Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Democratic Party Catfight

Vote for John Rodham Obama! Or Hillary Hussein McCain or or or...

There is great rending of clothing, pulling out of hair and gnashing of teeth going on down in the Greatest Fucking Country the Earth Has Evar Known. Seems that the 300 month primary campaign to make me hate every single fucking candidate for the job of President has devolved into a party rending battle of camp followers. For week upon tiresome week the Obama camp, accused of being vacuous, robotic fanatics, have been insisting that their man has already won and that Hillary's determination to stay in the race is just wrecking everything. On the other side Hillary's people are insisting that there's a chance and that they will stay in the race until the race is done. Meanwhile, somewhere else, John McCain is peeing in puddles and calling his wife a cunt.

In a recent thread over at
Sadly, No! there's a scathing take on Hillary's stubborn refusal to quit. It is a mash-up of a film about the last days of Hitler's regime and it is both filthy and funny. In the comments, rather a few of the concern troll types pooped their pants in outrage, so Jillian, in an attempt to achieve balance, found a video that slammed Obama in hopes of shutting off the weeping. Unfortunately the Obama video isn't funny or clever. But hey, it's the vulgar thought that counts. Not that it would have quelled the camp whiners anyway.

But as I read through the comments, I realized something that has been nagging at the back of my mind. Like Jillian over at Sadly, No! I think both of the Democratic candidates suck fucking wind. I don't like Hillary. Other than her crazy notions about universal healthcare, she could easily be a Republican. She's about as liberal as cheese is chocolatey. And I don't like Obama. Even if he actually is sincere and believes the line of codswallop he's peddling, he's full of shit. Blah blah hope, blah blah change, blah blah yes we can... oh isn't he dreamy. Yeah dreamy, dreamy as in detached from reality. Vapor.

Anyway, the Democrats have two mediocre candidates, one of whom will face off against the crazy old coot with anger issues. So far as I can tell, somebody will either win or the supreme court will pick a name out of a hat and there'll be a new president. A brand new shitty president. So I'm hoping it will be dangerous rage monkey John McCain.

And here's why.

If Hillary wins the nomination (unlikely as that appears to be) and if she becomes president, then the status quo wins. She represents the great continuum of people that already have all the influence keeping all the influence. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.... in a pantsuit! If Obama takes the nomination (looks like it from here) and takes the white house there will be millions upon millions of people waiting impatiently for him to deliver the nebulous promises of hope and change. Should he even attempt to steer the nation on a progressive course he will face opposition from all sides. Not the least of which being from within his own party. Don't for a second imagine that Rahm Emanuel and the rest of the reactionary wing of the party will allow that to happen. Obama will have a brief honeymoon period as the golden boy and then the people who chanted and dreamt along with him will want their fucking cookies and they will want them NOW! And he ain't gonna have no cookies.

But.... if the geriatric dunderbunny from the GOP moves into the White House of God on a Shining Hill, well, he'll be declaring wars on Iran, Venezuela, Wisconsin and other far flung empires and such. L'il George has been working double time to rig the country like a Baghdad Chevrolet. The next president is going to enter office hamstrung, hog-tied, fucked and fiddled. The path of ruin and damage that Bush has piloted is on course and running full steam ahead. There's going to be some carnage down the road and it might as well fall into the lap of the GOP, they broke it, they should buy it. The other excellent news is that creepy Connecticut man-tramp Joe Lieberman will suck the wrinkles out of every flaccid member in reach to get the nod as vice president with his BFF big John. So when the shit hits the fan Lieberman will be picking yesterday's corn out of his teeth.

In the mean time the Hillary and Obama camps will square off for what threatens to be a hair pulling, name calling cat fight of idiotic proportions. Blogs that I normally enjoy reading have already become partisan urinals and if the supposed progressive sphere of the net is an indication of the party, then endless pissing contests will cause a grand schism. This is a good thing. The Blue Dog Democrats and their slightly less Republican associates in the DLC are already fighting liberal and progressive Democrats to prevent any form of policy shift away from the neo-conservative, god bothering shit that the world has grown weary of. With a majority in congress and control of the senate, the Democrats have managed to achieve about as much effective opposition to the president as the Liberal Party of Canada has checked the agenda of the Stephen Harper Party.

The Democrats seem determined to cut their own noses off and I say it is about damned time. Really. This represents one of those cusp moments where things can change and not in that vague, meaningless way that Obama is speechifying. Let the GOP own the debacle that has become the foreign policy, economy and ruling culture of America. Let the Democrats destroy their own party. And if there is any justice in the world the American two party system will be compromised, broken and rebuilt with more than two viable parties. Then the voters and the world could regain some actual hope that the trend toward retarded exceptionalism might finally end. Then there might be a range of choice greater than evil or stupid.


Red Tory said...

Well, don't hold back there, boyo. Tell us what you really think. ;)

rgraham666 said...

In my opinion, it isn't just the Democratic Party that's sharply divided, it's the whole of the U.S.

A division, considering the U.S. liking for it, that will be solved by violence.


Ti-Guy said...

It's not easy being a Democrat; imagine a party that has to appeal to everyone from libertarians to red Tories to Liberals to the reddest of the NDP and who are stuck there because the Republikkkans are no alternative whatsoever?

I have at the least the satisfaction of telling a scolding Dipper to fuck the hell off every once in a while and not have to worry that I'm undermining party solidarity.

E in MD said...

I agree with most of what you said. I'm hoping for a Democratic win solely for the purpose of making sure McSame and Bush polices don't go on for another four years.

Clinton's not going to change anything.

Obama will likely change some things but I think in the end he's merely the least offensive of the candidates for me.

However, this will open up the possibility for an independant candidate in 2012. Because when people find out that the Democrats are just as big a bunch of crooked idiots as the Republicans are ( perhaps in a different direction ) and can't deliver on what they promised MAYBE then the people will decide not to vote for any more of these assholes.

oh...and you should add Canada to those list of countries we'll invade.. Remember you guys got a lot of oil up there... We import most of our oil from you guys. Why import it when we can just invade you and take it? It's much simpler that way and the military industrial complex can blow more shit up and make untold billions more Euros ( since dollars suck ).

I mean we can't have military contractor CEOs and Oil company CEOs driving around in less than ten different gold plated Lamborghini's can we? That would be at travesty!

Miss Cellania said...

This is why I've backed off talking politics for the last couple of months. I start off distrusting anyone who would actually want the job of president and would go through the hell that's necessary to get the job. Then the two dems left standing are spending so much time and videotape sucking the funds out of each other that there won't be enough left for the general campaign.

Meanwhile, McCain is sitting pretty just because he's not in the fight right now. We should be spending all our political energy exposing his rottenness at this point.

KEvron said...

for me, there is still only one issue: iraq (and , by extension, the rest of the middle east). with mccain, you know without any doubt what he intends. with the dems, at least there's a possibility.