Dear “Religious Liberty” Brigade: You’ve Lost. You’ve Always Lost

I’m so sick of this script:

“Traditional marriage and religious liberty are under attack all across the nation,” writes former Harris County GOP Chair Jared Woodfill.

No, Jared and all the other crybaby cons. Not a bit of it. Traditional marriage is just being asked to share its sandbox with others. It gets to keep all its toys. It’s still got plenty of room to play. Nobody’s kicking sand in its eyes, or telling it to go home, or borrowing its bucket and shovel and not giving them back. If traditional marriage can’t play nicely with the other kids, that’s its problem, not theirs. It can learn to share the space, or go home to sulk, but nobody’s attacking it.

Religious liberty is a fucking bully, and if it doesn’t stop kicking the other faiths and philosophies, it’s going to be sent to detention. It doesn’t get to have everything its own way no matter how much it insists. It can be as much of an asshole it likes in its own clubhouses, it can think whatever it wants, and it can even say what it wants in most situations – but when it’s out in public, it has to treat everyone else with respect. I’m sorry that’s so hard for it. Maybe it should consider doing some personal growth. It managed to grow past slavery. Eventually. After a long, bitter tantrum.

I’m entirely sick of you bigots screaming and crying because some folks you don’t like got to share the wedding cake. You’re like those spoiled little brats who ruined other kids’ birthday parties because they weren’t getting all the attention and presents. And unlike the kids who grow out of their selfish phase, you end up being those smug, self-important little assholes who gleefully police everyone’s lawn at the homeowners association meetings, and ostentatiously wash your expensive new car three times a weekend and at least two evenings a week, even during a drought, because you have a deep-seated need to show everyone else how much better you are. You’re the ones who love to stage-whisper nasty rumors about other people, especially those people, and don’t much care if what you’re saying is true just so long as it tickles your poisoned little heart.

But you’ve lost. And you’re going to have to face up to the fact you’ve lost. There are no do-overs. There are no more games. The final scores are in, and all you’re doing is throwing a tantrum on the field, trying to block the other team from going to the locker room while bawling at the refs and other coaches that it isn’t fair, and you did too win, and they have to change the final score. But they won’t, cuz you’ve lost. You’ve always lost. Take your fucking ball, go back to your churches, and pretend all you like that you actually won. But you’re not going to be allowed to prevent everyone else from playing the game anymore.

You’re going to have to face the consequences if you want to keep acting like a complete shit in public. That’s the cost of your bigoted little faith. It’s just too damned bad if that makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t want to play with others, that’s your right – but you don’t get to prevent everyone else from having a great time anymore.

Image shows a gray and white kitty sitting at a table with its head tilted up and eyes closed in a very smug expression. Caption says, "I believe in freedom of religion. Feel free to worship me all you want.

And I know that, in five or ten or twenty or a hundred years, you’re going to come back claiming you were for the winning position the whole time. You’ll pretend that it was your religion that pointed the way for same-sex couples to get legal recognition for their marriages, or for transgender folk to be allowed to live their lives as the gender they identify with, free from harm and welcome to use the bathroom that most suits their needs. You’ll tell everyone that you were there the whole time, marching in all the Pride parades, holding the banners, and shouting slogans at pro-LGBT rights rallies. Can we just skip the interim bigotry and get right on to those days where you pretend to be the Big LGBT-Rights Hero? Cuz I know you’ll still be bigoted little shits, but at least you’ll be deeply ashamed to publicly admit it, and that would spare at least a little of the pain and suffering you put innocent people through right now.

Just do whatever it takes to stop being the despicable little assholes you currently are, please. It’s time for you to realize that your religious liberty ends where the human rights of others begin.

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Dear “Religious Liberty” Brigade: You’ve Lost. You’ve Always Lost
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4 thoughts on “Dear “Religious Liberty” Brigade: You’ve Lost. You’ve Always Lost

  1. 3

    For supposedly deeply spiritual people, they’re mighty obsessed with the materialistic aspects of life.

    But the material is a test arbitrated by the Almighty Administrator! Or something.

  2. 4

    They aren’t even the team that lost the game and are now throwing a tantrum. They are the team that finally, after years and years of in depth investigation, got suspended from the season mid-way through for nepotism, bad sportsmanship, gambling, and bribery, and now they’ve shown up at another team’s game, stormed the field, and are demanding the refs make the calls they damn well paid for because that’s the way it’s always been.

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