Rogue Nation Movie Review! Custom Scarves! And Pumpkin Hurling!

It’s already been a long day, people, and it ain’t nearly over. I had to get up lots earlier than I’ve been used to, cuz B and I went to see Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. It’s very definitely the kind of movie that seems like a bunch of Hollywood hacks threw a ton of spy movie scripts into an industrial blender and pasted together randomly-selected bits of the results. It also sounds like it was written by stoned teenagers. The beginning is trying very hard to be clever, but ends up being flat slapstick that might have been hilarious if we’d had more time to get drunk first. Tom Cruise seems asleep at the switch for most of the movie. About the only good parts (I’ll save the best for last) are the dude who plays Benji, who has several good moments and also a fascinating accent, and of course Ving Rhames as Luther. It was tough taking Alec Baldwin seriously as a hard-ass CIA director type person, and zomg, some of the cheese that poor man had to deliver with intense serious-face. And I could not think of Jeremy Renner as anything other than Hawkeye. It made it hard to focus on what his character was supposed to be, especially since that character did not become cool until at least halfway through the movie.

But the best, only redeeming actor was Rebecca Ferguson, who played a British secret service agent, and was smashing in that role, and wasn’t overly-sexualized (granted, there were a few gratuitous bikini moments, but remarkably restrained considering the fact that it seemed like a bunch of Bond fanboys were in charge of the script). She was even allowed to kick serious ass. Sometimes alone! Without wearing high heels! In fact, in one escape scene, she makes Tom Cruise take off her very fancy, very stiletto shoes. She’s not used as the hero’s motivation. She’s not the one who ends up needing to be rescued. She’s not hopelessly fawning over him, or there to fuck him, or anything like that. She’s allowed to be an intriguing, well-developed character in her own right, and I loved her dearly, and she is now my hero instead of Ethan Hunt. I want to see a new M:I franchise that has her as the leading role. Please let Ilsa Faust take over for him, and let Tom Cruise go off and do his Scientology shit somewhere in peace, unless he leaves the church and starts doing tell-all interviews, in which case yay!

Anyway. Rebecca Ferguson’s character gets you through the dull bits, and then the last half hour or so is actually really intense and good, and OMG YOU GUYS THE BIKES. Beautiful bikes. Beautiful sleek black powerful motorcycles in delicious chase scenes. B knows what they are and told me, but I only remember they’re top-of-the-line BMW something-or-others and they are beautiful. You can buy me one if you want.

Promo poster for M:I - Rogue Nation. It's got Tom Cruise's head with sunglasses looking all broody, and Jeremy Renner in sunglasses all broody looking the other direction, and then in a diagonal line is Rebecca Ferguson, the dude who plays Benji, Ving Rhames, and Alec Baldwin. In a diagonal across the middle are an explosion and a couple of motorcycle chases, and then all the words saying to go see this movie at the bottom.

So that was nice, and then we went to his place, and we played with kitties, and watched some MMA, and it was good. We’re going to chill together on Sunday, too, so we can finish our fights. I’m also going walkies with my Funny Diva soon, and then there’s the dog what’s needing a good run through a park soon, so my social life and exercise scheme are set for the week.

This is where I should mention that the Snohomish Pumpkin Hurl and Medieval Faire is coming up on September 12-13th, and you should totally arrange to be there with me. You might even get to meet my housemate who plays a sweet sax if you join us on Saturday. And you’ll get to see Trebuchet hurl pumpkins from his very own trebuchets. There will also be jousting, and hopefully black powder cannons, and the best fucking jerky from anywhere, including some stuff a lot more exotic than beef. And kettle corn popped fresh right there. And costumes and stuff. You should totally come if you’re in the area.

So another thing I did today was get my housemate who plays sax to sign on as one of my beta readers for my Mount St. Helens guidebook. Do you want to be a beta reader? Sign up in the comments, and I’ll choose a lucky few of you to read.

And I also went to the fabric store. I was a good girl and only bought what I came there for, which was a roll of my favorite magic tape. Stuff dissolves in the wash, you can sew through it, and it makes doing tight fiddly seams so easy. But I also went and looked through the fabrics because I cannot help myself. They now carry cuddle bubble fleece in Seahawks colors! If you’ve never felt cuddle bubble, let’s just say that it’s like stroking the softest baby bunny ever. I make scarves out of this stuff that are so warm and snuggly that you never want summer to come. If you want me to make you a Seahawks-colored scarf, I can do that! It is large and wonderful and completely hand-sewn. They’d be worth about $50, but since you are my readers and I love you, I’ll sew you one for $35. Let me know if you want, and we will arrange. Other team colors may be available, inquire within.

They also had a beautiful gauzy fabric on clearance that is the Seahawks blue, or close enough, and there are Seahawks-green daisies available through Amazon, so I could make this amazing scarf:

Image shows a purple scarf whose panels are held together with daisy chains wrapped around In the Path of Destruction.
The most labor-intensive scarf I’ve ever made posing with a very awesome book.

in those colors. Just let me know quickly if you’re interested, because that fabric won’t be there long. Again, if you have another color scheme you’d rather, tell me what ’tis and I shall see if I can oblige. And we’ll call this one $35 as well, even though it takes about six thousand years to sew each of those petals in place.(I should add that making these will not cut into my book-writing time. I sew while I read anyway. If I’m not making you lot scarves, I will be making something else, so purchase secure in the knowledge that you won’t be delaying publication!)

I am now going to go write up another chapter of Escape so this computer can sit quietly and ponder its many failings. I meant to make this brief and have the Escape review for you tonight, but this machine kept locking up and having to be rebooted. It is a bad, bad computer.

Hopefully tomorrow, then.

Rogue Nation Movie Review! Custom Scarves! And Pumpkin Hurling!

5 thoughts on “Rogue Nation Movie Review! Custom Scarves! And Pumpkin Hurling!

  1. 1

    Thanks for the plug, Dana! See you there. I’ve actually got the machine pretty much ready two weeks ahead of schedule. Now I need to see about getting the second one in shape so I can fill in for the lack of entrants.

    I’m very glad you have stayed friends with B. That has to make the breakup much easier.

  2. 3

    I will be happy to be a beta reader. You don’t even have to make me a Seahawks-colored something or other. If you don’t make me two, I’ll also do proofreading (I used to work as a proofreader).

  3. 4

    Me too, for the beta reading. I’m a poorly educated geology buff, and have little to brag about for proofreading, copy editing or reading skills. Come to think of it, I’m not very persuasive either. But I did travel to Windy Ridge, loved to hate it, and am looking forward to getting stuck in even more scenic locations (my next two summers are booked).

    All I ask in return is nothing in Seahawks colors. They are ubiquitous, like a reprise of my excitement over olive drab through my military career.

  4. 5

    Oh, how I wish I were still RVing and on the west coast so I could trundle my vintage Toyota RV up to the pumpkin-hurling fest! What fun it would be. Sigh.

    As to the beta-reader thingy: I’m an outstanding proofreader/copy editor and a not-half-bad editor (in the biz for over 20 years), I’m not a good beta reader. Even though I was an English Lit major, my critical skills have atrophied over the intervening years, so now I either love it or hate it (a book, I mean) and can muster some reasons why. Not enough to be a good beta reader, I think.

    I have no idea what Seahawk colors are (that a sports team, right? heh) but the scarves sound lovely.

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