Comments on: Touching People Without Their Consent: Still A Problem Even If It's Not Sexual

By: Chris G.

Chris G. — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 07:55:00 +0000

This really helped me I was wondering how to express my feelings towards my friend without insulting him or crossing boundaries and this helped a ton!

By: Li

Li — Mon, 22 May 2017 08:49:24 +0000

In reply to Nicole.

I know. My MIL doesn’t even touch her own sons, but she constantly wants to hug me, touch my face, squeeze me and hold my hand.

I know she just wants to be nice and make me feel loved, but I can’t STAND being touched by people I don’t reciprocate.

And I take a long time to include people in the touch me wherever circle. I enjoy hugging and being affectionate with a love crush or my husband, but I never enjoyed social physical contact, not even my friends hug me or touch me.

I hug them back sometimes they never force me maybe that is why they are my friends, I prefer mental over physical. Like talking and so on. I don’t need a hug to feel love.

Btw I tried kinda avoiding unwanted kisses/hugs by kinda pushing or swerving but she never gets it which makes me more annoyed.

But I like her and I really don’t know how to avoid it but showing is not because of her but in general. She prob sees as my 2nd mom, but even so.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sun, 16 Apr 2017 05:51:32 +0000

I know this post is old but thank you. I am not a touchy feely person but my in laws are. They do not understand that I do not need to hug and kiss them or sit so close to them my mother in law can constantly touch my leg. I’ve talked to them about it but it doesn’t seem to matter because they ARE touchy feely. So apparently that makes me the weird one.
And so many articles online blame the non touchy feely person like there is something wrong with us. No, there’s not. I just don’t need to be constantly touched by my extended non blood family.

By: Don’t touch people | a person's blog

Don’t touch people | a person's blog — Sat, 10 Dec 2016 21:52:00 +0000

[…] For a read on why you shouldn’t be touching people of either gender without a sexual intent, see here. […]

By: don't touch me!

don't touch me! — Tue, 18 Oct 2016 17:56:40 +0000

I had an experience that rocked me to the core. Now, more than 10 years later, I’m still upset over it. This article really hit home for me as well as many of your comments. I’d post what happened, but I’m very afraid the offending party and/or family members would run across my post and recognize it as me. If the author would like to hear it without it being posted on-line, I’m happy to share. Just reading what everyone has written has been very validating for me. Thank you.

By: don't touch me!

don't touch me! — Tue, 18 Oct 2016 17:53:21 +0000

Very well stated, Sensible Shoes

By: sensible shoes

sensible shoes — Thu, 15 Sep 2016 03:41:01 +0000

I just found this thread when using the search term “unwanted non-sexual touching”. Being very short (4’9″) I have been on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour numerous times and suspect that height may play a role, which may tweak some “maternal instinct” feelings in some people that they insist on indulging – which is intrusive and embarrassing for me. Like other instinctual feelings, such as sexual ones , people need to filter them rather than just act them out. Too many times, attempts to set boundaries get met with some kind of guilt trip like,
“I was just being nice” or “why do you have to be that way –
I like you”, or “lighten up”, etc. Not only are you supposed to not mind this unwanted attention, but it’s as if you should be grateful for it! So their hurt feelings at being told no are more egregious than the indignity you’ve experienced (in other words, their feelings are more important than yours). Someone here used the phrase “power trip” and I think that’s exactly what it is. Even if there is some good intention accompanying such affectionate impulses, it’s still coming from a selfish place that’s more about the giver than the receiver. I can’t find any research to support these hunches, though. Any thought?

By: Miri

Miri — Sun, 21 Aug 2016 02:18:29 +0000

In reply to Mary Richen. I don't really feel qualified to give advice, but Captain Awkward (captainawkward.com) has a lot of advice about situations like this.

By: Mary Richen

Mary Richen — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 02:05:39 +0000

Hi. I have a question. I have a family member who has temper issues. During one of her fat shaming talk she touched me without my expressed consent making me feel violated. I was offended she was taking photos to show me how “fat” I looked but took a step too far when she had pulled my shirt up and was trying to pull my shorts down. I did try to stop her in tge beginning but she was getting more aggressive about it so I ceased attempting to stop her. She then proceeded to take a couple of photos of me and was showing me them to “show how disgusting I looked.” My question is what can I do as this unsettled me mentally and has made me a bit depressed. I know she is family but it us not right when you do that sort of thing and I would like to know what sort of action I can take.

By: Nicola

Nicola — Wed, 21 May 2014 15:03:16 +0000

What about this?

http://introvertedplayboy.com/2013/10/physical-touching-to-attract-women/