In this installment, we once again take up the complexity of the evolution vs. IDiot debate, and reduce it to simple terms for the simple-minded:

Retort to teach the controversy! Absolutely. You can teach Intelligent Design in science classrooms as soon as atheists can teach their views in Bible Study.

Retort to atheists and scientists are terrified of Expelled! Look at their response! Yes, we fear insane, lying pieces of shit and the stupid people who believe them. Who wouldn’t?

Retort to Expelled is a success! By your standards, yes. By a normal person’s, not so much.

Retort to Expelled proves Intelligent Design advocates are persecuted! Yep, being denied tenure because you’re a lazy fucker is right up there with being fed to lions.

Retort to why are you atheists and scientists so angry about Intelligent Design? We were perfectly happy before you took a shit in our sandbox and called it science.

Alternates: It kind of upsets me when someone wants to replace modern medicine with bullshit.

Kinda want future medical scientists taught science so they can develop actual cures.

Tell you what. I’ll make a movie about how Christianity led to Hitler and see how cheerful you feel afterward.

A further retort to science makes people atheists! Science doesn’t make people atheists. Pat Robertson does. (Courtesy of Nicole)

On that last, you can of course now insert the name of any leading light of the Expelled debacle. I have a feeling that we’re going to see an influx of disillusioned folks quite soon. For those already having doubts about their faith, seeing those fools frothing all over the big screen will likely be the final straw.

As always, feel free to leave your own contributions to the Retort in comments. You, too, could have your rapier wit prominently highlighted.