La Bête Noire de la Véranda

Or, potentially, la pesadilla de la terraza.

Image shows Misha on the porch, biting a clear plastic strip I'm wriggling around for her.
Vicious wee beastie murtilates a plastic sheath.

Okay, she’s not actually the bane of my existence or a literal nightmare, but she likes to believe she is. And she spends most of her time on the porch these days.

I brought home a new chair for it yesterday, and as soon as I started removing the plastic wrapper bits guarding the legs, she zipped over and started doing battle with them. This is part of the reason we were late getting going – when you’re elderly felid is in a feisty mood, it’s necessary to humor her.

Since I’ve been home, she’s gotten more curious and playful. She’s also much more sociable and demanding – we ended the night outside, because she’s been getting really vocal about me joining her there. When I’m in the bedroom,  she’ll come back in and yowl from the doorway for a minute, giving me an impatient look. I think that meow traslates as, “You bloody fool, it’s effing hot, what are you doing in there? Get your ass out here!” Then she stalks out, occasionally coming back to repeat the demand. It was warm enough to acquiesce to her request, so I figured why not. We’ll have to do it more often. She likes having me out there.

She also likes to steal my cushion.

Misha is lying atop the cushion on my lounge chair, looking up beatifically.
The beast has got my lounge chair.

She’s definitely a beastie that likes comfort. And yelling at Mom. And occasionally viciously attacking. Her unpredictability is what makes her so much fun.

La Bête Noire de la Véranda
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Caption Kirby!

This is a true Captain Derp moment:

Image shows Kirby on the couch, hunched over with one hind leg sticking straight out, and a very startled, derpy look on his face.
Yer Werdz Heer

You know how adorable cats can be when they’re washing – all those limbs sticking out at odd angles, and the rather impressive contortion and so forth. So Kirby was being extra-adorbs, and I was snapping away, and then this moment happened. Great moments in cat derp, oy.

This photo begs to be turned into a meme. Meme-ify, my darlings!

Caption Kirby!

Spring Life with Kitties

Easing my way back from spring break. This week shall be a little light fare, in which I will share fun and pretty pictures with you, and link to other people’s hard work in order to provide a bit of substance. Sort of like taking you out for dinner, but serving dessert at home. I hope you’re in the mood for sweet, because I have definitely got it.

Spring’s finally arrived. There are dandelions blooming all over the place, and Luna’s enjoying her first spring with them. Continue reading “Spring Life with Kitties”

Spring Life with Kitties

This Never Happens

I had B over Friday night to cook up stuff for a work potluck, and we watched some animated Tick afterward. Misha’s usual thing is to come sit in my lap for a bit, which she did. She’d been in a good mood all day, so we decided to do an experiment: after she’d had enough, I gave B the chair and took the sofa. She refuses to sit on the sofa with me, so I wondered if she’d settle for someone else. Keep in mind, she’s not sat with another person since her daddy moved out back when she was about two or three. She bloody hates people. But she doesn’t hate B quite as much as she does others.

So after a bit, when she’d had a wander and wanted some warm, she returned to the living room, and saw B where she expected me. She stared at him for a bit. He put a hand down, and she fought with it, doing her yowl-hiss routine, but you could tell she was playing because she’d go just out of reach and then stop, waiting for him to lean down and grab her tail so she could swat him again. Then she did a circuit of the house, came back, eyeballed his lap uncertainly for a bit, while we patted his legs and did the “Come on up” routine that usually gets her to make up her mind when she’s considering cuddles with mommy. Continue reading “This Never Happens”

This Never Happens

Certified Heart-Thief Wilson. Plus, Misha Gets High

Brace yerselves. If you’re prone to screaming with incoherent adoration upon seeing a kitten, please let all pets, small children, people with fragile ears and/or states of being, and unsuspecting significant others know that noise is about to happen. Move breakable things away from the portions of the area around your computer or other device which may be clutched in a convulsive ecstasy. By clicking through to this post, you agree to hold ETEV harmless from any and all damages resulting from your viewing of this kitten.

Ready? Go meet Shelli’s new bebbe, Wilson. Continue reading “Certified Heart-Thief Wilson. Plus, Misha Gets High”

Certified Heart-Thief Wilson. Plus, Misha Gets High

I Return Bearing Cats

Well, that break lasted longer than expected. Pockets. You can never have too many pockets. And zippers. Still working on it, but it’s time to get back to writing. Thank you for waiting patiently. In return, I have brought you kittehs.

One of the crafty little projects I’ve engaged in this week is kitty toys. I combined feathers and string and bells into creations certain to delight felids of all ages. Well, except for 18 year-old esplode-a-kitties who look upon your efforts with utmost disdain. Misha isn’t a fan of bells, it would seem. No matter. Luna is. Luna leapt upon the couch as I sat down to begin, dove into the feathers, batted the string, rang a few bells, and generally went into contortions of excitement. She could hardly believe her evening had been filled with delights beyond the fondest kittenhood dreams. Eventually, she settled beside the bag of feathers, watching rapt as I finished her new toy. Then we wrapped the string around a chair arm and let her have her way with it. Continue reading “I Return Bearing Cats”

I Return Bearing Cats

Sooooo Tired…. A Kitten-Photo Essay

Don’t get the wrong impression from the following photos. Yes, there was much sleeping. But there was also quite a bit of playing. It’s just that after all the playing (and a bit o’ research), I’m with Luna: sooooo tired. So we are exploring that theme.

You know how kittens are. Little packets of energy moving at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light one minute, dead to the universe the next. She’d been playing before I got there today, and was thus passed out upon my arrival. Adorably, of course! Continue reading “Sooooo Tired…. A Kitten-Photo Essay”

Sooooo Tired…. A Kitten-Photo Essay

Your Weekly Dose of Excruciating Cute

Just in time for Caturday! I took Friday off, so I got to spend most of the day with Luna, Kirby and B. The household has acquired a cat tree, which both kittehs adore. When I got there, they were both in the top tray, and Luna was giving Kirby a bath.

Givin' big brudder a wash.
Givin’ big brudder a wash.

She’s getting this washing thing figured out, although I’m told she currently sees this as a bit competitive. If Kirby tries to bathe her, she believes they’re playing a game, and tries to one-up him. Can’t wait to see that!

Gotta get behind the ears.
Gotta get behind the ears.

So of course that was freakin’ adorable, and then Kirby woke up. Continue reading “Your Weekly Dose of Excruciating Cute”

Your Weekly Dose of Excruciating Cute

In Which The Cat Is Not Amused

So I did some mad cleaning, the kind you do when you’re disgusted with life, the Universe and everything, and decide to take it out on your poor innocent apartment. Misha slept happily through most of it, except for those bits where she stirred to come snigger at me whilst I was down on my knees scrubbing the linoleum. But there’s one thing guaranteed to wake her up, and that’s Mommy sprinkling carpet freshener around.

Kitteh sez "Whut?"
Kitteh sez “Whut?”

She’s learned that carpet freshener means the icky evil vacuum cleaner’s about to be busted out, and nothing pisses her off more than the vacuum. Well, guests. She despises those. And dogs. And other cats. Okay, lots of things piss her off more than the vacuum cleaner, but it wins when we’re alone together.

What is the meaning of this outrageous conduct?
What is the meaning of this outrageous conduct?

So she gave me and the carpet freshener a sustained glare. I found it hilarious, so of course I photographed it. Besides, the light from the window was just right for her gorgeous green eyes.

She might be going a bit deaf, or she’s just getting obstinate in her old age, but when I switched on the evil icky vacuum cleaner, she just gave me another outraged glare, and then determinedly pretended to sleep rather than running away like she normally does. Then again, it could be her insecurity issues surrounding her pillow. Ever since a friend interfered with her enjoyment of it, she’s mostly kept herself planted upon it. Especially when people come by. Except for that one time the other morning when I was trying to sleep in, and she was trying to encourage me to embrace the new day by hurking up a hairball loudly a few feet away, and then a bit later, tearing up and down the house, then pausing to yowl loudly in my ear, by way of announcing she needed to poop.

She is, in fact, the reason I never found myself tempted to have children. Whyever do you ask?

If anyone can think of what sort of geology she’s illustrating in the photos above, I shall publish them on Geokittehs and credit you. Fame will be yours. Alas, not fortune. Sorry.

In Which The Cat Is Not Amused

My Cat Wanted Me to Tell You This

Message from homicidal felid as follows:

aWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWA

Don’t ask me what it’s supposed to mean. I haven’t a bloody clue. Unless it’s to say she wants me to get off her computer so she can have it back…

Misha with her machine. She just lets me borrow it on occasion.
Misha with her machine. She just lets me borrow it on occasion.
My Cat Wanted Me to Tell You This