#mencallmethings: “hideous,” “ugly,” “cunt”

Content note: misogyny

On Twitter:

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Transcription:

Me:

#Mizzou event at #skepticon was just a PR event for white videographer. Totally inappropriate and fucked-up use of platform. [For those who weren’t following it, this was in reference to this incident, for which Skepticon has apologized.]

Asshole on Twitter:

Man, this is one stupid feminist-because-she’s-ugly cunt!

It’s almost magical how women named “Greta” are invariably hideous!

#mencallmethings, Intersectional Edition! It’s weird how speaking about racism got me hit with misogynist slurs and hate-trolled about being an ugly feminist. No, actually, it’s not weird. It’s entirely predictable.

Also, can I just say: hate-trolling about my name? That is deeply weird, so irrelevant as to be incoherent. It’s like saying, “It’s almost magical how women born in Chicago are invariably hideous,” or “It’s almost magical how women with mild asthma are invariably hideous.”

Note: The #mencallmethings hashtag does not say #allmencallmethings, or #mostmencallmethings. If you want to learn more about the history of this hashtag and why people started using it, please read But How Do You Know It’s Sexist? The #MenCallMeThings Round-Up and Why Are You In Such A Bad Mood? #MenCallMeThings Responds! on Tiger Beatdown, where the hashtag originated. And please do not start a “but not all men are like that, so the #mencallmethings hashtag is reverse sexism!” argument. That has been addressed, at length, in the comments in the #mencallmethings: “FUCKIN HOE,” “FUCKIN FEMINAZI SLUT” post, as well as elsewhere. Please read Why “Yes, But” Is the Wrong Response to Misogyny if you’re wondering why I will not take kindly that that particular line of conversation.

I’m also going to issue the standard request that I always issue when the #thing that #menhavecalled me is some version of “ugly”: Please, unless you’re a personal friend or someone I’m having sex with, don’t try to make me feel better by saying that I’m not ugly. If I write about fashion or post the hot pic of myself in the Skepticon calendar, you can say nice things about how I look… but please don’t do it here. I’m not calling this out to garner reassurance about my appearance. I’m calling this out to show people the kind of shit women routinely deal with. I have a thick skin, and I don’t get my feelings hurt by sexist jackasses calling me names. That isn’t the point.

The point isn’t that I’m not ugly. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.

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Coming Out Atheist
Bending
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Greta Christina is author of four books: Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why, Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless, and Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.

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#mencallmethings: “hideous,” “ugly,” “cunt”
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14 thoughts on “#mencallmethings: “hideous,” “ugly,” “cunt”

  1. 1

    It is perhaps not “magical” but a little disconcerting that I so often agree with what you have written. Your “comforting thoughts” book is a case in point. Will have to read more – and with more care – to find things that challenge my basic beliefs. That’s my problem, not yours.

  2. 2

    I like it how the accusation of ‘feminist because can’t find a partner’ comes mere days after your 10th anniversary, just to make his cluelessness that little bit more obvious.

  3. 3

    Yeah, I always liked the “You are X because (some perceived lack, bandwagon/groupthink)” especially when it is coming from someone who has clearly chosen their thoughts and words through such an obviously rational and evidenced-based consideration.

  4. 5

    ‘feminist because can’t find a partner’

    Trolls included, it’s really time people stopped using the presence or absence of romantic partners as a measure of a person’s worth.

    Part of the reason we have problems with consent, is that we see rejection as an indictment of our personality and character; and in the process of trying to reclaim our status and self-worth, concerns about others become secondary. It’s much healthier to not personalize someone else’s rejection– taking it just as “it was their choice, and they didn’t choose you, and that’s the only thing that means” leaves you only with the grief of a lost relationship… without the added pressure to make them say yes and prove you’re not a loser.

  5. 7

    Well, look at those intelligent, nuanced and well-evidenced points this man made.
    It’s no wonder you have to silence your critics because you could never argue against them, so you have to hide in your comfy safe echo bubble thingy and censor those brave men!

    This comment was brought to you by sarcasm.

    Lucy Montrose

    Trolls included, it’s really time people stopped using the presence or absence of romantic partners as a measure of a person’s worth.

    I agree 100%. Though there is also another observation: THis insult is often used by men who actually can’t find a partner because they’re asshole misogynists (aka “men unfortunately not actually going their own way and leaving women alone”) against women or men who actually do have a partner because those people don’t fit into their ideas of “sexual market value”.

  6. 8

    I wonder which republican candidate he thinks is the best-looking? Because, apparently, that’s how he decides who to fawn on?

    Sounds about as cogent as everything else that comes out of the GOP.

    These insults seem to assume the entirety of a woman’s self-esteem is based on how appealing she is to men. Which is probably projection, if someone were to base their self-esteem on how appealing they are to women.

    Which is bloody exhausting. No wonder a lot of them are coiled so tightly.

  7. 9

    It’s almost magical how anti-feminist comments are invariably devoid of any useful or informative content.

    Hell, even the ones that actually try to respond to a claim or comment rarely have anything to do with the claim or comment to which they’re responding. It’s always somewhere tangential and pointless, or making an attempt to play Socratic while totally failing to grasp even a single point. It’s almost funny some of the time.

  8. 10

    I read your post back in 2012 on this issue back when.

    Didn’t get it then, don’t get it now. Some people just never emotionally advance past 3rd grade I guess.

  9. 13

    Yes. No “but”.

    I’m sure it’s not easy taking on this nonsense. I’m sorry it needs to be done. I keep thinking of what my granddaughter will have to deal with (she’s a 7th grader now). I hate that she has to think in terms of preparing herself for this nonsense, instead of just having a good life.

    Thank you for the consciousness raising.

    Old, white, cis, straight male who thinks you know what you’re talking about.

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