Comments on: You Remember The Weirdest Little Things https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/ Care and responsibility. Wed, 13 Nov 2013 04:47:39 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.6 By: Miri’s Survival Guide to Moving Across the Country Alone in a State of Terror and Panic » Brute Reason https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/#comment-7440 Wed, 13 Nov 2013 04:47:39 +0000 http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/?p=3212#comment-7440 […] why I quickly established My Gym and My Deli and My Work!LunchPlace and My School!LunchPlace and My Cafe. My School!LunchPlace is […]

]]> By: irisvanderpluym https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/#comment-7439 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:17:32 +0000 http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/?p=3212#comment-7439 Miri, I identified with this so much. It’s been almost 20 years since I moved to NYC (holy $#!+!), and I had the same triggers you describe when some experience was a little bit familiar, rather than completely unfamiliar (which I generally found exhilarating). We are all small-c conservative: none of us enjoys the anxiety provoked whenever our comforting routines change, for any reason. Those routines function to make us feel safe, and keep anxiety at bay. Take my reaction when, say, my coffee store is out of my favorite Peruvian beans. My feelings of disappointment are emotional, and wildly disproportionate to the circumstances: there are 100 other kinds of friggin’ coffee beans here. I understand perfectly well that they can recommend something similar, and I know I will survive (and perhaps even enjoy!) drinking Not My Coffee for a week. I don’t lose it in the store or anything. (And yeah, #firstworldproblems, I know.) But for a moment I sure feel…sad? Crushed? It sounds completely irrational and ridiculous, and it is. But there it is, nonetheless. Perhaps we’re evolved to find changes to our routines deeply jarring, whereas entirely new experiences do not trigger us in the same way.

I think you are 100% right about this:

Eventually I will be able to force myself to do this the new way enough times, and with a short enough interval in between, that the new routine will solidify in my head, and Not My Gym will become my gym, as will my building and the street and the city itself.

In a few weeks, your new routines will become as just as comforting as the old ones ever were. (And then in a few years you’ll move to a different neighborhood, and…there will be another Not My Gym. But the streets and the city will already be yours.) It may not fully hit you until you leave town for a few days or a week, and come back. But I think—actually, I hope—that you are 100% wrong about this:

Eventually I will stop feeling like I’m on some weird vacation/summer camp/reality TV show.

I still feel this way, ever since I ran screaming from the Philly ‘burbs and arrived here with nothing more than a backpack and the phone number of some friends-of-friends looking for a roommate. The city has been an endless source of surprises and interesting people. It challenges and changes me, and I thrive on that. Maybe feeling this way has become part of my own routine? I don’t know. But you sure seem like you have a similar case of the New Yorker bug, and there is only one known cure: be here. : )

]]> By: Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/#comment-7438 Thu, 12 Sep 2013 02:58:33 +0000 http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/?p=3212#comment-7438 In reply to F [is for failure to emerge].

Thank you. ^_^

]]> By: F [is for failure to emerge] https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/#comment-7437 Thu, 12 Sep 2013 01:53:01 +0000 http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/?p=3212#comment-7437 Considering your energy and dedication, and your awareness, I imagine you will come to own the Not Quite Your Thingumies of your new environment. Best wishes.

]]> By: smrnda https://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2013/09/09/you-remember-the-weirdest-little-things/#comment-7436 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 20:23:07 +0000 http://freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason/?p=3212#comment-7436 I’m always astonished at what differences seem to matter the most if I move or just spend a lot of time in a new place. On gyms, I had a tough time since most gyms I went to had the nice hexagonal solid metal dumbbells – the one near me now has round ones, which means if I set them down they have a tendency to roll away when I’m not paying attention, so I can totally relate to the ‘new gym’ problem.

Glad to know you are happy you moved and enjoying it overall!

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