Biodork Sloganeers

Every so often I do this thing called Sloganizing Atheism. It’s a chance for we heathens here at Biodork to be all snarky-like about the ubiquitous church signs, billboards, clothing and any other semi-flat surface where the god folk like to print their silly messages so that all can be proselytized to.

I have threatened to give awards for exceptionally witty snark, and have two such awards that I’ve been meaning to give out. I shall dub these two commenters “Biodork Sloganeers” and will give them a place of highest honor in one the four or five pages hidden in the lower 2/3 of my blog sidebar.

I asked commenters to name their favorite response to this billboard:

I’m new to this whole “let’s nominate people” thing, so I take full responsibility for the fact that only one person was nominated. ONE PERSON WAS NOMINATED THOUGH, and that person was Kevin with his response:

“Jesus is …imaginary.”

So Kevin is our first – the first ever – Biodork Sloganeer.

The next award goes to a brilliantly funny response to this sign:

It was decided immediately that kagekiri’s answer was incredibly full of win:

Try Jesus*

*Jesus does not work for everyone. If you fail to see results after your conversion, you may experience victim-blaming and accusations of the failure being your fault.

Side effects of Jesus may include bigotry, self-righteous delusions, distorted views of reality, and martyr-complexes.

Do not take Jesus if you’re using reason, rationality, skepticism, or a desire for truth, as these medications will interfere with the efficacy of Jesus. Remember: Jesus is not a substitute for clear thinking or actually seeking medical attention when required.

Jesus is not approved by the FDA for use on children, the elderly, the grieving, or others prone to emotional manipulation and dogmatic brainwashing. Please use Jesus responsibly.

Jesus may cause extreme guilt and nihilistic self-hatred, and can lead to impotence and sexual shame. Please consult your local skeptic to see if Jesus is right for you.

Welcome Kevin and kagekiri – the first, but hopefully not last, of the Biodork Sloganeers!

This is post 39 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

Biodork Sloganeers
{advertisement}

Sloganizing Atheism – Try Jesus

Moar Sloganizing!

To learn about the thoughts behind Sloganizing Atheism, read this brief post. In the comments you can add your own response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day. Submit original photos with captions/response/secular alternatives to [email protected]

Recognition!

Okay – so Jesus Is … was one of the most popular Sloganizing Atheism posts that we’ve had. I’ve been threatening to start a recognition thingamaroo one of these days once SA picked up steam, and TODAY IS THAT DAY! In the comments you can leave your alternate slogan for today’s SA as usual, but then also add your favorite slogan or comment from the Jesus Is … post (I’d prefer that you put all of this in one comment, plz, but the world won’t stop spinning if you don’t).

Continue reading “Sloganizing Atheism – Try Jesus”

Sloganizing Atheism – Try Jesus

Sloganizing Atheism: Jesus is…

New Sloganizing Atheism submission!

*sighs* This one is almost too easy.

From William in Seattle:

My slogan:

Jesus is welcome in your church, but not in our government.

To learn about the thoughts behind Sloganizing Atheism, read this brief post. In the comments you can add your own response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day. Submit original photos with captions/response/secular alternatives to [email protected]

As I mentioned in the first Sloganizing Atheism post, there may be prizes and/or internet points awarded for involvement at some point. If this picks up steam and I start having a steady supply of photos and participants there will likely be some sort of recognition for awesomeness.

Sloganizing Atheism: Jesus is…

Ambiguous Church Sign

This isn’t really a target for Sloganizing Atheism because it’s not denying science (well, unless you take it to be a literal sentence; then it’s contradictory), it’s not proselytizing (at at least not doing it well) or even really talking about God (as far as I can tell). It’s just one of those things that makes you go hmmm…

What the hell do you think they’ll getting at with this sign?

Thanks to Louise for this confusing submission.

Ambiguous Church Sign

Sloganizing Atheism: Truth Decay

I received a new Sloganizing Atheism submission – w00t!

To learn about the thoughts behind Sloganizing Atheism, read this brief post. In the comments you can add your own response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day. Submit original photos with captions/response/secular alternatives to [email protected]

As I mentioned in the first Sloganizing Atheism post, there may be prizes and/or internet points awarded for involvement at some point. If this picks up steam and I start having a steady supply of photos and participants there will likely be some sort of recognition for awesomeness.

From Mike and Andrea of Wisconsin:

And their snarky response:

Fighting truth decay by studying the Bible is sort of like fighting cancer by starting smoking.

Sloganizing Atheism: Truth Decay

Sloganizing Atheism: Apprentice

New Sloganizing Atheism!

To learn about the thoughts behind Sloganizing Atheism, read this brief post.

In the comments add your own original response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day.

Submit original photos with captions/response/secular alternatives to [email protected]

As I mentioned in the first Sloganizing Atheism post, there may be prizes and/or internet points awarded for involvement at some point. If this picks up steam and I start having a steady supply of photos and participants there will likely be some sort of recognition for awesomeness.

Today’s photo and caption was submitted by FTB reader, Freebird:

…even if you want to bugger children, except if you’re gay, or say my name with a shitty attitude.

Sloganizing Atheism: Apprentice

Sloganizing Atheism: Creation

New Sloganizing Atheism!

Sloganizing Atheism is a response to the elebenty gazillion in-your-face religious billboards, church signs, bumper stickers, t-shirts or other propaganda that I see every day.  It is an offense that religious privilege allows these advertisements to be accepted and go virtually unnoticed while we can’t put up one teensy tiny little bus sign that says “Atheists” without backlash.

You can play along by submitting photos of your own. If you see a religious billboard, church sign, bumper sticker, t-shirt or other propaganda, snap a photo of it and send it to bio_dork(at)hotmail(dot)com. You can either send along a response/atheist alternative slogan, or I’ll make one up. I’ll credit you by name for your contribution, or you can request to stay anonymous.

In the comments add your own original response or atheist/secular alternative to the sign o’ the day. As I mentioned in the first Sloganizing Atheism post, there may be prizes and/or internet points awarded for involvement at some point. If this picks up steam and I start having a steady supply of photos and participants there will likely be some sort of recognition for awesomeness.

Here’s today’s photo:

Billboard in the Omaha, Nebraska area says, “In the beginning God created…” followed by a photo of the Earth from space. There’s also a little picture of the Ascent of  Man with a big red “X” crossing it out.

Snarky Response:

In the beginning God created…a shit storm of violence and bigotry that persists to this day.

Sloganizing Atheism: Creation

Happy Friday!

No time for a real blog post. I have to get into work early so I can get out of work early so some friends and I can drive down to Omaha, Nebraska this evening. Just a few things:

If you live between Minneapolis and Omaha (including Des Moines, Iowa) download Patient Zero onto your Android smartphones! I’m coming your way and I look forward to spreading Dorkiness to all of you and maybe bringing back some foreign viruses to Minneapolis. UPDATE: I’m responsible for spreading Dorkiness to 38 people so far and I’m currently carrying the Kellis-Amberlee cold, Dr. Who Syndrome, Hypocaffeinatia, Judaism and LameCarl.

It was lovely to see everyone at the Minnesota Skeptics meetup last night.

Mike Brown’s talk “How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming” was a lot of fun. I’ve said it before but I love when scientists are also entertaining educators! Also, a ton of science nerds showed up for the event; the main auditorium AND the overflow lecture hall were completely filled and had people standing against the walls and on sitting on the stairs.

Keep those submissions coming for Sloganizing Atheism. So far I’ve received a handful of emails containing signs that have been well-circulated on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not against using them, but my preference is to put up original, corny photos from where YOU live.

And here’s a wonderful video that’s been on my mind since I saw it over at Le Cafe Witteveen on Tuesday. This is the kind of stuff that makes me dream.

Happy Friday!

Sloganizing Atheism: Differences

This is the second Sloganizing Atheism post (this was the first). As a refresher:

Sloganizing Atheism is a response to the elebenty gazillion in-your-face religious billboards, church signs, bumper stickers, t-shirts or other propaganda. They’re so ubiquitous that I bet most people don’t even notice them. But they’re an annoyance to those of us who 1) don’t agree with the message, and 2) are offended by the privilege that allows this type of religious advertising to go unnoticed while we can’t put up one teensy tiny little bus sign that says “Atheists” without backlash.

So, here’s how it works:

Continue reading “Sloganizing Atheism: Differences”

Sloganizing Atheism: Differences

Sloganizing Atheism: Try Prayer

The law of sloganizing: For every crappy bumper sticker message, there is an equal and opposite crappy bumper sticker message.

In my day I run across a gazillion and ten different religious advertisements. I usually just mumble a snarky response to myself and move on, but I thought it would be fun to share the snark. I hope to start a collection of responses to bumper sticker religiosity here.

Want to help?

If you see a crappy religious billboard, church sign, bumper sticker, t-shirt or other propaganda, snap a photo of it and send it to bio_dork(at)hotmail(dot)com. You can either send along a response, or I’ll make one up. I’ll credit you by name for your contribution, or you can request to stay anonymous. Happy hunting!

You can also play from home by suggesting an alternate caption/response to the day’s photo in the comments. Like for the one below.

There may be prizes and/or internet points awarded for involvement at some point.

Bumper sticker seen in Minneapolis, MN. Reads “Trouble? Try Prayer”

Tried Prayer. Didn’t Work.

Sloganizing Atheism: Try Prayer