Not what I’d expected.

My piece about cheating (the one on the Blowfish Blog last week) got more comments than any other Blowfish piece I’ve written. By far. And given the, shall we say, feisty nature of the comments, a follow-up post seemed called for. So I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog, Is Cheating Ever Okay? Part 2, and here’s the teaser:

I’m going to take the most extreme situation to illustrate my point. Admittedly it is an extreme situation; but it’s also not an unrealistic one. In fact, it’s one I’ve seen described more or less verbatim in the sex columns.

You’re in a long- term relationship. You have kids, or a business, or some other major entanglements together: entanglements that would make a split extremely difficult and painful, and that affect other people than just the two of you. And you do, in fact, both like being coupled with each other, and would much rather stay together than split up.

Your partner has stopped having sex with you. You’ve tried to discuss it with them, but they either refuse to even talk about it, or don’t see it as a problem. They are unwilling to change. They think sex is something you do when you’re younger, and that you should just accept the disappearance of sex as a normal part of life. And they are unwilling to consider non-monogamy.

What would you do?

To find out more about why I think cheating in a relationship can be, if not a morally excellent choice, then at least an understandable one, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!