The Position of Research Assistant is (Badly) Filled

Thank you to all who expressed interest in the position of Research Assistant, which I never actually posted. I’m afraid the position has been filled for some time. Not that my assistant has ever provided much assistance: she thinks she’s helping, and that’s what counts.

Image shows Misha wedged into the space on the bed between my laptop and the book The Creationists.
The Assisstant

Due to a fair bit of insomnia and a cat using me as a mattress, I’ve finished Numbers’s gargantuan book. I supposed keeping me pinned down with no choice but to read or go slowly mad from inactivity is assisting. I’d fire her, but I value my life. You can try to remove her from her position, but I warn you: she’s quick with the teeth for an old fart.

The Position of Research Assistant is (Badly) Filled

3 thoughts on “The Position of Research Assistant is (Badly) Filled

  1. 2


    I could lie by your side for the rest of our lives
    I think I’ll walk away right now

    I could let you pet me for a hundred years
    I think we need some time apart

    I could be kissed a thousand thousand times
    I think I’m needed somewhere else

    I could sit on your lap forever
    I said I could sit on your lap FOREVER
    Don’t you even think of trying to get up
    Well, you should have gone to the bathroom beforehand
    Because forever is a very, very long time

    (from here:

  2. 3

    rq @1

    My 18 year old furball still has all of her teeth. She still has all of her fur, despite leaving large clumps in the most awkward to vacuum places.

    comfychair @2

    Francesco Marciuliano’s I Could Pee on This is an excellent collection of poems. Here’s the title poem:

    Her new sweater doesn’t smell of me
    I could pee on that
    She’s gone out for the day and
    Left her laptop on the counter
    I could pee on that
    Her new boyfriend just pushed my head away
    I could pee on him
    She’s ignoring me ignoring her
    I could pee everywhere
    She’s making up for it
    By putting me in her lap
    I could pee on this
    I could pee on this

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