Comments on: Death to Debbie Downer

By: Miriam

Miriam — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:51:52 +0000

In reply to Rachel A. Hanson. Thank you so much! :D

By: My Facial Expression is None of Your Business | Brute Reason

My Facial Expression is None of Your Business | Brute Reason — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:50:12 +0000

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By: Rachel A. Hanson

Rachel A. Hanson — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 19:30:46 +0000

Meriam, you’re such a popular lady. I wanted to let you know that I also nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award. http://rachelahanson.com/2011/12/27/versatility-in-blogging/

By: Anne Mari (@carnivalous)

Anne Mari (@carnivalous) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 02:08:59 +0000

I’m glad to have discovered your blog! (via Feministe comments)

I’ve experienced alienation due to my ‘debbie downsmanship’. People’s dismissiveness can be really harmful. Personally, it’s as if my feelings are invalid and unreasonable. Ugh. Thanks for this appeal.

By: Ashley Pariseau

Ashley Pariseau — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 22:28:57 +0000

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, congrats! Check this entry for details: http://loveashley.net/2011/12/26/i-would-like-to-thank-the-blogging-academy/

Hope you are having a happy holiday!

By: Monkeygirl

Monkeygirl — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 20:29:49 +0000

I appreciate your posts too! I know what depression feels like. I know how it hurts. I know how it washes away the full ability to smile or be cheery. People who are depressed already know/feel like they are ‘bringing others down’. When I feel like this my friend tries to cheer me up by arguing with me about all the positive things I don’t see. It actually makes me angry and frustrated when she does this. I’m not looking for someone to disagree with my misery – my misery is real. I don’t need yet another reminder that I’m all alone inside. It doesn’t usually make me feel better, although occasionally it does help to remember that the way I am seeing things isn’t the whole picture. Mostly what I think can be useful, compassionate, and even a defense from those who feel brought down by a debbie downer, can just be to listen for a few minutes, ask why they feel that way, nod, and just accept it. That alone can really help, and sometimes once a person simply feels heard, they themselves lighten up a bit.

On the other hand, depression also involves “self-talk” in which a person reaffirms their own negative view by the way they talk to themselves about themselves and their lives. I have a friend like this and a simple question gets a very negative answer. I think in part she does so because of the positive reinforcement she gets from people cooing over all her ailments and such. I think we can try to choose our moods – to a limited extent. But also our moods are often contagious, infectious, and we do have a responsibility to ourselves and to others to be contagious in a spirit-lifting way. Smiles. Somewhere between miserable Debbie Downer and Stepword Wife “always be positive!” lunacy.

My mother always told me “quit being so negative!” “you’re so negative!” and I wish she had stopped to wonder what she was doing to me as a child that made me feel so deeply dark inside.

But now as I fight depression, it is my struggle to stop being so negative. Debbie Downer implies you are a burden ruining everybody’s fun. That is wrong, as you say. But I like to try to remind myself depression is a Debbie Downer to my own happiness, so I try to say f-you Debbie go away 😉

By: kseloff

kseloff — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:43:53 +0000

I appreciate your many posts regarding mental illness, especially your general point that it is nearly impossible to understand how someone with a mental illness feels unless you have actually “been there, done that”. So many people don’t understand this concept–I know I didn’t until I experienced an episode of major depressive disorder.