Protect Your Vote from Republicon Marauders

Ah, ’tis Election Season. That hue and cry I hear must be the Republicons in full-throated panic over the potential of scary poor people, minorities and dirty liberals actually getting to vote. They know their “ideas” are noxious to the vast majority of thinking people. How else can they win but by trying to ensure that such undesirables aren’t allowed to cast a vote?

They do this every election year. As sure as it rains in Seattle in winter, the Republicons start screaming “Voter fraud!” when election time rolls round. Never mind they can never prove large-scale fraud. Never mind they’re the ones who gerrymander, voter cage, and intimidate people into not getting their vote counted. They either a) need to steal elections by dirty tricks or b) need to cast doubt on the results if they lose. So they go looking for windmills to tilt at.

They’re outdoing themselves this year. From voter-roll purges to flyers in poor neighborhoods threatening arrest on Election Day to using foreclosure lists to knock off voters, not to mention a billion other tactics they’ve tried over the last few months, they’re trying every method they can think of to stop all those impassioned Dems from casting their vote. Now they’re in full freak-out mode over ACORN, a nefarious group that not only registers a lot of poor people to vote, but actually flags suspicious registration forms so that the proper authorities can act accordingly and prevent fraudulent registrations. Oh, the horror!

(Ahem. Correct me if I’m wrong, here, but if you were planning to massively register a lot of fictitious people in hopes of stealing an election, would you actually tip the authorities that some of the registration forms you’ve collected and are now required by law to send in might be fraudulent? I didn’t think so. But the Republicons are so far around the bend that they think concientious attempts to ensure that only legitimate folks get registered are a sign of massive fraud.)

So, given all these shennanigans, how are you to protect your vote? Simplicity itself, my darlings.

1. Verifiy you’re registered. Do it. Do it NOW.

2. Give yourself plenty of time at the polls in case of problems, or vote absentee.

3. But IF you vote absentee, make sure additional hoops don’t have to be jumped through to get that vote counted. Check your state’s laws.

4. Carry this number with you: 1-866-OUR VOTE . The good folks at The Election Protection Commission have your back if problems crop up.

5. Prepare to sue the shit out of the Rethugs and their pals if they purged you illegally. It’ll be fun.

Don’t let these cons steal your vote from you. You have the right to vote. Exercise it with glee.

Protect Your Vote from Republicon Marauders