Olbermann to Hannity: "You Are Now Unnecessary"

Keith Olbermann has pronounced Sean Hannity a superfluous piece of shit:

Last night on Countdown, Olbermann announced that he was rescinding the offer to Hannity, and instead giving $10,000 to charity following radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller’s waterboarding attempt. Olbermann promised to donate to the charity Veterans of Valor, founded by Sgt. Klay South, who administered the waterboarding to Muller. Olbermann revealed that Mancow’s publicist had contacted Olbermann’s show yesterday to see whether Olbermann would make a similar offer to Mancow as he did for Hannity:

OLBERMANN: Mancow Muller had the guts to put his mouth where his mouth was, and the guts to admit he was dead wrong. As you saw, he not only said it is torture, but that he had nearly drowned as a boy, and it is drowning, and that he would have admitted to anything to make it stop.

So the offer to the coward Hannity — a thousand dollars a second he lasted on the waterboard — is withdrawn.

And to Mr. Muller, whose station’s publicity person contacted us yesterday saying she’d heard I’d offered ten thousand dollars to anybody who would do what he did –

You got it. Ten thousand dollars to the military-families charity of the man who did the waterboarding, Veterans Of Valor. […]

As to Hannity, you are now unnecessary.

Not that he was necessary to begin with, o’ course.

And so ends this chapter of the Waterboard Hannity chronicles. Skeptic Kitteh was right:


Bookie Kitteh’s now taking bets on how long it is before Hannity feels brave enough to spout off about waterboarding again.

Olbermann to Hannity: "You Are Now Unnecessary"
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Frank PWNS Beck

Poor Glenn Beck. He’s had an awful week. First, the ladies on the View spanked his ass, which led to a bad case of the View Flu (which he tried to pass off, and I’m not kidding, as “the 24-hour swine flu”). Now he’s having another health crisis, because his little roving producer Griff Jenkins ended up with his ass in a sling:

The Glenn Beck show tried to sandbag Barney Frank with one of their roving reporters or producers or whatever they are, but they messed with the wrong guy. ACORN is Beck’s villain of the hour and Biff Jenkins asked Frank if he’d hold hearings on ACORN because the right hates them. He got an answer he didn’t expect.

Frank: As you know, the Bush administration, every year of the eight years of the Bush administration gave them well over a million dollars for housing counseling, and nobody has shown me any sign that any of that federal money was misspent. You know, I think people are being somewhat unfair to President Bush and his secretaries of HUD who consistently funded ACORN for, as I said, for a total of about 14 million dollars during the Bush years. If someone has evidence that the money that President Bush made available was misspent — that’s what I have jurisdiction over, I don’t have jurisdiction over election activities by another ACORN organization — but if anyone has any evidence, and no one has sent it to me yet, that the Bush administration ignored the misspending of that $14 million, I’ll look into it.

Biff: Yes, sir, but would you hold hearings or an investigation …?

Frank: I think you’re being very unfair to President Bush.

OK, his name is not Biff, it’s Griff. Frank used this against Michelle Bachmann and when you hit them with facts like this, they really have no response other than to ignore what Barney Frank said and continue with their smears.

Have I told you lately how much I love Barney Frank?

Frank PWNS Beck

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

We’re late today because, well, it’s a holiday weekend. Pretty slim pickings, alas. But you’ll be glad to know there’s a reason why you’ve seen so much Dick on your teevee:

So, why has Dick Cheney been so desperate to hit the airwaves as part of his crusade against the White House? Explanations differ, but his desire to sell a memoir to publishers might have at least something to do with his efforts.

With his sustained blitz of television appearances and speeches, former Vice President Dick Cheney has established himself as perhaps the leading Republican voice against President Obama.

Not a bad time, then, to be in the market for a multimillion-dollar book contract…. A person familiar with discussions Mr. Cheney has had with publishers said he was seeking more than $2 million for his advance. That sum may prove hard to get in this economic climate, especially given his generally low approval ratings, which publishers view as a potential — but not certain — harbinger for sales.

Reports indicate Cheney may end up with a deal with Simon & Schuster, because it’s home to an imprint run by Mary Matalin, who is also publishing Karl Rove’s book.

This might offer at least some hints about Cheney’s recent motivations. A book written by a failed former vice president may not compel publishers to pay the big bucks, but a book written by one of the leaders of the modern Republican Party, and the GOP’s leading attack dog of the nation’s elected leadership, might generate a more sizable advance.

What I don’t quite understand is why anyone would expect Cheney’s book to be successful. After all, the former vice president has a well-deserved reputation for almost comical dishonesty. Who’s going to pony up $29.95 for a book written by someone who routinely blurs the line between fact and fiction?

The only market likely to pay $29.95 for the privilege, after all, doesn’t really read big, thick, serious books. Unless this one’s co-written by Rush Limbaugh, I’m afraid Dick’ll be out of luck.

Angling for a bigger advance may only be a part of Dick’s motives. His daughter seems to be implying her daddy’s trying to stay out of prison:

Last night on CNN, however, Cheney’s daughter Liz revealed that fear of prosecution is indeed a motivating factor in the former vice president’s current media campaign:

L. CHENEY: I don’t think he planned to be doing this, you know, when they left office in January. But I think, as it became clear that President Obama was not only going to be stopping some of these policies, that he was going to be doing things like releasing the — the techniques themselves, so that the terrorists could now train to them, that he was suggesting that perhaps we would even be prosecuting former members of the Bush administration.

And that would be such a terrible tragedy. But it might also help with the advance amount problem. After all, a book of lies by a convicted war criminal would be so much more interesting than a book of lies by a despised former VP.

Speaking of lies, Arizona’s enduring shame (no, not McCain – the other one) is fully aware of the fact that if people heard the truth about the Cons’ plans for health care, they’d laugh them out of the debate:

In an interview posted online by the National Review, Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) candidly explained how his party would try to deceive the public during the coming health care debate. Kyl said that although Republicans believe in a “free market” approach to health care, to describe it honestly to the “people we have to convince” would not be “persuasive.” Instead, Kyl boasts that he and his colleagues will use the “hollow buzzwords” prescribed by GOP language consultant Frank Luntz:

KYL: We of course believe the free market can provide the incentives for everyone to be covered with good insurance but to talk about it in terms of the free market is not to be persuasive with the people we have to convince.

Shorter Jon Kyl: We know that the electorate knows we’re full of shit on this, so we’d best lie about it.

The Cons’ problem is that Americans have already been fooled twice, and they may not be inclined to strike out:

Bill Moyers and Michael Winship write at Salon.com:

Way, way back in the 1970’s Americans were riled up over the rising costs of health care. As a presidential candidate, Jimmy Carter started talking about the government clamping down. When he got to the White House, drug makers, insurance companies, hospitals and doctors — the very people who only a decade earlier had done everything they could to strangle Medicare in the cradle — seemed uncharacteristically humble and cooperative. “You don’t have to make us cut costs,” they promised. “We’ll do it voluntarily.”

So Uncle Sam backed down, and you guessed it. Pretty soon medical costs were soaring higher than ever.

By the early ’90s, the public was once again hurting in the pocketbook. Feeling our pain, Bill and Hillary Clinton tried again, coming up with a plan only slightly more complicated than the schematics for an F-18 fighter jet.

This time the health industry acted more like Tony Soprano than Mother Teresa. It bludgeoned the Clinton reforms with one of the most expensive and deceitful public relations and advertising campaigns ever conceived — paid for, of course, from the industry’s swollen profits.

As the drug and insurance companies, hospitals and doctors dumped the mangled carcass of reform into the Potomac, securely encased in concrete, once again they said don’t worry; they would cut costs voluntarily.

If you believed that, we’ve got a toll-free bridge to the Mayo Clinic we’d like to sell you.

So anyone with any memory left could be excused for raising their eyebrows at the healthcare industry’s latest promises. As if on cue, hardly had their pledge of volunteerism rung out across the land than Jay Gellert, chief executive of Health Net Inc. and chair of the lobbying group America’s Health Insurance Plans, assured his pals not to worry about the voluntary reductions.

You can see
why Jon Kyl and his buddies might be worried about the results if they start yawping about the “free market” again.

Meanwhile, Steve Benen and Publius take up the eternal question: are Cons playing cynical partisan games, or are they really that fucking stupid? The context this time is the pants-pissing fear campaign they’re waging against Gitmo. Steve’s conclusion:

It’s hard to say with any certainty, and there’s no doubt some variety within the group — some liars and some fools — but for what it’s worth, there’s ample evidence to support the “blatant dishonesty for partisan gain” theory. The Wall Street Journal reports today that Republicans see the debate over Gitmo as “the culmination of a carefully developed GOP strategy,” which they hope to use as “the beginning of a political comeback.”

The goal, apparently, was to identify a “favorable issue” on which the party could go on the offensive; “tarnish” Democratic leaders; and attack until the criticisms “begin to seem counterproductive.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) concluded more than a year ago that Mr. Obama might be vulnerable on Guantanamo — and the unease voters would have over the prospect of transferring suspected terrorists to U.S. soil. Since April 20 he has delivered 17 floor speeches on the issue. Mr. McConnell beat back party dissent over his strategy, as some argued it was a losing battle when the president enjoyed such high poll numbers.

The attacks, in other words, are largely a cynical ploy, predicated on Republican hopes that public fear will outweigh public reason, and that most Americans won’t realize how spectacularly dishonest the whole argument is.

That beats widespread stupidity, I suppose.

I say it’s a photo finish, possibly a dead heat. Either way, we’re dealing with a bunch of inane fucktards some of my fellow citizens are sadly stupid enough to vote for.

Of course, if the GOP keeps up their dumbfuckery, especially with antics like equating Nancy Pelosi with Pussy Galore, at least one set of citizens won’t be stupid enough to keep voting for them:

Yeah, I know. The GOP stereotype of a bunch of sniggering frat boys pointing their fingers and screaming “boobies” is rarely unfair. The fact that the Republican party leadership (such as it is) has no better strategy than provoking feminist outrage to delight its drooling extremist base puts its limitations on full display.

A Drudge headline this week indicates the method to their madness:

Blue collar males lose more ground; unemployment rate surges past national average…

Blame the betties for the lost jobs, we’re the new Mexicans. Nancy Pelosi is a stand in for us all. It’s reliable lizard brain trope.

But are they burning the brand with women in the process? From the latest Daily Kos poll:

Favorable Unfavorable No Opinion
Barack Obama 70 24 6
Nancy Pelosi 39 44 17
Mitch McConnell 16 65 19
John Boehner 9 71 20
Congressional Democrats 46 45 9
Congressional Republicans 5 80 15
Democratic Party 54 37

9

Republican Party 14 78 8

I’m not a statistics expert by any means but in the last election, women cast 53% of the Presidential vote. Obama got 56% of the female vote, while McCain drew 49%.

Lessee… they’ve lost the vast majority of minorites, women, and other miscellaneous sane people. Not much left, now, is there?

Finally, we’ll end with a game Suzie at Crooks and Liars came up with. Click here for the answer:

The Congressional GOPers (Party of Corporate Pork) are so, so upset when the wrong people are on the losing end in government bailouts. See if you can spot the delicious irony!

Dozens of lawmakers are challenging the authority of President Obama’s auto task force, saying its swift restructuring of General Motors and Chrysler is unjust to investors, dealers and others.

In a letter to Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner yesterday, Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-Tex.) said the auto task force is waging a “war on capital” by favoring the United Auto Workers, who are being offered a 39 percent equity stake in the new GM, over bondholders, many of them small investors and retirees, who are being offered 10 percent.

“Choosing sides between equal classes of creditors sets a terrible precedent — one that could cause serious long term challenges to the financing marketplace by eroding investor confidence at the worst time in our recessionary period,” Hensarling wrote in a letter signed by 20 other House members.

They’re so precious when they pound their little fists into the carpet like that…

Happy Hour Discurso

Torture Apologists on Parade: Flying Cow Edition

Unlike Sean Hannity, Mancow isn’t afraid to put his water where his mouth is. Alas, as he discovered, empirical evidence trumps ideology:

On his radio show this morning, “conservative libertarian” talker Eric “Mancow” Muller set out to prove that waterboarding isn’t torture by having himself waterboarded. But instead, after enduring “6 or 7 seconds” of the interrogation technique, Mancow admitted that it was “absolutely torture”:

Turns out the stunt wasn’t so funny. Witnesses said Muller thrashed on the table, and even instantly threw the toy cow he was holding as his emergency tool to signify when he wanted the experiment to stop. He only lasted 6 or 7 seconds.

“It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,”Mancow said, likening it to a time when he nearly drowned as a child. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back…It was instantaneous…and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.

I wanted to prove it wasn’t torture,” Mancow said. “They cut off our heads, we put water on their face…I got voted to do this but I really thought ‘I’m going to laugh this off.’”

He stated that the sensation brought on by waterboarding was exactly the same as drowning. He should know – he drowned as a child. No wonder the cow went flying the second the water hit him.

Jury’s out on whether he goes back to trying to wish the truth away, but still, I respect him. He actually tested his beliefs. He admitted he was dead fucking wrong. And he didn’t use weasel words. He may not be able to make it thirty seconds under the waterboard, but he’s already kicked the collective asses of Hannity et al. Good on him.

Now we’ll see how long it takes before the Cons and their media darlings start scoffing at the whole thing. If you watch the video, it doesn’t look that bad – guy gets some water on the face, freaks out, turns pasty white and starts babbling “It’s torture! It’s torture!” The lack of screaming, blood and breaking bones deceive. That’s why people without the imagination to realize just what suffocating under a stream of water does to your mind and body need to undergo this themselves.

I’d like to request Lou Dobbs volunteer next:

Lou Dobbs calls out Chuck Schumer for his waffling on whether Americans would accept torture being used in the phony ticking time bomb scenario. He then asks his audience to participate in an on line poll and asks whether they would “personally employ torture to save American lives and prevent an attack on this country?” And surprise, surprise…the overwhelming answer is…YES! Looks like all that fear mongering is paying off well for you. What’s next Lou? You going to ask them if they’d like to shoot Mexicans to put an end to illegal immigration?

I’m tempted to head out to the streets with a board, a bucket of water, and a towel, and see just how many of my torture-loving fellow Americans are willing to enjoy some torture themselves. Even in Seattle, I’m likely to find a few fuckwits who are still under the illusion that 24 is a documentary and they’re so tough they could outlast Mancow.

Fuck. Let’s turn it into a reality show. And let’s take our buckets to Congress, where I’m sure we’ll find plenty of volunteers in the minority party, along with a select few in the majority.

What’s that? They all ran away? Gee, I’m shocked. After all, it’s just a little splash of water. Don’t they want to keep America safe?

(Tip o’ the shotglass to the folks I filched the images from. Please forgive my lack of Photoshop-fu – I did the best I could.)

Torture Apologists on Parade: Flying Cow Edition

Perhaps It'll Ask WolframAlpha Instead

A couple of years ago, I wrote a scene wherein Dusty, my FBI agent character, is given a Miraldian “PDA” – a semi-sentient little alien device that makes the iPhone look like an actual big dumb brick, and is only called a PDA by my Earthling characters because, well, people use old names for new things. It provided an opportunity for a moment of levity:

“Go on,” August said. “Ask it a question. Any question.”

She cupped the PDA in her hands and looked down at it. Ultra-advanced alien technology was roughly the size and shape of a cosmetic compact, and shiny metalic pastel peach in color. She would have preferred black, with a lot of LED buttons and flashing lights and something, anything, to say this wasn’t just a little hollow lump of metal. The whole situation was surreal. DVDs traded for technology that might as well have been magic? She couldn’t help herself. “What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?”

“Forty-two,” an androgynous little voice promptly said.

She nearly dropped the PDA. And then she shot an accusing stare at August. “You’re winding me up.”

“No, it Googled it.” August bent over her computer and typed the question in. “That’s what it’s trained to do when it’s not sure what the answer is. If you ask for detail, it’ll tell you how it got the result.”

He showed her the search results on her screen. He was right. If you asked Google, it came up with Douglas Adams’s answer.

And, indeed, if you Google that question, the top results refer to Douglas Adams.

With this background, you’ll understand why this tidbit from Kevin Drum caught my attention:

…I tried out the WolframAlpha search engine today for the first time. It’s been getting generally panned, but it sure did an impressively good job on my test drive query. Check it out:

You’ll also understand why I promptly scampered over and asked the self-same question Dusty had asked. And why I burst out in such peals of delighted laughter that the cat nearly suffered cardiac arrest:


It’s too bad “It WolframAlphaed it” doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily as Googled, eh?

The search engine isn’t perfect, o’ course. I stumped it with “Does Dana Hunter drink tequila?” which should’ve been a cakewalk (yes, Dana Hunter drinks tequila. Duh). But it’s an awesome concept, I’m sure it’ll improve with age, and I think it’ll quickly become my boon companion on the research front.

Go forth and have fun with it.

Perhaps It'll Ask WolframAlpha Instead

LOLZ Travel Tips

Happy Memorial Day weekend! For those of you with travel plans, have a fabulously fun and safe trip.

O’ course, the journey of a thousand miles always begins with a complication or two:


Remember to treat your car with the respect it deserves:


And don’t forget to photograph the interesting sights at roadside attractions:


Above all, enjoy yourselves, my darlings.

LOLZ Travel Tips

Happy Hour Discurso

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

Sorry we’re late, my darlings. Was out running errands, getting my hair cut, and fitting the cat with a harness. Hilarious pictures of a pissed-off feline on a bungee leash will no doubt follow in the next few days. You should have seen her dear little face when I took her to PetSmart. (For those of you whose cats tend to self-destruct when they’re on a leash, I recommend the Come with Me Kitty Harness & Bungee Leash Set, available online and at Target. Most kitties will fit into a medium, but if your cat is fat, plump for the large. Take it from someone who just learned that her cat is, indeed, fat. Aside from that, the design is perfect for preventing your pet from strangling itself.)

Anyway. I’ve only now gotten home and digested the ginormous pile of stupid awaiting me upon my return. Ye fucking gods. It being a holiday weekend, I guess everybody was packing the dumbfuckery into their Friday.

First up is a potential new segment we can call “Don’t Wanna Know Dick:”

With Dick Cheney positioning himself as one of the de facto leaders of the nation in the post-Bush/Cheney era, it’s not unreasonable to ask Republican incumbents a straightforward question: do you want to campaign alongside the former vice president?

A few GOP leaders are willing to put on a brave face, but those who may face competitive races next year are a little cagey on the subject.

Asked whether he’d like Cheney to campaign with him, Utah Sen. Robert Bennett — who faces a primary challenge in 2010 — said: “The most powerful national politician in Utah is Mitt Romney, and he’s already come to Utah to campaign for me. And I think I’ll leave it at that.”

Asked if he’d want Cheney on the campaign trail for him, North Carolina Sen. Richard Burr said: “I’m not going to go there yet.” Pressed on the matter, Burr — a top target for Democrats — said Cheney is “trying to set the record straight on his administration.” But Burr said he didn’t want to discuss “what’s going to happen in my campaign. I don’t even have an opponent.”

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas), head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, told reporters yesterday that he’d be “proud to appear with the vice president anywhere, anytime.” When pressed on whether they share that view, Florida’s Charlie Crist, Ohio’s Rob Portman, and Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski said they didn’t want to talk about it. Arizona John McCain, who’s also seeking another term next year, responded, “I don’t have the time or energy to discuss that — or the inclination.”

I don’t think I need to expand on that. Some things are perfectly amusing exactly as they are.

On the misnomer front, Liberty University might want to consider changing its name:

Liberty University has announced that it will no longer recognize its student-run Democratic club. The university, founded by televangelist Rev. Jerry Falwell, states that officials “are unable to lend support to a club whose parent organization stands against the moral principles held by” the university. Liberty’s College Democrats have been barred from using the university’s name, holding campus meetings, or advertising events. Liberty’s Vice President of Student Affairs claims “we are in no way attempting to stifle free speech.”

[ed. note: go on, pull the other. it’s got bells on.]

[snip]

Brian Diaz, President of Liberty’s College Democrats, notes that the Liberty College Republicans continue to operate on campus.

Liberty, my arse.

On the “didn’t think that one through” front, we have this spiffy new ad from the RNC:

No doubt somebody at the RNC thought it would be a clever idea, since Nancy Pelosi is feuding with the CIA, to run an ad comparing Pelosi to a James Bond villainess up against the superspy — as in Bond’s many screen-credit sequences wherein he blasts away at various villains.

You would think, somewhere, someone would have suggested that maybe having a sequence where we look at Pelosi down the barrel of a gun, hear shots fired, and then watch blood drip down our screens wasn’t exactly the smartest or most responsible way to

Alas, the completion of that sentence is left to our imaginations. I think the supreme fucktardednes left poor David Neiwart momentarily speechless. Mind you, this ad was created by the same alleged grown-ups who are currently whining about how mean and uncivilized those librul bloggers are.

They just scored a -10,242,111 on the Self Awareness Scale.

Next up, we have a special section devoted to Governors Who Can’t Fucking Govern. First up, Rick “Secession” Perry, who just wants the feds to stay the hell away from Texas – except when he needs cash for a remodel:

So what do you do when you’re an anti-spending, pro-secession conservative governor whose publicly-owned mansion needs $21 million in repairs to recover from fire damage?

Apparently, you do something like this (via diarist gsadamb [update: and also Velvet Revolution]):

AUSTIN, Texas – While Gov. Rick Perry is criticizing Washington bailouts, state lawmakers are planning to use $11 million in federal stimulus money to help rebuild the badly burned Texas Governor’s Mansion.

Approximately $10 million in state tax money will also be spent on a renovation, which is expected to cost about $20 million, officials said Thursday.

This, of course, is the same Rick Perry who, along with a handful of other Republican extremists, rejected stimulus money for jobless Texans, and recently s
aid that Texas would consider seceding if the federal government didn’t dramatically cut spending.

Speaking of governors who rejected stimulus funds

And then there’s South Carolina:

Gov. Mark Sanford is taking the General Assembly to court after lawmakers required him to accept $350 million in disputed federal money by overriding his budget vetoes.

Sanford quickly announced the federal suit after the Senate voted 34-11 on a state budget that forces him to accept the money.

“We know a suit will be filed against us on this issue, and as such we’ve filed a suit tonight in response,” Sanford said in a prepared statement. “We believe the Legislature’s end-around move won’t pass constitutional muster.”

Yes, the governor would rather sue his legislature than accept federal funding that would go to bolster schools and public safety.

Something tells me that might come back to bite him come Election Day. By then, there’ll only be about 27 faithful Cons left in the country. Everybody else will have figured out that it’s best to vote for the people who want to make sure you have a job, healthcare and food.

And finally, another fine example of democracy in action:

It didn’t get much play, but earlier in the week, the Connecticut state senate voted to ban the death penalty earlier in the week. Now,

Connecticut Gov. Jodi Rell vowed Friday to veto a newly approved bill banning the death penalty as soon as she receives it, saying capital punishment is appropriate for certain heinous crimes.

The measure, approved early Friday by the state Senate and last week by the state House of Representatives, would replace capital punishment with life in prison without the possibility of parole.

At least two-thirds of the members of each chambers would have to vote to override a veto. But achieving that margin is in doubt, given the tight 19-17 vote in the Democrat-led Senate. The bill passed 90-56 in the House, which also led by Democrats.

At the Orange Satan, they’ve got contact info. for Rell.

Interesting that we haven’t heard a peep from “pro-life” Catholic trolls like Gingrich, Bennett, Steele, K-Lo, Keyes, etc. demanding Rell “accept the will of the people” isn’t it?

To these fuckwits, it appears a “natural” death includes death by lethal injection. Interesting, that. And it’s ever so heartwarming to see a governor use her veto power to ensure the state gets to keep killing people.

And, finally, after all that stupidity, let’s have a little fun. First, I’m going to rip off Steve Benen’s title of a couple of days ago, because I want you all chanting “Go, Speed Reader, Go!”

Ready? In 3…2…1…

Go, Speed Reader, Go!

Faced with the possibility that the GOP minority might require the committee’s clerks to read aloud the 900-page Waxman-Markey climate change bill, or many of its 400-plus proposed amendments, the committee’s chairman, Henry Waxman (D-CA), hired a speed reader. A quick tongued, acting-clerk, if you will.

His services may ultimately not be necessary, but earlier today, to break the tension between battling factions, the committee’s ranking member Joe Barton (R-TX) asked the “speed reader clerk” to read part of one measly little amendment. Watch:

Sheer awesome. As you can see from the video, Rep. Joe Barton did not, in fact, have committee chair Henry Waxman by the nuts. Quite the opposite, in fact. Click that last link if you need a stiff chaser of silly Con tough-guy posturing followed by the inevitable silly Con whining about getting his arse kicked. And then celebrate a victory for a cleaner, cooler Earth.

Nice way to start a holiday weekend, isn’t it just?

Happy Hour Discurso

Something to Keep in Mind

The next time someone yawps at you about the extraordinary accomplishments of the Bush regime, you might want to drop this little tidbit on them (h/t):

Former Congresswoman and prosecutor Liz Holtzman makes a good point:

The criminal justice system identified and convicted some of those involved in the 1993 World Trade Center attacks. By contrast, not one person has been prosecuted for the 9/11 attacks, although seven and a half years have gone by. Even Khalid Sheik Mohammed, one of the masterminds of 9/11, is unlikely ever to be convicted in US courts because he was repeatedly subjected to torture. Significantly, the cruel and torturous methods used on detainees never yielded enough information to capture Osama Bin Laden or his chief deputy. So much for the claims of torture’s efficacy.

So what the fuck have we done for the last nearly 8 years? Oh. That’s right. Invaded the wrong fucking country so that a bunch of pathetic losers could play out their War President fantasies.

Anyone who still thinks the Bush regime was good for this country after clicking these three links is so terminally stupid that further conversation is useless.

Something to Keep in Mind

They, Too, Bravely Ran Away

David Broder’s latest atrocity column included this little gem:

…Democrats really are isolated from the military. Harry Truman had been an artillery captain; John Kennedy and Carter, Navy officers. But Bill Clinton did everything possible to avoid the draft, and Obama, motivated as he was to public service, never gave a thought to volunteering for the military.

I do so love it when Cons try to paint Dems as lily-livered military-hating cowards. It gives Steve Benen the opportunity to point out a few salient facts:

Consider a slightly different take. George W. Bush avoided Vietnam and failed to complete his obligations to the Texas Air National Guard, while Dick Cheney sought and received five deferments. In the House, neither the Minority Leader nor the Minority Whip served in the military. In the Senate, neither the Minority Leader nor the Minority Whip served in the military. Prominent Republican governors eyeing the 2012 presidential race — Jindal, Sanford, Palin, Romney, Crist — have no military background. Leading Republican voices outside government — Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly, Beck — chose to never wear the uniform.

That, my darlings, is why we call them Yellow Elephants. They like to talk the tough talk, but when it comes to walking the walk, they pull a Sir Robin instead.

This is why I believe the Dems should vote on a resolution asking the Cons to rename their party the Pathetic Hypocrite Party. After all, labels matter. And there’s nothing more important than bringing the truth to bear on the craven cowardice behind the Cons’ tough talk.

They, Too, Bravely Ran Away