Two Glittery Hoo-Ha’s in a Month? What Are You Trying to Tell Me, Universe?

Coinky-dinks are funny things. I didn’t think I’d ever come across glittery hoo-ha’s again outside of the Dogs and Goddesses deconstruction I’d got inadvertently sucked in to at Raven Wings. For those who are blissfully unaware of it, Dogs and Goddesses is a gawdawful romance book about a bunch of single women, their dogs, and some Mesopotamian goddess, plus a sexy god (of course), and a weird murderous priestess (ditto), and the sexy but assholish math professor (yep), and some other people I don’t even remember, because the bits Yami quoted were atrocious. There is a potion, and aphrodisiac cookies, and one of the ladies ends up with endless orgasm powers, and I just can’t with this.

Look, I only got involved in it because I was reading her This Present Darkness deconstruction. I will tell you about that book someday soon. Then you will understand why I enjoyed watching Yami savage it, and why I accidentally ended up reading a deconstruction of a really bizarre romance novel. Yami’s really damned good at deconstructions and I was powerless, okay?

Anyway. Goddesses. Dogs. And, toward the end the book, glittery hoo-ha’s.And I was like,

Image shows an orange cat with its mouth open like it's yelling. Caption says, "Oh HELL no!!"

And I was relieved when the book ended, figuring that would be the last of the glittery hoo-has’s, and I’d never have to deal with this ever again, but the universe was all like,

Image shows Rainbow Dash. Caption says LOL NOPE

This happened:

Some guy named William Lehman has written an essay, Destroy the myth, destroy the culture, that starts off with a reasonable premise and then goes totally off the rails, in an entertainingly oblivious way, and as it’s crashing, invents a new label: the “SJW Glittery hoo ha crowd”. I love it, even though I don’t have a hoo ha, glittery or otherwise. I’m still happy to be associated with glittery hoo has fighting for social justice.

I have a hoo-ha. It does not glitter. I don’t plan to vajazzle it, either. Ever. Okay, maybe when I’m an extremely old woman and I’m all like, “Fuck it! I do what I want, and what I want to do today is make my vagina sparkle!” At that point, it won’t matter if there’s a terrible mishap and it ends up damaged, because I won’t have to live with the results for decades. Until then, although I like glittery things, I will not be making my lady parts glitter.

However. Comma. I, too, will be happy to be associated with Glittery Hoo-Ha’s for Social Justice. And I may even go so far as to glitter my navel in solidarity.

Image shows a person's navel and belly, filled with glitter.
A glitter-coated navel by abriz44 (CC BY-SA 2.0) .

Do you think that’ll be glittery enough for now?

Two Glittery Hoo-Ha’s in a Month? What Are You Trying to Tell Me, Universe?

6 thoughts on “Two Glittery Hoo-Ha’s in a Month? What Are You Trying to Tell Me, Universe?

  1. rq

    I don’t suppose the ‘glittery’ is an erroneously used synonym for ‘glistening’, is it…?

    But heck, I’d much rather be a glittery hoo-ha (esp. the SJW variety) than have one. Glittery navels for the win!

  2. 2

    Glittery navels are attractive, glittery hoo-has would, IMHO, not be as nice. Besides, some glitter could be irritating if placed on mucus membranes.

  3. 3

    I read that book. It was so horrible that it was actually rather entertaining.

    If you want a REALLY bad and NOT entertaining book… A Woman Worth Ten Coppers. You KNOW the book is going to be bad when the main characters tells you that she’s the Chosen One just a couple pages in.

  4. 5

    The glitter naval could work nicely for covert glitter-bomb attacks! For decorating orifices, not so much.

    How long has the Goddess thing been a thing? It seems like Goddess stuff is everywhere all-of-a-sudden. My wife went to a Bday party with a bunch of the girls and apparently the party featured a Goddess Ceremony (which she thankfully wasn’t able to stick around for.)

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