I Am the Bun-Wearing Scourge of Men

Ah, I see Dave Futrelle has compiled a handy list of the many ways women are oppressing teh poor menz. Let’s have a look and see how I score, shall we?

Women insult and horrify men by getting tattoos

Check.

Image shows me in a black straw cowboy hat, showing off the Peacemakers logo tattoo on my shoulder. The Sea of Cortez and the hotel pool/bar are in the background. Yeah, I know ya jelly.
I have a tattoo. Misandry!!!

…developing self-esteem

Lessee… I feel I am smart enough, pretty enough, and all-round awesome enough to tell PUAs, MRAs, and other assorted misogynistic assholes to put their moves on a wasp colony. Yep. Self-esteem boosted. Misandry activated!

…and being fat.

Oh, dear, I’m afraid my body isn’t cooperating there. I have frivolous genes that don’t know how to store food for possible future needs. But I do have a very small pot-belly. Does that count? Considering the men in question, it probably does. Anything aside from supermodel-perfection is considered a terrible affront to their manhood. Go, Team Misandry!

They have the temerity to sleep with men that aren’t pickup artists.

I’m doing that as we speak! Well, not exactly as we speak, I mean, obviously, I’m writing this right now. But I am having regular intimate relations with a man who finds PUAs hilariously pathetic. I even picked him up. Misandry level elevated!

They force would-be Casanovas to take showers and even wipe their own asses in order to appeal to their fickle female tastes.

All of my gentlemen have been remarkably good at basic personal hygiene. And yes, they’re aware that if they want to play with my bits, their own must be properly sanitized. I am a terrible misandrist that way.

Sometimes they even say “no” to sex.

I’ve done that many a time. I’ve also done something much, much worse: I’ve cracked a joke about painting the ceiling beige during the act. Misandry x eleventy-trillion!!!

And then there is the hair thing: believe it or not, some women actually cut their hair short in an obvious attempt to destroy the boners of modern man.

I’m too lazy to have done it recently, but back in my college days, I got tired of my super-long hair and had it hacked off in a Scully-do. My ex-father-in-common-law was shocked. “But long hair is such an accomplishment!” he told me, which made me larf, because the only “accomplishment” about it was that I’d accomplished such a level of laziness I couldn’t be arsed to go to the salon for years. After watching me have to spend hours in the bathroom getting the short stuff properly tamed and aimed, I do believe the ex-in-law came to realize that. And aside from that brief exclamation of dismay, he was very supportive about all of my choices, even when I had to break up with his son. Not only did I have misandrist hair, I caused another man to misandry!

But it turns out women don’t have to get pixie cuts to oppress men with their hair. They can also put their long hair … in a bun.

I HAVE MISANDRIED ALL THE WAYS!

Image shows me standing on bluish-gray basalt dikes, taking a picture at other dikes on the other side of a river. My hair is in a bun.
My misandrist bun and I photograph the sheeted dikes of the Josephine Ophiolite. Image courtesy Lockwood.

Achievement unlocked.

It makes me so happy to know that everything I like about myself and appreciate in men is anathema to the MRA/PUA set. Now I’m considering dyeing my hair an outrageous color just so I can oppress the Gamergaters… what color should I pick?

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I Am the Bun-Wearing Scourge of Men
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16 thoughts on “I Am the Bun-Wearing Scourge of Men

  1. 2

    I particularly like how some of those articles criticize women for being openly sexual and using their bodies and sense of personal beauty as a means of self expression… But then others will turn around in other articles and criticize women for making themselves less attractive to men.

    Double standard much, guys? :P

    I laugh, but at the same time I feel bad for laughing because pathetic as they are I’m not the one who has to live with this crap being directed at me, and that second part isn’t funny. :(

  2. 3

    This post amused me so much I’ve donated a small amount for you to advance the cause of misandry even more by taking your man out for a drink and (horrors) buying his drink for him.

  3. 4

    Haven’t visited the Mammoth lately, thanks for the reminder…

    This had me in stitches…

    Roosh V’s game site Reaxxion tricked into publishing an old John Birch Society pamphlet as a #GamerGate manifesto

    …some of the language in Quatermain’s post seemed weirdly old-fashioned, almost as if he were cribbing from some old John Birch pamphlet on the “communist menace” from half a century ago.

    That’s because he was. I pasted a few sentences from Quatermain’s essay into Google and discovered that they did in fact come straight from an old John Birch newspaper ad from the 1960s…

    Bwahahahahaha! Chuckle … snort…sniffle…. >;-}

  4. 6

    I’m considering dyeing my hair an outrageous color just so I can oppress the Gamergaters… what color should I pick?

    The best way to annoy them is to actually game, and to actually be an in-game feminist. It’s like going into their little clubhouse and sniffing loudly and asking, “don’t you guys ever clean this place?!” (Which is, basically, what Sarkeesian did, and it’s why they all threw their dirty socks at her because, no, they don’t ever seem to clean…)

    In Marcus fantasy-land, the response to the gamergaters’ would have been if basically every feminist blogger on earth had decided to do a review of one of the games Sarkeesian pointed out as having pointless tropes against women. Because the issue is about ethics in game journalism, the obvious answer is for there to be more sincere game reviews written by people who bring passion and creativity to game reviewing.

  5. 7

    Roosh V’s game site Reaxxion tricked into publishing an old John Birch Society pamphlet

    I just read that and it’s made my whole day – perhaps my whole week!!! That’s serious epic-level 40-person-raid class trolling, flawlessly executed.

  6. 8

    Hair color: Turquoise. Because it’s also a rock, of course. Either that or orange, because, you know, pumpkins.

    Personally, I just wish I had hair.

  7. 9

    I just read that and it’s made my whole day – perhaps my whole week!!! That’s serious epic-level 40-person-raid class trolling, flawlessly executed.

    Indeed! So well done, it was by far my news highlight of the week as well. I love that no one noticed it until Futrelle did his sleuthing.

  8. 10

    The best way to annoy them is to actually game, and to actually be an in-game feminist.

    You don’t even have to be female to do this. My son sometimes games with a female avatar, and he is a staunch feminist. He gets hit on and otherwise told nasty things when gaming while female than when he games as himself. It’s been an interesting experiment for him.

  9. rq
    11

    Rainbow, obviously, because that would also broadcast your allegiance to Teh Ghey, who are obviously out to gayify the world by (a) stealing everyone’s girlfriend to be their very own BFF and (b) emasculating all the men to have more wanton lascivious sex – and isn’t that the epitome of misandry? Not letting the men be Real Menz?
    And I didn’t know you had a tattoo! Very niice!!

    Okay, and then honestly – the one hairstyle they pick on is the bun? I guess ballerinas just ain’t feminine enough anymore. (Well, there is this, so maybe they have a point…)

  10. 12

    You don’t even have to be female to do this. My son sometimes games with a female avatar, and he is a staunch feminist.

    True. I’ve done my bit by adding “use of homophobic or gendered insults” to my Warcraft raid team’s list of reasons why we will boot you, and I’ve actually gotten raid groups to kick people from LFG/LFR for using gendered insults. In one case, it was pretty funny – we had a tank on a raid who called one of the healers a “C-…” and the healer calmly replied “I don’t like being called that, so tell me how you’re going to tank without heals.” We wiped (of course) and the tank quit the raid. :)

    I really do believe that one of the reasons gamergate is so screaming frantic is because they smell the fecal reek of resounding and utter defeat. The gamer population is around 50/50 gender split, though it splits differently with the type of game, but there are generally enough feminists around that if someone starts being an ass they may not get away with it any more. So eventually I expect misogynistic/homophobic behavior to get marginalized – perhaps someone will make a duke nukem stormfront MMO where all the gamergaters can hang out and we’ll see the last of them.

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