I dreamed that there was a secret organization — a corporate organization, but also connected with the government somehow — that was controlling people through subliminal signals created by shadows falling on their bodies while they slept. In the dream, I “woke up” to see some shadows in the corner of the room: the shadows began forming into patterns, and I recognized one of the patterns as the logo for this organization. I was very excited — at last I had proof that this was really happening — but I was also completely terrified, as it was happening to us, right now.
This was a genuine night terror, the first I’ve had in a long time. I woke Ingrid in a panic, but was completely unable to explain why I’d woken her. This was easily the most abstract night terror I’ve ever had, which made trying to form words to describe what was happening even more difficult than usual. Weirdly, the process of trying to explain what was happening forced me to try to make sense of it… and the process of trying to make sense of it made it eventually dawn on me that it didn’t make sense, it was ridiculous, and I’d woken my wife up out of a sound sleep at two in the morning to warn her about the evil government shadow puppets.
I dreamed that Ebonmuse, of the Daylight Atheism blog, had asked me to write a blog post about atheist plumbing for a project he was doing in the atheist blogosphere. I woke up in a guilty panic, thinking, “Shit! I forgot to write that atheist plumbing post I promised Ebon!” It took me a few moments to realize that this was a dream- memory and not a real one.
Update: Here’s the post.
I dreamed that I was applying for a job as a professional dreamer. Specifically, I was applying for the job of United States Dreamer Laureate. The job basically involved having interesting dreams; writing about them was a part of it, but just having the dreams was the primary responsibility. I really wanted the job, and was concerned that my more recent dreams hadn’t been interesting enough to qualify me. I woke up feeling somewhat disappointed that there was no such thing as Dreamer Laureate.
I dreamed that Ingrid and I had just bought a set of black Ikea cabinets. It turned out that these cabinets somehow held the secret to the world, and that Voldemort was trying to destroy them.
I dreamed that if you cracked open a coconut at just exactly the right time and the right stage of ripeness, it would have yogurt inside.
(I actually had this dream a few days ago, but I forgot to blog about it until now.)
I dreamed that Alcoholics Anonymous, and all other 12-step programs, were a Mafia front organization. I was watching a 12-step meeting and saw that there was a back room behind the meeting where a group of Mafia men had gathered to talk business, and I realized that this was going on in 12-step meetings all around the country.
I dreamed that in college, some friends and I as a prank had stolen a thermonuclear missile, and that I was the one who had gotten stuck with hanging on to it. In the dream, it was the present time, and the missile was stashed in a van in a woodsy area behind my house. I was getting ready to move to a new house, and was trying to figure out what to do with the missile. I was afraid that if I tried to move it I might drop it and set it off. Most of the dream involved struggling with the missile, and while I was frightened that I was going to set it off, I was mostly just annoyed that I was the one who was stuck with the damn thing after all these years.
Dream #1: I dreamed that I was at a restaurant with friends (in that dream way, they were close friends in the dream, but not anyone I know in real life). A man came into the restaurant waving a gun around in the air, and everyone in the restaurant started going crazy. I called the police on my cel phone, and then managed to get the gun away from the guy, by hitting him on the head with a large metal valve that was on the table. The police came — but the gun had disappeared, and my friends started saying that they hadn’t seen the gun, didn’t know what I was talking about, and didn’t know why I’d hit this guy (who was still knocked out cold). The police arrested me for assault and for filing a false police report, which they were calling “first degree fraud” and which they saw as much more serious than the assault. The rest of the dream involved me being processed and put in jail, and completely freaking out because it was obvious that my friends were fucking with me or framing me, and I had no idea why. I woke up very upset, and it took me a while to shake it off.
Dream #2: I dreamed that I was in a shoe store trying on sneakers, and discovered that they had started making Converse high-tops with decent padding and arch support. I was very excited — I bought a pair with Tweety Birds all over them, and was thrilled that I could start wearing Converse high-tops again. This was a very happy dream, and I woke up in a good mood, but somewhat disappointed that it wasn’t true.
I dreamed that Ingrid and I were visiting Ingrid’s relatives in Arkansas. She had a couple of old friends there who she was still in touch with, and one of them was a guy who, for complicated legal or logistical reason, needed to get married. So somehow it got decided that Ingrid should marry him, right away, within the next few days.
At first I went along with this, and didn’t think it was a big deal. But as the dream went on and the wedding plans moved forward, I got increasingly upset. It started occurring to me that Ingrid’s marriage to this guy would have real legal standing, greater legal standing than our domestic partnership. And the wedding was happening in a church, apparently to make Ingrid’s fundamentalist relatives and the groom’s fundamentalist relatives happy… and I was getting very weirded out by the fact that Ingrid was going along with this. The dream ended with me at the church just before the wedding, feeling like I had to keep our relationship a secret even though most people pretty much knew about it (a bunch of the other wedding guests were glaring at me), and not sure if I was supposed to sit in the front row with the family or sit in the back as if I was just another guest, and getting very freaked out and and hurt and increasingly sure that this was a very bad idea.
This was obviously a pretty upsetting dream, and I was very relieved when I woke up (although bummed that Ingrid had already left for work and I couldn’t ask her to reassure me). I also woke up remembering that, in fact, California law says that domestic partners have to dissolve their partnership before one of them can re-marry — which helped bring me back to the reality that Ingrid would, in fact, never do this. (It sometimes takes me a while to realize that my dreams aren’t real and don’t make sense.)
Reality note: Ingrid has fundie relatives in Mississippi, not Arkansas. I have no idea why my dream-brain translated that into Arkansas.
I dreamed I was taking a college class in multi-media performance art taught by my friends Tim and Josie. I had decided to do a performance about crying and grief, and was planning to project images of the weeping Virgin Mary onto my own face, while eating pizza, with music by Fred Frith in the background. I knew this was kind of a weak, half-assed idea, but I didn’t have the time to do anything better. But I needed to find some images of crying Virgin Marys, and I knew my co-worker Andrew had a big collection of Virgin Mary statues, so I knocked on his door and woke him up so I could take some photos of his Virgin Marys with my camera phone.
Reality check: My friend Tim and Josie do not teach multi-media performance art (although one is an artist and the other is a musician). As far as I know, my co-worker Andrew does not have a collection of Virgin Mary statues. And I do not have a camera phone. Just so we’re all clear.