Family members and others who don’t want to read about my personal sex life, please note: This piece, and the piece it links to, talks about my personal sex life a certain amount. If you don’t want to read that stuff, please don’t read this piece.
I have a new piece up on the Blowfish Blog. It’s about why non-monogamy is important to me and why I think it can be an asset in a relationship… even when, in any practical sense, it’s largely theoretical. It’s called The Joy Of Theoretical Non-Monogamy, and here’s the teaser:
This is probably the single most important lesson that non-monogamy taught me. When you’re monogamous, every single person you’re even moderately attracted to seems like Shangri-La, a lost city of infinite erotic promise, with genitals made of divine light and chocolate ice cream that would transform your life if only you could have a taste. (It did for me, anyway.) The allure of the forbidden, and all that.
But when you’re non-monogamous, you remember that you don’t actually want to go to bed with every attractive person who crosses your path. Some attractive people become much less attractive on closer acquaintance. Some attractive people are crazy; some attractive people are dull; some attractive people have appalling political opinions. And some attractive people you just don’t connect with. Especially if you have a busy, reasonably fulfilling life, the reality of non-monogamy may well turn out to be that most people who you’re passingly attracted to are not, in fact, people you actually want to fuck. They may be perfectly lovely, but theyâre just not worth the effort.
To find out more about how non-monogamy can actually make Other People less of an issue in a relationships instead of more, read the rest of the piece. Enjoy!