Ah, I see Dave Futrelle has compiled a handy list of the many ways women are oppressing teh poor menz. Let’s have a look and see how I score, shall we?
Women insult and horrify men by getting tattoos…
Lessee… I feel I am smart enough, pretty enough, and all-round awesome enough to tell PUAs, MRAs, and other assorted misogynistic assholes to put their moves on a wasp colony. Yep. Self-esteem boosted. Misandry activated!
…and being fat.
Oh, dear, I’m afraid my body isn’t cooperating there. I have frivolous genes that don’t know how to store food for possible future needs. But I do have a very small pot-belly. Does that count? Considering the men in question, it probably does. Anything aside from supermodel-perfection is considered a terrible affront to their manhood. Go, Team Misandry!
They have the temerity to sleep with men that aren’t pickup artists.
I’m doing that as we speak! Well, not exactly as we speak, I mean, obviously, I’m writing this right now. But I am having regular intimate relations with a man who finds PUAs hilariously pathetic. I even picked him up. Misandry level elevated!
They force would-be Casanovas to take showers and even wipe their own asses in order to appeal to their fickle female tastes.
All of my gentlemen have been remarkably good at basic personal hygiene. And yes, they’re aware that if they want to play with my bits, their own must be properly sanitized. I am a terrible misandrist that way.
Sometimes they even say “no” to sex.
I’ve done that many a time. I’ve also done something much, much worse: I’ve cracked a joke about painting the ceiling beige during the act. Misandry x eleventy-trillion!!!
And then there is the hair thing: believe it or not, some women actually cut their hair short in an obvious attempt to destroy the boners of modern man.
I’m too lazy to have done it recently, but back in my college days, I got tired of my super-long hair and had it hacked off in a Scully-do. My ex-father-in-common-law was shocked. “But long hair is such an accomplishment!” he told me, which made me larf, because the only “accomplishment” about it was that I’d accomplished such a level of laziness I couldn’t be arsed to go to the salon for years. After watching me have to spend hours in the bathroom getting the short stuff properly tamed and aimed, I do believe the ex-in-law came to realize that. And aside from that brief exclamation of dismay, he was very supportive about all of my choices, even when I had to break up with his son. Not only did I have misandrist hair, I caused another man to misandry!
But it turns out women don’t have to get pixie cuts to oppress men with their hair. They can also put their long hair … in a bun.
I HAVE MISANDRIED ALL THE WAYS!
It makes me so happy to know that everything I like about myself and appreciate in men is anathema to the MRA/PUA set. Now I’m considering dyeing my hair an outrageous color just so I can oppress the Gamergaters… what color should I pick?