Godless Perverts Social Club Thursday July 16: After Marriage Equality, What’s Next?

Godless Perverts Social Club banner 7-16-15

The Godless Perverts Social Club is meeting tonight, Thursday July 16! We’re picking a discussion topic ahead of time — and this time, the topic is After Marriage Equality, What’s Next? Marriage equality is now legal across the U.S. So what’s next for sexual and gender politics? In the fight for secular sexual liberation and against the religious right, what issues should be our priority? Should we be focusing on transgender rights, employment and housing discrimination, homelessness among LGBT teens? Should polyamorous marriage be on the table? How shall queer communities face the problems of racism and classism? And how can atheists and skeptics support the fight for secular, evidence-based policies about gender and sex?

So please join us! Community is one of the reasons we started Godless Perverts. There are few enough places to land when you decide that you’re an atheist; far fewer if you’re also LGBT, queer, kinky, poly, trans, or are just interested in sexuality. And the sex-positive/ alt-sex/ whatever- you- want- to- call- it community isn’t always the most welcoming place for non-believers. All orientations, genders, and kinks (or lack thereof) welcome. Admission is free, but we ask that you buy food and/or drink at the cafe if you can: they have beverages, light snacks, full meals, and milkshakes made of literal awesome sauce.

The Godless Perverts Social Club meets on the first Tuesday and the third Thursday of every month, 7-9 pm, at Wicked Grounds, 289 8th Street at Folsom in San Francisco (near Civic Center BART). Admission is free, but we ask that you buy food and/or drink at the cafe if you can: they have beverages, light snacks, full meals, and milkshakes made of literal awesome sauce. Continue reading “Godless Perverts Social Club Thursday July 16: After Marriage Equality, What’s Next?”

Godless Perverts Social Club Thursday July 16: After Marriage Equality, What’s Next?
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Greta Speaking in Manteca, CA! Plus San Juan Puerto Rico, and Winnipeg Manitoba

Hi, all! I’m speaking tomorrow (Wednesday, July 15) in Manteca, CA, on the topic of “Coming Out Atheist – How To Do It, How to Help Each Other Do It, And Why”! Plus I have speaking gigs coming up in San Juan Puerto Rico, and Winnipeg Manitoba. Details are below. If you’re in or near any of these cities, I hope to see you there!

Coming Out Atheist
CITY: Manteca, CA
DATE: Wednesday, July 15, 2015
TIME: 7:15 pm
TOPIC: Coming Out Atheist – How To Do It, How to Help Each Other Do It, And Why
SUMMARY: Coming out is the most powerful political act atheists can take. But coming out can be difficult and risky. What are some specific, practical, nuts-and-bolts strategies we can use: to come out of the closet, to support each other in coming out, and to make the atheist community a safer place to come out into? What can atheists learn about coming out from the LGBT community and their decades of coming-out experience — and what can we learn from the important differences between coming out atheist and coming out queer?
LOCATION: Manteca Library, 320 W Center St, Manteca, CA
HOST: Stockton Area Atheists and Freethinkers
COST: Free. Suggested donations of $20 to support this and future colloquiums are appreciated.
EVENT URL: meetup.com/Stockton-Atheist/events/219545698/ Continue reading “Greta Speaking in Manteca, CA! Plus San Juan Puerto Rico, and Winnipeg Manitoba”

Greta Speaking in Manteca, CA! Plus San Juan Puerto Rico, and Winnipeg Manitoba

Dream diary, 7/10/15: Walking the line

sao-joao-avenue
I dreamed that there was a new hobby sweeping the nation, called “Walking the Line” or just “Walking.” On an agreed-upon day, people would come out in the streets and walk down the line in the middle of the street, carrying interesting objects. When they passed each other, they would offer each other the object they were carrying, and decide whether or not they wanted to trade. It occurred to me at one point that it might be dangerous, but it was clear that the car drivers were respectful of the hobby and were driving very safely.

This was an extremely pleasant dream: I ran into lots of people I know and like, and got to enjoy looking at many interesting objects.

Comforting Thoughts book cover oblong 100 JPG
Coming Out Atheist
Bending
why are you atheists so angry
Greta Christina is author of four books: Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why, Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless, and Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.

Dream diary, 7/10/15: Walking the line

Why Are People Bigoted, Even When It Costs Them Money?

burning money
So there’s this interesting social justice question that has some people puzzled. Why do businesses and businesspeople continue to do things that are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, classist, etc. — even when it works against their own immediate, tangible interests?

I was thinking about this when I was listening to the Cracked podcast interview with Andrew Ti, of Yo, Is This Racist? Ti was talking, among many other things, about TV producers who are weirdly not cranking out a dozen “Empire” ripoffs — even though the show is hugely successful, and even though TV is one of the most derivative industries around. (Ti was mostly talking about the sad excuses given by network execs for why they weren’t making more shows like “Empire.”)

But this question comes up a lot. It comes up in discussions of why bakers won’t sell wedding cakes to same-sex couples — even in the midst of a same-sex wedding boom. It comes up in discussions of housing, and why landlords and homeowners are less likely, even flatly unwilling, to rent or sell to black people. It comes up in discussions of hiring, and why employers reject highly qualified job candidates who would contribute greatly to their company, simply because those candidates are women/ people of color/ transgender/ otherwise marginalized. It’s absurdly common for businesspeople to perpetuate bigotry, either consciously or unconsciously — even when it means the loss of immediate, substantial profit. And this cuts across a large variety of businesses.

Sometimes this phenomenon gets treated with bafflement. “They’re so foolish! Don’t they realize they’re losing money?” Sometimes it gets treated as cause for optimism. “This means we’ll eventually win! Market forces and natural greed will break down bigotry and oppression! Capitalism will prevail!”

I don’t see it that way. I think it says something completely different. I think it says this:

The fact that people keep doing bigoted things, even when it works against their immediate financial interests, shows just how valuable privilege is.

empire
Even if you lose money by not making a dozen “Empire” ripoffs, you still gain by perpetuating white privilege.

Even if you lose money by not renting or selling to black people, you still gain by perpetuating white privilege.

Even if you lose money by not hiring talented women, you still gain by perpetuating male privilege.

Even if you lose money by not selling gelato to the hundreds of attendees at an atheist convention, you still gain by perpetuating religious privilege, and more specifically Christian privilege.

Even if you lose money by refusing to sell wedding cakes to same-sex couples, you still gain by perpetuating heterosexual privilege.

Etc.

Think of it this way. Think about affirmative action, and the arguments that are most commonly marshaled against it. “You’re lowering the bar! You’re diluting the talent pool! By going out of your way to look for qualified black people, Hispanic people, women, disabled people, LGBT people — you’re discriminating against all those super-talented straight cisgender able-bodied white guys!”

If we think about this “reasoning” for six seconds, it becomes clear how absurd it is. Expanding a job search to look for qualified people who might not otherwise have been considered — that’s not diluting the talent pool. That’s expanding it. That’s getting more talented people into consideration.

And that’s exactly the problem.

Affirmative action doesn’t lower the bar. Affirmative action brings in more competition.

If you only have to compete against straight, white, cisgender, able-bodied, middle-class men — you’re going to do a whole lot better than if you’re competing against, you know, everyone. And if you’re only okay at your job — which, let’s face it, an awful lot of people are — more competition means you won’t do so well. (To use just one example: When Major League Baseball began to racially integrate, a lot of marginal white players wound up getting cut.)

And jobs are just one example. This phenomenon plays out in pretty much every business where conscious or unconscious bigotry exists — which is to say, pretty much every business.

Privilege is profitable. It’s profitable in thousands of observable, well-documented ways. It’s profitable in the long run, in the medium run, in the short run. In the (usually) unconscious cost-benefit analysis of “bigotry” versus “equality,” privilege is so profitable that perpetuating it is worth losing out on large bundles of cash being dangled right in front of your nose.

So what do we do?

We need to keep putting on the pressure.

We need to make it a whole lot harder to be bigoted than it is not to be. We need to make bigotry more inconvenient, more time-consuming, more costly. When businesspeople say and do bigoted things, we need to make it result in a PR nightmare and some expensive lawsuits and a whole bunch of customers saying, “Screw you, we’re taking our business elsewhere.” Market forces are not going to do it on their own: we need to create the forces that push things in our direction. (Please note that when pundits decry the so-called “witch hunts” and “lynch mobs” consisting of a whole lot of people on the Internet saying, “That’s racist,” “That’s sexist,” “That’s transphobic,” etc. — they’re basically saying, “Please stop putting pressure on people to not be bigoted. Please stop making bigotry inconvenient.”)

Privilege is profitable. We need to make it a huge pain in the ass. We need to make the cost-benefit analysis skew on the side of equality. We need to make bigotry not worth it.

Comforting Thoughts book cover oblong 100 JPG
Coming Out Atheist
Bending
why are you atheists so angry
Greta Christina is author of four books: Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why, Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless, and Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.

Why Are People Bigoted, Even When It Costs Them Money?

Greta Speaking in Columbus OH This Weekend — Getting an Award at the 2015 SSA Annual Conference! Plus Manteca CA; San Juan Puerto Rico; and Winnipeg Manitoba

SSA Con 2015 banner

Hi, all! I have some speaking gigs coming up soon — including at this weekend’s 2015 Secular Student Alliance Annual Conference in Columbus, OH, where I’m being given an award! I’m receiving the inaugural Ambassador Award, given to the Secular Student Alliance donor who best serves as a champion for the organization. Such an ambassador repeatedly and widely shares why the Secular Student Alliance matters and is worthy of passionate support with as many people as possible. I’m also giving a talk there on Activism Burnout: Prevention and Treatment, and I’m moderating a panel discussion on LGBT Activism Beyond Same-Sex Marriage. It’s going to be a busy weekend!

Plus I have other gigs coming up in Manteca CA; San Juan Puerto Rico; and Winnipeg Manitoba. Details are below. If you’re in or near any of these cities, I hope to see you there!

CITY: Columbus, OH (2015 SSA Annual Conference)
DATES: July 10-12, 2015
EVENT: 2015 SSA Annual Conference
TOPIC: Activism Burnout: Prevention and Treatment
SUMMARY: One of the most important keys to the success of the atheist movement is keeping activists engaged for the long haul. But the most inspired and motivated activists are often the ones most likely to eventually burn out. What are some practical strategies for preventing burnout — and for managing it when it happens? And how can activists support each other in not burning out?
LOCATION: The Ohio State University, Ohio Union, 1739 N. High Street, Columbus, OH
HOST: Secular Student Alliance
COST: $49 and up; group discounts available
EVENT URL: secularstudents.org/2015con Continue reading “Greta Speaking in Columbus OH This Weekend — Getting an Award at the 2015 SSA Annual Conference! Plus Manteca CA; San Juan Puerto Rico; and Winnipeg Manitoba”

Greta Speaking in Columbus OH This Weekend — Getting an Award at the 2015 SSA Annual Conference! Plus Manteca CA; San Juan Puerto Rico; and Winnipeg Manitoba

The “Coming Out Atheist” Donation Recipient for May-June 2015: The CFI Student Leadership Conference!

Coming Out Atheist cover
As some of you may already know, I’ve pledged to donate 10% of my income from my new book, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why, to atheist organizations, charities, and projects.

Here’s why. I got lots of help with this book, and working on it felt very much like a collaboration, a community effort. (To some extent that’s true with any book, but it was even more true with this one.) Because coming out is really different for different atheists, it was hugely important to get detailed feedback on the book, so my personal perspective wasn’t completely skewing my depiction of other people’s experiences. So I asked lots of friends and colleagues to give me detailed feedback on the book: either on the book as a whole, or on particular chapters about atheists with very different experiences from mine (such as the chapters on parents, students, clergy, people in the U.S. military, and people in theocracies). Many people were very generous with their time helping out: they put a whole lot of time and work and thought into a project that wasn’t theirs, because they thought it would benefit the community. And, of course, I had the help of the hundreds of people who wrote in with their coming-out story, or who told their coming-out story in one of the books or websites I cited, or who just told me your coming-out story in person.

I want to give some of that back. So I’m donating 10% of my income from this book to atheist organizations, charities, and projects: a different one each month. Each month, one of the people who helped with the book gets to pick the recipient. (For complicated and boring reasons, this donation is consolidating the donations for both May and June.)

The recipient for May-June 2015, chosen by Debbie Goddard, is the Center for Inquiry Leadership Conference.

cfi student leadership conference banner

Since 1996, the Center for Inquiry’s campus outreach initiative has brought together student organizers and activists to train them in outreach, advocacy, activism, and leadership. Now, the conference has expanded to include both campus and community leaders.

The CFI Leadership Conference is designed around three main objectives. First, they give student and local group leaders the tools and skills they need to make an impact in their communities. Second, they create an atmosphere where new and experienced leaders can network and establish important connections to other grassroots leaders in the movement. Finally, they hope to inspire and energize the attendees and empower them to make real change in the world.

The Center for Inquiry is a 501(c) nonprofit, and donations to them are tax-deductible. If you want to support the Leadership Conference too, here’s their donation page!

Coming Out Atheist
Bending
why are you atheists so angry
Greta Christina’s books, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why and Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless, are available in print, ebook, and audiobook. Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More is available in ebook and audiobook.

The “Coming Out Atheist” Donation Recipient for May-June 2015: The CFI Student Leadership Conference!

Seven Reasons “Fiscally Conservative, Socially Liberal” is Nonsense

one-hundred-dollar-bill
“Well, I’m conservative — but I’m not one of those racist, homophobic, dripping-with-hate Tea Party bigots! I’m pro-choice! I’m pro-same-sex-marriage! I’m not a racist! I just want lower taxes, and smaller government, and less government regulation of business. I’m fiscally conservative, and socially liberal.”

How many liberals and progressives have heard this? It’s ridiculously common. Hell, even David Koch of the Koch Brothers has said, “I’m a conservative on economic matters and I’m a social liberal.”

And it’s wrong. R-O-N-G Rong.

You can’t separate fiscal issues from social issues. They’re deeply intertwined. They affect each other. Economic issues often are social issues. And conservative fiscal policies do enormous social harm. That’s true even for the mildest, most generous version of “fiscal conservatism” — low taxes, small government, reduced regulation, a free market. These policies perpetuate human rights abuses. They make life harder for people who already have hard lives. Even if the people supporting these policies don’t intend this, the policies are racist, sexist, classist (obviously), ableist, homophobic, transphobic, and otherwise socially retrograde. In many ways, they do more harm than so-called “social policies” that are supposedly separate from economic ones. Here are seven reasons that “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” is nonsense.

empty-change-purse
1: Poverty, and the cycle of poverty. This is the big one. Poverty is a social issue. The cycle of poverty — the ways that poverty itself makes it harder to get out of poverty, the ways that poverty can be a permanent trap lasting for generations — is a social issue, and a human rights issue. Continue reading “Seven Reasons “Fiscally Conservative, Socially Liberal” is Nonsense”

Seven Reasons “Fiscally Conservative, Socially Liberal” is Nonsense

Godless Perverts Social Club, Tuesday July 7 and Thursday July 16!

Godless Perverts Social Club banner 7-7-15

We have two Godless Perverts Social Clubs in July! The next one is this Tuesday, July 7 — and the one after that is Thursday, July 16.

Tuesday July 7 is one of our Casual meetups — we’re not picking a topic ahead of time, we’ll just chat about whatever comes up. Conversation is usually related to sex, sexuality, gender, atheism, religion, skepticism, science, etc. — but not always.

Godless Perverts Social Club banner 7-16-15

On Thursday July 16, we’re picking a discussion topic ahead of time — and this time, the topic is After Marriage Equality, What’s Next? Marriage equality is now legal across the U.S. So what’s next for sexual and gender politics? In the fight for secular sexual liberation and against the religious right, what issues should be our priority? Should we be focusing on transgender rights, employment and housing discrimination, homelessness among LGBT teens? Should polyamorous marriage be on the table? How shall queer communities face the problems of racism and classism? And how can atheists and skeptics support the fight for secular, evidence-based policies about gender and sex?

So please join us! Community is one of the reasons we started Godless Perverts. There are few enough places to land when you decide that you’re an atheist; far fewer if you’re also LGBT, queer, kinky, poly, trans, or are just interested in sexuality. And the sex-positive/ alt-sex/ whatever- you- want- to- call- it community isn’t always the most welcoming place for non-believers. All orientations, genders, and kinks (or lack thereof) welcome. Admission is free, but we ask that you buy food and/or drink at the cafe if you can: they have beverages, light snacks, full meals, and milkshakes made of literal awesome sauce.

The Godless Perverts Social Club meets on the first Tuesday and the third Thursday of every month, 7-9 pm, at Wicked Grounds, 289 8th Street at Folsom in San Francisco (near Civic Center BART). Admission is free, but we ask that you buy food and/or drink at the cafe if you can: they have beverages, light snacks, full meals, and milkshakes made of literal awesome sauce. Continue reading “Godless Perverts Social Club, Tuesday July 7 and Thursday July 16!”

Godless Perverts Social Club, Tuesday July 7 and Thursday July 16!

Speak the Truth, Do the (Blank)

Game time!

I was at an event at a Unitarian church a little while ago, and I saw a stained glass window that puzzled me. It’s a decorative pattern, featuring furly banners with words on them. But the last banner is blank. The window reads, “Speak the Truth, Do the (Blank).”

stained glass window speak the truth do the (blank)

So I have two topics of conversation here.

One: Why the blank banner? My guess is that the original piece of stained glass got broken, and it was cheaper to replace it with a blank banner than one with the missing word. But that’s just a guess. Anyone have any actual information shedding light on this — or any entertainingly uninformed speculation of their own?

Two, and much more fun: How would you fill in the blank?

“Speak the truth, do the (blank).”

Your time starts — now!

Comforting Thoughts book cover oblong 100 JPG
Coming Out Atheist
Bending
why are you atheists so angry
Greta Christina is author of four books: Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God, Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why, Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless, and Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.

Speak the Truth, Do the (Blank)

Why Progressives Should Stop Using Violent Rhetoric

(Content note: hate and threats, including violently misogynist hatred and threats of rape and death.)

Progressives condemn the hateful vitriol aimed at feminist women.

Why do we aim it at people we don’t like?

fire
As you probably know, Texas pastor and conservative activist Rick Scarborough recently commented on the right-wing Christian fight against same-sex marriage, saying, “We are not going to bow, we are not going to bend, and if necessary, we will burn.”

Many progressives responded as if Scarborough had threatened to set himself on fire. And many of those progressives responded to this supposed suicide threat with glee. They said things like, “I’ll give him the matches,” and, “Can I bring the marshmallows?” When the Supreme Court decision on marriage equality came down, they called for Scarborough to make good on his supposed promise, and mocked him for not doing it. (This isn’t just one or two people, either — it’s been all over my Facebook feed.)

I have a couple of problems with this. One, as Ed Brayton (Dispatches from the Culture Wars) has pointed out repeatedly on Facebook, is that Scarborough’s statement was not, in fact, a threat to set himself on fire. It was an absurd statement of a willingness to fight marriage equality to the death — but it wasn’t a threat to kill himself by burning. But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about my other problem with this progressive response.

My problem is that I see it as a threat.

Here’s the thing. I’m a feminist writer on the Internet — which means I get a whole lot of people publicly saying that I should experience brutal violence or die in some horrible way, and expressing pleasure at the thought of it happening. And when they do, I see it as a threat. Most of my readers see it that way, too. When people publicly tell me “I HOPE YOU GET RAPED,” or that “someone should tattoo a giant cock across your face,” or that “I think I’m going to become a far right wing, woman raping clergyman,” or that I should “GO CHOKE ON A DICK AND DIE,” or that I should “just die already,” or when they tell me to “Go fuck yourself with a knife,” or when they tell me “Kill yourself” — most of my readers recognize it as a threat. When other women are targeted with hateful messages saying, “You should be killed very slowly,” “Will somebody please rape Rebecca Watson,” “This bitch needs to be punched in the throat,” or “Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself Kill yourself…”– most of my readers recognize it as a threat.

My readers understand that a threat doesn’t have to be explicit to be real. Continue reading “Why Progressives Should Stop Using Violent Rhetoric”

Why Progressives Should Stop Using Violent Rhetoric