters supposed to be, anyway? I’ve seen sisters who could pass for twins and sisters who barely look related at all. What do?!

    Hmmm, taking my own sis and me as an example, I have to thin one eybrow to barely a line and die it red-blonde while the other one can stay fat and bushy and dark

    What would be cool?
    Points that would help you to make your eyes even, especially when applying eyeliner or lending eyeshadows. Start line here. Stop here.

  3. 3

    Don’t you hate it when you do what you think is a flashy, dramatic look that turns out to be elegant and subtle?

    I am more chagrined when the opposite happens.

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