Ever since we got Comet, Ingrid and I have been trying to write a song for her, to the tune of the Colonel Bogey March. Otherwise known as the tune from “Bridge Over the River Kwai.” Otherwise known as the “Comet, it makes your teeth turn green” song, beloved by children across this great nation.
Now we have one! It was posted in a comment by ReasJack, in response to my latest Catster piece about Comet, Hell’s Kitten: Learning to Love Our Play-Aggressive Cat. And it’s beautifully done. The art of the song parody is a delicate one, and many people don’t get it quite right — but this one rhymes, and scans, and has all sorts of inventive little bits. We love it. Thanks!
Here, by ReasJack, is Theme from “Cat Over the Fridge Up High.”
She’ll bite like a machine
Your feet she’s in between
Your stuff she’ll glom it
She’ll chow down on it
And vomit todaaay
She needs some more play time
She thinks “That LEG IS MINE!”
She’ll jump upon it
So play with Comet
Get on it
About the author
Greta Christina has been writing professionally since 1989, on topics including atheism, sexuality and sex-positivity, LGBT issues, politics, culture, and whatever crosses her mind. She is author of The Way of the Heathen: Practicing Atheism in Everyday Life
, of Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God
, of Coming Out Atheist: How to Do It, How to Help Each Other, and Why
, of Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless,
and of Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More,
and is editor of Paying For It: A Guide by Sex Workers for Their Clients
. She has been a public speaker for many years, and many of her talks can be seen on YouTube. Her writing has appeared in multiple magazines and newspapers, including Ms., Penthouse, Chicago Sun-Times, On Our Backs, and Skeptical Inquirer, and numerous anthologies, including Everything You Know About God Is Wrong
and three volumes of Best American Erotica.
(Any views she expresses in this blog are solely hers, and do not necessarily represent this organizations.) She lives in San Francisco with her wife, Ingrid. You can email her at gretachristina (at) gmail (dot) com, or follow her on Facebook
13 thoughts on “The Comet Song: Theme from “Cat Over the Fridge Up High,” by ReasJack”
I don’t think Cuttlefish needs to worry about his gig at FtB :-b
Paraphrasing Mr. Safety, she’s the meanest little kitty so you named her Comet.
I’m thrilled you guys like it.
“…makes your teeth turn green” (?)
I used to be a child, I managed to miss that one. I’m only 56 so it might be a matter of geography.
My current and last cats had theme songs, but they weren’t as clever as Comet’s.
By the by, Colonel Bogey’s march was also (in fact originally) the tune to “Hitler had only one big ball….”
[…] The Comet Song: Theme from “Cat Over the Fridge Up High,” by … […]
Oops, the Hitler song was not the original incarnation of Colonel Bogey March. Sorry.
Greta, just a word of thanks for your blogging about Comet. I have just conditionally adopted a “play-agressive” 10 month old kitten to prevent its going to a shelter. She, I’ve not named her yet but she might be Shalazar, does the knocking stuff off high places, insisting, this 4 lb wonder, on stalking and pouncing on my 20 lb male, and the thinking that ankles must be chew toys. I was delighted to just have an understanding of her nature, and now believe I just might be able to keep her. Thank you!
The rhyme with “vomit” was a grim inevitability.
The downside of calling my cat Fortran, besides having to explain it to everyone, is that nothing rhymes with Fortran. Go on, try it.
I’m sure many have seen this, but it’s the best cat video as reported by slate and nyt. Pretty funny stuff.
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