Oops, I’m Doing It Again!

Ah, yes, November. Month of harvest, fall, Thanksgiving, and that special hell known as NaNoWriMo.

And yeah, I know, I swore I never would, but I’m doing it again.

Look, it’s no big. I’m going to use it to finish Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 4: Numbers. And I know some folks will complain because it’s supposed to be a novel and it’s supposed to be fiction, but hey – the Bible is fiction. And I’m of the opinion that NaNo is no use unless you can use it to further your writing goals. In my case, my goal is to get this damned book done, because I’d like to spend less than 66 years completing the Really Terrible Bible Stories series.

So I’ve done up the cover: Continue reading “Oops, I’m Doing It Again!”

Oops, I’m Doing It Again!
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(Repost) “I Knew I Was Walking a Tightrope” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music

Merril is rapidly gaining prestige in the FLDS community by delivering daughters for marriage to the prophet. Now that he’s traded three of them, he’s “one of the most exalted men in the community.” Let’s have a closer look at this exalted man, shall we?

Content Note: Emotional, verbal, and financial abuse.

Merril is an abusive shit, especially to his wives. Reading between the lines of what Carolyn says about him not being as predictable as her (also abusive) mother, we find he’s prone to blow up with very little or no warning. It’s taken Carolyn many years of monitoring his behavior closely to figure out when it’s time to get the hell away from him before he unloads. But she can’t just leave the room – she has to manufacture an excuse that won’t “make him suspicious.”  I assume from the context that means he’ll verbally assault her if he doesn’t find her reason for leaving his presence satisfactory. Continue reading “(Repost) “I Knew I Was Walking a Tightrope” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music”

(Repost) “I Knew I Was Walking a Tightrope” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music

(Repost) Adventures in ACE X: Misinformed About Metamorphic

There comes a point when, during the perusal of an ACE Science PACE, the brain bluescreens. The system shuts down for self-protection. It’s usually at about the point where you’ve encountered the umpteenth wrong thing in as many sentences, and you begin wondering how any adult can be so bloody fucking ignorant. You suddenly realize that more than one bloody fucking ignorant adult was involved in writing this pablum. And you begin to consider that some of the children being subjected to this shit will never recover, but will someday regurgitate this shit with updated pictures and errors, then expect a whole new generation of kids to lap it up. This is about the point where the brain crashes.

It’s hard to get through without multiple system failures, is what I’m saying. Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in ACE X: Misinformed About Metamorphic”

(Repost) Adventures in ACE X: Misinformed About Metamorphic

Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XL: Wherein Evolution Goes Turbo

When we last visited the imaginings of Earth Science 4th Edition, they’d just finished explaining that Noah, his family, and his boatload of animals were all busy repopulating the barren earth after making a new covenant with God. The text doesn’t state things in bald terms, but God’s basically just promised never to commit total genocide again, and also, everyone’s been ordered to fuck like bunnies (incl. bunnies) so that God will have plenty of creatures to refrain from genociding.

This, folks, is creation science.

You may have wondered how the fuck kangaroos and sloths and such traveled from the Ark on Ararat all the way to different continents thousands of miles and many oceans away. You’re not going to get an answer here. But in their Life Connections sidebar, these anti-evolution folks are gonna ‘splain how two of every kind became millions of species and billions of individuals. See, before the Flood, the entire earth was one “mild-to-tropical,” uniform Paradise. We know this because there are tropical fossils in Antarctica. Wow! Look at them using all that evidence to speculate extra-Biblically!

Anyway, after the Flood, the world ended up with “freezing ice caps and broiling deserts,” which the animals right off the Ark weren’t adapted – I’m sorry, created – for. So, “In His wisdom, God created mechanisms in the original kinds of animals and plants so that they or their offspring could change in order to live in different conditions.”

The fact this shows God was planning his genocide well in advance goes unremarked. Continue reading “Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XL: Wherein Evolution Goes Turbo”

Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XL: Wherein Evolution Goes Turbo

(Repost) “A Radical Departure” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music

There are only a few situations in which having coffee with your friends is a revolutionary act. Being in the FLDS is one of them. And it’s something you may not even be able to contemplate until your sister is forced into marriage with another man.

Content note for forced marriage, spiritual abuse, and financial coercion.

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Carolyn’s sister Linda. She and her husband have fallen on hard times and, with no other options, moved back to Short Creek. The sisters’ father offers to help her financially, but only if she divorces her husband (who’s on the wrong side of the FLDS schism) and allows herself and her child to be assigned to another man. Pregnant and out of options, she agrees. Continue reading “(Repost) “A Radical Departure” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music”

(Repost) “A Radical Departure” – Escape Chapter 19: Resound of Music

(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IV-E: Wherein there is a Climate of Jeer

The Christianist authors of Earth Science 4th Edition, after achieving a crescendo of crackpottery, manage to dial it back down to nearly knowledgeable as they explain Short-Term Climate Change. They describe things like ENSO and La Niña in terms befitting a science text. But you can see them slipping when they devote a section to volcanism. All that ash! It cools the world!

Um. Actually. Ash is just a part of what causes cooling due to volcanic eruptions. But BJU writers can’t be bothered with little things like sulfur dioxide. They also claim forest fires and “large regional dust storms” can cool the climate like volcanoes. Forest fires in Northern latitudes may cool it a bit, but not because of ash – it’s because all those lovely dark green conifers are gone, which means snow’s free to reflect the sun’s heat, and it’s not like that’s going to reverse the upward trend in warming. If an area hasn’t got snow, even that bit of cooling is unlikely. And, of course, burning trees releases bunches o’ carbon, which ultimately leads to more warming. As for dust storms, sure, those dust clouds can reduce temps – but that’s neglecting the winds that, in some regions, bring warm air right back in. And if increased dust starts landing on snow, you get an increase in solar radiation absorption, and you’ve warmed stuff right up again. Continue reading “(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IV-E: Wherein there is a Climate of Jeer”

(Repost) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education IV-E: Wherein there is a Climate of Jeer

(Tier 1) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XXXIX: Wherein We’re Zapped by Creationist Crap

Fucking magnets, how do creationists think they work? We’re about to find out! Join me as we embark upon Science of the Physical Creation’s Chapter 15: Electrostatics and Magnetism. Hoo-boy!

They begin with a quote about Thor God:

Job 37:3: He directeth… his lightning unto the ends of the earth.

In context, the meaning is rather different. It’s not just lightning that God is directing: it’s his voice. This is Elihu telling Job how awesome and powerful God is, after God has completely fucked up Job’s life over a bet with Satan. For shame, SPC authors, muddying the clear meaning of God’s Word!

The SPC writers introduce the chapter’s subject matter by talking a bit about electrostatic phenomena like lightning and St. Elmo’s Fire. As always, I about choke myself to death laughing when creationists bring up superstition: it’s pretty rich to hear them spout off about how other people are just sooo superstitious, and immediately follow up with something like this: Continue reading “(Tier 1) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XXXIX: Wherein We’re Zapped by Creationist Crap”

(Tier 1) Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XXXIX: Wherein We’re Zapped by Creationist Crap

(Repost) “Another Body Added to the Scrap Heap” – Escape Chapter 18: Tammy’s Failed Rebellion

Merril just keeps getting worse. We’re about to see how he punishes rebellion in a wife, and I have to warn you, although there’s no physical violence, his verbal and emotional abuse is utterly horrible. There’s also medical neglect of a newborn. If you don’t have an abundance of spoons right now, you may want to wait until you do. And get everything out of reach that you don’t want to break, because you may be throwing things and screaming before this is over.

Content note: emotional and verbal abuse, medical neglect, childbirth, birth complications, infant illness, adult sexual abuse and manipulation

After six years of trying, Tammy finally gets pregnant. She is rather subdued about it at first, but when the time comes to deliver, she wants it to be a huge event. She invites all of her current sister wives, and all of her ex-sister wives from her marriage to Uncle Roy. Not everyone can make it – Carolyn’s so sick with her fourth pregnancy that she misses the birth, but a dozen or more people show up.

Now, remember that the women in the FLDS don’t give birth in hospitals, but in the little community clinic with a midwife. And they’re not prepared for the big emergencies. Unfortunately, Tammy’s baby gets stuck in the birth canal. And the only way the clinic has to deal with such an emergency is to move Tammy into various positions to try to free him. Continue reading “(Repost) “Another Body Added to the Scrap Heap” – Escape Chapter 18: Tammy’s Failed Rebellion”

(Repost) “Another Body Added to the Scrap Heap” – Escape Chapter 18: Tammy’s Failed Rebellion