I need your help, my darlings!
Among the roughly ten trillion projects I’ve got in the works is the Really Bad Inspiration from the Bible initiative. I’ve got lots of beautiful photos, y’see, like this:
Plenty of them are the kind of things you see on inspirational posters what has Bible verses about soft, fluffy stuff, and I figure, it’s about time to show what the Bible’s really like. I’m going to make my own inspirational images, quoting the worst, bloodiest, most intolerant or bizarre bits of the Bible. It’ll look roughly like this:
That’s just a mock-up in Paint. I’ll be able to do the things properly once I’ve got my computer woes resolved.
So what I need from you, my darlings, is this: the worst Bible verses you know. The kind of stuff fluffy bunny Christians frantically skip when they’re skimming the not-so-good book. The ones that would get the thing banned from fundie bookstores for being too violent/lewd/immoral if it wasn’t for the fact they worship the book all this nastiness is in. I want the kinds of verses that make good people vomit. And once I’ve got ’em, I’ll start plastering them on inspirational images, showing how the Bible makes a mockery of any claim to justice, decency and morality.
And yes, they’ll available for purchase as magnets and postcards and such, so that you can give the appropriate Biblical gifts to Bible-believing folk. Just imagine the looks on Aunt Maude’s and Uncle JimBob’s faces when you give them the inspired Word imprinted on a completely unobjectionable photograph. Practice waxing lyrical about the power and majesty of God, and the 100% Pure Inspiration in Every Last Word, then sit back and watch them sputter as they realize they can’t tell you how awful and inappropriate it is, because Bible. It’ll be awesome.
Right, then. Hit me with your best worst verses!
(h/t Richard Carrier)