I’ll be you never looked at those utterly awful cartoons from the ACE PACEs and thought something wonderful could come of them, did you? I mean, honestly. They’re painful.
But I’ve had the great good fortune to be introduced to an incredible group of ACE survivors, one of whom is putting a splendid new spin on these awful cartoons. Say hello to the adventures of Totally Hetero Pudge and Ronny by FeezlFuzzl. Here is an excerpt sure to change your entire way of thinking about pious Pudge McMercy and bad boy Ronny Vain.
Pudge stood up, trying to see the driver. But the rain pouring off the windshield made it difficult to see inside. The engine died, the door opened, and a tall, lanky young man stepped out. He had long black hair, wore a black leather jacket, and dirty jeans. There was something vaguely familiar about the jaunty, slightly cocky way he walked…
“Hey, buddy, looks like you could use some help,” the man began, then stopped, cocking his head. “Pudge?” he asked. “Pudge McMercy?”
“Yes…?” Pudge answered.
“It’s me, Ronny! We grew up together, remember? We knew each other as kids.”
Yes, he remembered Ronny–all too well. Pudge’s heart sank; he had thought it couldn’t get any worse.
“Ronny!” he smiled, in spite of himself. “How are you, Ronny?”
“Great. Doesn’t look like you’re doing too hot, though,” he nodded towards Pudge’s car, a small red Honda about ten years old. It was one of the older cars in the church parking lot, but was all Pudge could afford.
“Oh, yeah, I, um…that’s nothing. I’ll have the tire changed in a minute,” he lied. He wasn’t about to let Ronny Vain see him try and fail to change a tire. “Don’t worry about me,” he added.
“What are gonna do, pray the tire off?” Ronny asked quickly, without apparent malice. “I do this all the time, let me,” Ronny shrugged, pushing past him.
“But…I…it’s…” Pudge tried to protest, but Ronny was already at work, cracking the bolts with relative ease. What was happening here? Pudge was supposed to minister to people like Ronny, not the other way around.
“Where’s the hubcap?” Ronny looked up, water streaming off his long black locks. Pudge barely heard him, somehow fixated upon the tiny water droplets clinging to Ronny’s long, dark eyelashes.
I died a little bit of overwhelming joy when I read that first tale, I admit it. Ronny’s always been one of my ultimate favorite characters, and I had a soft spot for poor picked-upon Pudge, and to see them blossoming like this just grows my heart several entire sizes.
Hopefully, this unfolding story will help you get through those dark moments when it seems ACE is sucking your soul out through your nostrils and running it through a blender before setting the whole thing on fire. At least one good thing has come from those awful cartoons. And the survivors of ACE are one amazing, creative bunch. Thank you, FeezlFuzzl, for giving us such a wonderful tale!