When we last visited the imaginings of Earth Science 4th Edition, they’d just finished explaining that Noah, his family, and his boatload of animals were all busy repopulating the barren earth after making a new covenant with God. The text doesn’t state things in bald terms, but God’s basically just promised never to commit total genocide again, and also, everyone’s been ordered to fuck like bunnies (incl. bunnies) so that God will have plenty of creatures to refrain from genociding.
This, folks, is creation science.
You may have wondered how the fuck kangaroos and sloths and such traveled from the Ark on Ararat all the way to different continents thousands of miles and many oceans away. You’re not going to get an answer here. But in their Life Connections sidebar, these anti-evolution folks are gonna ‘splain how two of every kind became millions of species and billions of individuals. See, before the Flood, the entire earth was one “mild-to-tropical,” uniform Paradise. We know this because there are tropical fossils in Antarctica. Wow! Look at them using all that evidence to speculate extra-Biblically!
Anyway, after the Flood, the world ended up with “freezing ice caps and broiling deserts,” which the animals right off the Ark weren’t adapted – I’m sorry, created – for. So, “In His wisdom, God created mechanisms in the original kinds of animals and plants so that they or their offspring could change in order to live in different conditions.”
The fact this shows God was planning his genocide well in advance goes unremarked. Continue reading “Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XL: Wherein Evolution Goes Turbo” →