It’s already been a long day, people, and it ain’t nearly over. I had to get up lots earlier than I’ve been used to, cuz B and I went to see Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. It’s very definitely the kind of movie that seems like a bunch of Hollywood hacks threw a ton of spy movie scripts into an industrial blender and pasted together randomly-selected bits of the results. It also sounds like it was written by stoned teenagers. The beginning is trying very hard to be clever, but ends up being flat slapstick that might have been hilarious if we’d had more time to get drunk first. Tom Cruise seems asleep at the switch for most of the movie. About the only good parts (I’ll save the best for last) are the dude who plays Benji, who has several good moments and also a fascinating accent, and of course Ving Rhames as Luther. It was tough taking Alec Baldwin seriously as a hard-ass CIA director type person, and zomg, some of the cheese that poor man had to deliver with intense serious-face. And I could not think of Jeremy Renner as anything other than Hawkeye. It made it hard to focus on what his character was supposed to be, especially since that character did not become cool until at least halfway through the movie.
But the best, only redeeming actor was Rebecca Ferguson, who played a British secret service agent, and was smashing in that role, and wasn’t overly-sexualized (granted, there were a few gratuitous bikini moments, but remarkably restrained considering the fact that it seemed like a bunch of Bond fanboys were in charge of the script). She was even allowed to kick serious ass. Sometimes alone! Without wearing high heels! In fact, in one escape scene, she makes Tom Cruise take off her very fancy, very stiletto shoes. She’s not used as the hero’s motivation. She’s not the one who ends up needing to be rescued. She’s not hopelessly fawning over him, or there to fuck him, or anything like that. She’s allowed to be an intriguing, well-developed character in her own right, and I loved her dearly, and she is now my hero instead of Ethan Hunt. I want to see a new M:I franchise that has her as the leading role. Please let Ilsa Faust take over for him, and let Tom Cruise go off and do his Scientology shit somewhere in peace, unless he leaves the church and starts doing tell-all interviews, in which case yay!
Anyway. Rebecca Ferguson’s character gets you through the dull bits, and then the last half hour or so is actually really intense and good, and OMG YOU GUYS THE BIKES. Beautiful bikes. Beautiful sleek black powerful motorcycles in delicious chase scenes. B knows what they are and told me, but I only remember they’re top-of-the-line BMW something-or-others and they are beautiful. You can buy me one if you want.
So that was nice, and then we went to his place, and we played with kitties, and watched some MMA, and it was good. We’re going to chill together on Sunday, too, so we can finish our fights. I’m also going walkies with my Funny Diva soon, and then there’s the dog what’s needing a good run through a park soon, so my social life and exercise scheme are set for the week.
This is where I should mention that the Snohomish Pumpkin Hurl and Medieval Faire is coming up on September 12-13th, and you should totally arrange to be there with me. You might even get to meet my housemate who plays a sweet sax if you join us on Saturday. And you’ll get to see Trebuchet hurl pumpkins from his very own trebuchets. There will also be jousting, and hopefully black powder cannons, and the best fucking jerky from anywhere, including some stuff a lot more exotic than beef. And kettle corn popped fresh right there. And costumes and stuff. You should totally come if you’re in the area.
So another thing I did today was get my housemate who plays sax to sign on as one of my beta readers for my Mount St. Helens guidebook. Do you want to be a beta reader? Sign up in the comments, and I’ll choose a lucky few of you to read.
And I also went to the fabric store. I was a good girl and only bought what I came there for, which was a roll of my favorite magic tape. Stuff dissolves in the wash, you can sew through it, and it makes doing tight fiddly seams so easy. But I also went and looked through the fabrics because I cannot help myself. They now carry cuddle bubble fleece in Seahawks colors! If you’ve never felt cuddle bubble, let’s just say that it’s like stroking the softest baby bunny ever. I make scarves out of this stuff that are so warm and snuggly that you never want summer to come. If you want me to make you a Seahawks-colored scarf, I can do that! It is large and wonderful and completely hand-sewn. They’d be worth about $50, but since you are my readers and I love you, I’ll sew you one for $35. Let me know if you want, and we will arrange. Other team colors may be available, inquire within.
They also had a beautiful gauzy fabric on clearance that is the Seahawks blue, or close enough, and there are Seahawks-green daisies available through Amazon, so I could make this amazing scarf:
in those colors. Just let me know quickly if you’re interested, because that fabric won’t be there long. Again, if you have another color scheme you’d rather, tell me what ’tis and I shall see if I can oblige. And we’ll call this one $35 as well, even though it takes about six thousand years to sew each of those petals in place.(I should add that making these will not cut into my book-writing time. I sew while I read anyway. If I’m not making you lot scarves, I will be making something else, so purchase secure in the knowledge that you won’t be delaying publication!)
I am now going to go write up another chapter of Escape so this computer can sit quietly and ponder its many failings. I meant to make this brief and have the Escape review for you tonight, but this machine kept locking up and having to be rebooted. It is a bad, bad computer.
Hopefully tomorrow, then.