What Women Want, and the Myth of the Psychic Lesbians

I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It ties together the notion that lesbians naturally know how to please another woman sexually better than straight men, with the age-old question, “What do women want?” It’s called What Women Want, and the Myth of the Psychic Lesbians, and here’s the teaser:

I want to talk about the myth of lesbian sexual infallibility.

And I want to talk about the fundamental flaw inherent in the very question, “What do women want?”

The Times article got me thinking about this very pervasive myth about sexuality, one that I held myself for many years. (I hate those, don’t you? I always get more cranky about misconceptions that I once believed.)

The myth is this:

Lesbian sex is better than straight sex . . . because who knows better how to make love to a woman than another woman? Who knows a woman’s body better than another woman? Who knows what sex and arousal and orgasm feel like to a woman, better than another woman?

Okay. So. Can anybody tell me the flaw in this myth? You, there. Making out at the back of the class. What’s the flaw?

That’s right. Gold star for you. The flaw in this myth is:

To find out the flaw in this myth, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!

What Women Want, and the Myth of the Psychic Lesbians

9 thoughts on “What Women Want, and the Myth of the Psychic Lesbians

  1. 2

    This is one of those things that should be blindly obvious but isn’t. In sex-ed we learned that the most important sexual organ, found in both males and females (and by extension transgenders, of course,) is the …. whoops, don’t want people to not follow the link.

  2. 5

    Yes, I for sure think that that just the fact that we are all individuals with even a different capacity for sexual desire and performance would rule out that only people of the same sex can know what ‘feels right’. I held this belief for some time as well.

  3. 6

    So true! I was dating a significantly younger guy for a while, and mixed in with the (affectionate) jokes about MILFs and cougars he got from his friends, there was the meme “dude, this is a great opportunity, you’ll learn a lot about how to please women ’cause she’s experienced and can show you.” I smiled when I heard this, and pointed out that while this wasn’t ENTIRELY crazy, all I could teach him was how to please ME, and it wouldn’t necessarily work on the next girl, and the best skill he could learn was PAYING ATTENTION.
    It was a fun time.

  4. 7

    It certainly is hard to apply the pyschic gay argument to anyone who is not gay. It is certainly true that I have easier and mroe extensive access to my own genitals than does any woman, but I don’t have the same easy access to women’s genitals, which is what I would need in order to really know “what mean really like”.
    If I had to have sex with a man now, I might be able to give him a passable hand-job, but I’d be at a loss about what to do next.

  5. 9

    Thanks for making the main point here, Greta. It’s onw I make at the beginning of my Good Vibrations class on using your hands on a woman. And then I make it again and again. I think at first some guys are disappointed that I’m not going to teach them “what women want,” but they usually get over it quickly and learn something.

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