Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Craven Hubbies Edition

I’m about a third of the way through Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus, and I am already longing for the days of Genesis. I mean, God was still a complete asshole, and the people were mostly awful, but at least God wasn’t quite so sadistic. He was still a complete bully who delights in others’ pain, but in Exodus, he’s really refined his tormenting technique. And yet, for all the blood and gore and evil, it’s a hideously boring book in a lot of places. So I’ve got a job o’ work ahead of me, not merely stripping off God’s mask to reveal the shitlord beneath, but also stripping out the boring bits.

One thing Exodus is mercifully free of is cowardly husbands. You know the ones. Remember Abraham, who tried to pass Sarah off as his sister? Twice? And then it turns out that she is his sister! He married his half-sister. Ew. And then he was too much of a coward to stand up to other men, but made her pretend to be unmarried so the horny dudes would creep on her without trying to kill him. What a mensch. Continue reading “Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Craven Hubbies Edition”

Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Craven Hubbies Edition
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You All Are Bloody Amazing!

So a week ago, I came to you, hat in hand, begging for some help to keep me and my elderly kitty from ending up living in a Honda Civic. I mean, it’s a reasonably nice car, but a little cramped and not at all secure. I didn’t really expect much, but hoped for enough to pay for an extended-stay hotel room while I looked for work.

Thanks to your efforts, I have some leads on great places to live, and I can continue writing full-time this summer. You’re that incredible! Continue reading “You All Are Bloody Amazing!”

You All Are Bloody Amazing!

Mystery Flora: Sweetly Symmetrical

When it’s hot in the Pacific Northwest, one has a few options. There are a few restaurants, businesses, and entertainment facilities that have air conditioning. There’s the Sound, which is good and cold and has a few nice beaches. And there’s the mountains, with gorgeous streams cascading down them, cooling the place off on the way.

It got to be around 90 on Monday, so B and I headed into the Cascades. This is one of the best times of year to go, because all of the green growing things are busy being pretty. Such as these little delights from Deception Falls: Continue reading “Mystery Flora: Sweetly Symmetrical”

Mystery Flora: Sweetly Symmetrical

Damn Right We Did! Women, Civilization-Building, and Men in Denial

Entitled males love to howl about how penis-bearing people did all the hard work creating civilization. It became so much of a trope that David Futrelle renamed his blog after one of their cries: “We hunted the mammoth for you!” To hear men (especially white European males who haven’t done shit with their own lives) tell it, the only people who did anything noteworthy in the entire history of the world had dangly bits between their legs.

After yet another men-did-it-all screed, Rubyyogi had enough, and unleashed some truth upon them: Continue reading “Damn Right We Did! Women, Civilization-Building, and Men in Denial”

Damn Right We Did! Women, Civilization-Building, and Men in Denial

Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XII: Wherein We are Made Seasick

After the extraordinary nonsense of Earth Science 4th Edition’s last chapter, I’m fervently hoping this one is a bit less stuffed with inanity. Our heads and desks all could use the break.

Refreshingly, we begin with an ecowarrior-worthy bit on The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Ocean currents, we’re told, gather our plastic waste and concentrate it in an area of the Pacific Ocean that “could be larger than Texas!” Bad for the environment, bad for animals, they say, without pretending there’s anything good about it. It’s ES4 at its actual best. Yeah, the kids reading this textbook will end up desperately ignorant about science, but at least they won’t end up thinking pollution is a glory unto God. They may even agree to help us preserve the planet, as long as that doesn’t require responsible birth control.

Image shows Twilight Sparkle shrugging. Caption says, "Never know, could happen"

Look, I’ll take what positives I can get. Continue reading “Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XII: Wherein We are Made Seasick”

Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education XII: Wherein We are Made Seasick

Teenagers Stampede to Avoid Marriage – Escape Chapter 4: “New Wife, New Mother”

This chapter of Escape is a welcome break from the last. It’s practically sunshine and puppies in comparison, although there’s still plenty to be horrified by.

When you hear the words “new wife, new mother,” do you immediately think of a newlywed who’s just had her first child? Then you’re probably not FLDS. In this chapter title, Carolyn’s talking about her dad, Arthur, getting another wife, who will become Carolyn and her siblings’ new mother. Fortunately, the FLDS prophet has paired her dad with a woman everyone already likes: their mom’s niece Rosie.

Yep. Niece. Carolyn tells us that it’s “not at all unusual for sisters to be married to the same husband, and it was certainly not unusual for a niece to share a husband with her aunt.” Oof. We also learn that some men never get a second wife. Those who do generally wait 10-15 years after their first one. The more wives a man has, the more powerful he is.

Lovely. Continue reading “Teenagers Stampede to Avoid Marriage – Escape Chapter 4: “New Wife, New Mother””

Teenagers Stampede to Avoid Marriage – Escape Chapter 4: “New Wife, New Mother”

Please Help Dana Avoid Becoming Homeless

I knew I was taking risks when I quit my job and pursued writing full time. Blogging doesn’t pay much, and getting books written and published takes time. I knew a year probably wouldn’t be enough to become self-sufficient, but would give me time to get things going. Then I could get a part-time job at the end of my year to make up any shortfalls, and wouldn’t have to go begging money from my readers. I’d have a book or two out, and have more started, and probably wouldn’t have to do the day job thing forever. Simple!

My plans were disrupted a bit last fall, when I came within spitting distance of dying from sepsis. It took a while to recover, and my funds took a hit. But I still had things under control. I struggled with the typical winter-spring depression, but kept plugging away at the writing, and got me first book released. Everything was going fine – until my apartment complex decided not to renew my lease.

They’re kicking me out so they can remodel. I asked for more time, and got until the end of this month. Then I’m sans home.

Moving into another unit here would be prohibitively expensive. It’s not going to be possible to find another apartment without a steady income considerably larger than the present unstable one. So I’m currently job hunting (if you’ve been wanting desperately to hire me, thinking I’d be a perfect fit for your Seattle-area company, now’s the time!). But I won’t have a job soon enough to save up the extra funds I’ll need for a move. I won’t be able to find an apartment quickly enough, either. B’s house doesn’t have room for me to move in, and it’s not possible for him to abandon his brothers.

So I need your help pretty badly. Continue reading “Please Help Dana Avoid Becoming Homeless”

Please Help Dana Avoid Becoming Homeless

Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Happy Harlot’s Edition

Have I mentioned that Tamar in Genesis is one of my favorite Bible characters so far?

I tell the full story in Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. I: Genesis. But I’ll sum up for ye: Here’s this woman in a patriarchal society, where your value as a female is measured by motherhood. Her first husband gets murdered by God. So, based on the traditions of the time, her father-in-law Judah orders her brother-in-law to step up, do his duty, and knock her up. Only, any resulting children would be considered his dead brother’s, not his, so while he’s happy to use her as a masturbation device, he pulls out so he won’t get her pregnant. God’s quite irate over the wasting sperm thing, so he strikes that dude dead. Now all that’s left is a really young third bro-in-law, so Judah tells Tamar she’s just gonna have to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

When it becomes clear that Judah’s never going to marry her to his son like he promised, Tamar takes matters into her own hands. She waits until Judah’s gone off to deal with his flocks, then cosplays a prostitute and waits by the road. Continue reading “Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Happy Harlot’s Edition”

Really Terrible Bible Inspirations: Happy Harlot’s Edition

Yellow-Bellied Varmints! I Mean, Marmots!

Our trip out to Grand Coulee in early May was filled with wonderful wild animals. I showed you the cute fuzzy critter we saw at Frenchman Coulee, and you were able to identify it as a yellow-bellied marmot. They’re so adorable! I kinda wish I could keep one as a pet, but since they’re not domesticated, it’s best to leave them out in the wild.

Turns out they don’t actually gang up on people. I knew danielwilliams was telling us a big ol’ fib. But it was absolutely in the finest tradition of Old West tall tales, so I shall share it here:

Best you didn’t approach… the yellow-bellied marmot is called such because it uses cowardly hunting tactics, luring prey in with adorableness and then the rest of the pride erupts from the ground swarming the victim until nothing is left.

Nicely done, sir!

B and I didn’t think we’d ever see one again, but when we dropped by Summer Falls, suddenly they were everywhere. I spotted this one first, looking yellow-bellied indeed. Well, at least quite cautious. Continue reading “Yellow-Bellied Varmints! I Mean, Marmots!”

Yellow-Bellied Varmints! I Mean, Marmots!

Unidentified Flying Dinosaur: That Little Red-Headed Woodpecker

There was one afternoon in April that was rather astonishing. B and I were taking a leisurely walk along North Creek behind the ballfields, and we heard a woodpecker. Next thing we knew, the trees were full of them. A veritable cloud of woodpeckers seemed to fly by and select individual trees. They took me by surprise, and I wasn’t able to photograph them all. But one landed close to us, and didn’t mind my antics, so I have that lovely little one, with video even!

Image shows a small woodpecker on the trunk of a white tree that has little holes drilled in. The woodpecker has its back to us. It has a brilliant red head, and a gray and black body with horizontal bars down its back and tail.
UFD I

I wish my brain could film what I see and download it direct to the computer, because none of these images of a single little woodpecker will live up to seeing so many swoop by. Still. Isn’t it wonderful?

Another image of the same woodpecker. It has turned its head slightly, and you can see its short, stout beak.
UFD II

I don’t recall having many woodpeckers in Arizona. I think I saw one maybe once or twice. They were rather exotic to me, and of course my understanding of them was filtered through Woody Woodpecker cartoons. Now that I’m here in Washington, I see quite a few different ones, and they’re all wonderful, and none of them have that bloody silly laugh.

The woodpecker has gone back to pecking. Image is zoomed out a bit, and from another angle, showing off the new green leaves and the blue sky forming the backdrop to our woodpecker.
UFD III

I’ve learned to listen for a rapid rata-ta-tat on tree trunks when I’m in the forest. But it hadn’t occurred to me to listen for it along the most populated part of North Creek! I’ve seen woodpeckers along the proper wetland portion, but this is just a narrow strip of water and greenery between commercial buildings and busy ballfields. It seems many of our native birds have adapted just fine to the presence of humans, and are happy to feast wherever, whenever, no matter who’s about.

Still, I don’t often catch woodpeckers along this portion. I’ve tried coming back around the same time of day, but no luck. I suppose they have habits I could suss out if I spent more time there.

Here’s our little darling figuring out what I’m up to before deciding I wasn’t likely to spoil its dinner, and then showing us why those trees have all those holes in their bark. Enjoy!

P.S. The title’s merely a play on Charlie Brown. These aren’t actually red-headed woodpeckers. I mean, they’re redheads, but not that kind. I wouldn’t give it away like that!

Unidentified Flying Dinosaur: That Little Red-Headed Woodpecker