You Wanted to Know How Fascism Wins? Look In the Mirror

Donald Trump won the election, but he is not my president. George W. Bush was. Much as I hated him, much as I thought he was the worst thing that had happened to America in generations, at least he was a properly-elected (the second time), career politician who had some idea of how the republic worked and some shred of decency remaining.

Trump is none of those things.

I would not call Hitler Mark II my president. I will not call him president of my country. And if the Tea Party Republicans have shown me anything, it’s that democracy in this country is dead at the national level, and at many places at the local level, and that fire is needed to fight fire.

Right now, I’m in despair and devastated and staring into a future I doubt I can survive. But I am white and cis and hetero, and I will wield those privileges in defense of those less powerful than me for all I am worth. I live on the blue side of a blue state, and I will use that position to protect everyone I can.

Friends I love are going to die.

The things that were keeping them alive will be gutted.

Bigots who despise them have been emboldened enough to murder them without a twinge of conscience.

And you did that to them.

White folk. You did this. Cis folk. You did this. Bernie-or-busters, third party voters, people who didn’t vote because you couldn’t be arsed, people who thought all candidates were the same, people who voted for Trump because you’re either too white or too sexist or too racist or too selfish or too all-of-the-above to think it through, you did this. It’s all on you.

Those of you who thought racism was over and so didn’t make a peep when the Voting Rights Act got gutted, this is on you.

You ask how fascism rises. Look in the fucking mirror. Look. Look at yourself.

That is how.

You are the reason this happened.

So I will not be kind to you. I won’t be gracious in defeat. I won’t let bygones be bygones. I will absolutely let political differences end friendships, because you just voted to watch the world burn. You voted to murder the people I love. This isn’t the bullshit faux persecution that religious right cis straight white people whine about. This is queer folk, and trans folk, and disabled folk, and colored folk, and immigrant folk, and refugee folk, and poor folk, who will all die because you didn’t want to give up your dreams of domination.

I always wondered. I wondered how this happens. I wondered how the ordinary people chose good or evil. I don’t wonder anymore, because I am living it.


If you voted for Trump, understand that I hold you beneath contempt. If you suffer because of what you’ve unleashed, I will feel pity for you, but understand that you brought it on yourself. If you voted for Trump, we are through. You have no place in my life. You are vile. You’re beneath contempt. I never want to see you. I never want to speak to you. I want you out of my life, permanently. I will not seek to take away your rights, but I hope that this decision ends up haunting you. I hope you end up unable to sleep at night. You shouldn’t be able to rest easy after what you have done.

If you voted for Trump, you are not now and never were a friend of mine. Until you show your remorse for that vote and do everything in your power to reverse the damage, you are not someone I can count as a neighbor, much less a friend.


To anyone sharing that horrible don’t gloat/don’t despair meme: Fuck that.

This was not an ordinary election. Half of this country just voted for a fascist rapist who has emboldened and enabled people who will literally kill the people I love most in this world. I can’t with the cumbaya messages. No matter how long we’ve been friends, no matter how much I love you, I will unfriend you if I see that shit.

We lost because not enough people took the threat seriously.

We lost because we didn’t stand strong enough against hate.

I am going to lose friends. They are going to die of preventable illnesses and hate crimes and war, and you are telling me to treat this like just another election, to embrace those who allowed it to happen?


When you’re ready to admit white America is horrifically wrong and it’s our responsibility to condemn the people who prop up hate, when you’re ready to do the hard work of dismantling the power structures that prop up American fascists and the Republicans who are too greedy for power to denounce them, then you can be my friend again.

Until then, no.


If you voted 3rd party, I can’t have you in my life right now. Don’t speak to me. Don’t tell me you’re sorry, or that you screwed up. I will not absolve you. I cannot comfort you.

You have done untold damage to vulnerable people. You’ve killed the progress we’ve made on queer rights, minority rights, trans rights, healthcare, the economy…. You have handed the Supreme Court to people who will make Citizens United look progressive.

Look in the mirror. Look. You wanted to know what kind of people would ever enable Nazis. Now you know. You’re looking at them.

If there’s any decency left in you, you’ll spend the next four years doing everything in your power to help the people you just crushed. You’ll donate to progressive causes. You’ll vote for the most progressive viable candidate in every election. You’ll do everything in your power to oppose Trump. You’ll do absolutely everything you can to mitigate the damage. If you do those things, I’ll be working alongside you.

But don’t try to be my friend. We are not friends. Not anymore.


My friends who did not ask for this shitshow and who stand to be harmed because of it: I’m here. I’m with you. I love you.

I’m devastated and outraged and terrified, but I won’t give in to the despair.

We are going to carry each other. Somehow. We are going to get through this somehow.

We are going to find our strength. We have each other. We haven’t lost everything.

I love you, and I’m here, and we are going to find our way through this.

To the rest of the world: I’m so sorry so many people in my country are such utter shit.

If you are one of the people who is in despair, who can’t see life after this, please reach out for help. I understand, I do. I’m right there with you. But we need to try to hold on, because if there’s going to be any future worth having, we’re the ones who have to fight for it.

Call or text for help.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)


Text “GO” to 741741

Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860

Trevor Lifeline for LGBT and Questioning folks: 866-488-7386

Chat: Available 7 days a week between 3:00pm – 9:00pm ET/12:00pm – 6:00pm PT

Text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available on Thursdays and Fridays between 4:00pm – 8:00pm EST/1:00pm – 5:00pm PT

The majority of our fellow Americans just told us exactly what they think of us. They want us gone. They want us suppressed or dead.

Let’s not give them that satisfaction.

Let’s hold on through these next years, and let’s make them suffer fear and despair as we rise again.

We will overcome. My friends. We will. We must. Because there are going to be a hell of a lot of dead that we are living for.

We will make our voices heard.

Image is art from Les Miserables, showing people in silhouette standing on a barricade, with one flying a huge red flag. Caption says, Do you hear the people sing?

You Wanted to Know How Fascism Wins? Look In the Mirror

6 thoughts on “You Wanted to Know How Fascism Wins? Look In the Mirror

  1. 1

    Yeah? I voted against Ronald Reagan four times — twice for governor of CA, twice for president. Four times that I had to look around on a Wednesday morning and ask myself, “Is this my planet? Who are these people?”

    I got to vote against Richard Nixon twice. Two more Wednesdays where I felt utterly alienated from the country that was supposedly mine. Twice against the obviously and demonstrably incompetent George Bush; two more Wednesdays when it was ground into me that I don’t belong here, surrounded by selfish, short-sighted, cowardly, self-deluding fools who own the franchise on the word “normal”.

    But this one’s the worst. And I’m too old. I just want out. It’s not my planet and never was.

  2. 2

    I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here. I’ve been lurking more than I wanted to, and my RSS reader gagged and choked a couple of months back making it necessary to rebuild my feed collection, but I’ve finally started doing that. I saw that you reshared my FB post yesterday, but didn’t get to see your reshare before the OP was deleted and took everything else with it — my text, replies, and reshares (WTF, FB).

    Some relevant details:

    All three of the voting-age people here at Hypertwin Manor in Durham, NC (plus one off at Warren Wilson College) voted for Clinton yesterday. The youngest has been repeatedly furious that he can’t vote until next year, because he was also a firm Trump opponent, known at school for being outspoken on the subject. He’s expecting to have a rough day at school today.

    I’m now (finally!) physically transitioning to female — 16 weeks on HRT, other things in progress — and it is going well. The election results will not change that. I haven’t personally witnessed anything or heard of any incidents around here that make me worry for my safety; we live in a nice part of a liberal/progressive metro area — so I also have privilege, not to mention web servers and sites, and will use all of that to help others however I can.


  3. rq

    I cried and I’m neither USAmerican nor particularly oppressed. Still in shock.
    *hugs* to you; I’m having another drink.

  4. 6

    The world is watching, horror-struck mostly. The good people anyhow.

    You aren’t forgotten, we’re cheering you on.

    And if you ever need to crash here in Oz, you will always have be welcomed by me.

    Feel so helpless and powerless right now and so shocked and grieving. USA W.T.F.?!

    Four years now – or will it be? Hate hasn’t won yet. Won’t win if I have anything to say about it.

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