But this makes me feel better!

Applesauce, hot toddies, pho, tea and honey – all good ideas that might make this cough/sore throat combo ease up.

But this has brightened my entire day:

Michelle Bachman isn’t running in 2014!

And yea, there was much rejoicing! – the infamous Michelle Bachman crazy eyes yell photo


She said some stuff and things in this YouTube video, but I only made it through four minutes of her sickly sweet, prettily-worded hateful speech, I think I’ll save the rest it for when I’m feeling better. For now I’ll rest in the warm glow of knowing that soon Michelle Bachmann won’t be representing Minnesota in Congress. I’m sure someone will pick up the slack in the Tea Party/Right-wing politics/conservative Christian values/muckracking ring, but it won’t be Shelley!

But this makes me feel better!

HPV Vaccine: Making It Personal

I watched the CNN Tea Party Republican debate on Monday night. I disagreed with a lot of the issues that the candidates presented, and my blood really boiled when the candidates skirted direct questions to make snarky personal attacks on each other and President Obama. And I really, really mourned for the human race when it became clear that the audience went wild every time a cutthroat comment was made, regardless of the comment’s bearing on the question at hand. But every now and then there was a bit of level-headed debate from some of the candidates on some of the issues.

The HPV vaccine was not one of them.

Four years ago Rick Perry signed an executive order that required Texas girls to be vaccinated against HPV. He was lambasted for that decision on several fronts. Some people believe that vaccination against the STI condones premarital sex (excuse me while I go weep in the corner), some  think that Perry abused the executive order to mandate health care, that he threatened parents’ rights to decide what is best for their children (even though the executive order allowed for parental opt-out), or that he signed the mandate in order to reward political donations from Merck, the producer of the vaccine. Michelle Bachmann, in an amazing show of moral self-righteousness, predatory fear-mongering, and willful ignorance of vaccine safety used all of these arguments to rail against Perry on Monday’s Republican debate.

Dear American voters – lead us not to Michelle Bachmann, but deliver us from her evil. For thine is the will of the people, and…you are our only hope. Or something like that.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a big supporter of vaccines. We have regulatory bodies as well as an informed medical and scientific community that is able to evaluate the safety and efficacy of vaccines. Also, we have science! Science that any layman can access with a little bit of internet searching! If the majority of the medical establishment supports a vaccine, I’m behind it. Because you know what sucks? People suffering and dying from preventable illnesses.

The HPV vaccine offers hope to women because we are susceptible to HPV-caused cervical cancer. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection – 50% of sexually active Americans will become infected sometime in their lives. We need to stop viewing HPV infection as a punishment for having sex and start viewing it as a risk that we can decrease when we do have sex. Sex happens, so does HPV. Vaccinate, vaccinate, vaccinate!

I found the following personal story from Quiche Moraine on the Almost Diamonds blog. This is the kind of heartwrenching stress, agony, physical pain and emotional trauma that the HPV vaccine may help prevent. The vaccine is a medical wonder, and I shame those who pervert it into a political tool.

From Quiche Moraine:

One day your doctor calls. You think to yourself, “Huh. Last clinic, it would have been a nurse. Whatever.” And the news is good: Blood work, even the special stuff they did because you’ve not been feeling well and you have a family history, is perfectly, beautifully normal.

Oh, except the Pap smear came back abnormal and here’s the number for a gynecological clinic and tell them “CIN 2-3″ when you call to make the appointment for a colposcopy.
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HPV Vaccine: Making It Personal

I Dream of Michelle Bachmann

In which my usually supressed snark emerges via the subconcious circus we call dreaming:

While wearing a wire (for some reason), I found myself in a conversation with Michelle Bachmann. Actually, the fact that I was having a calm discussion with Shelly B. instead of going red from yelling at her smug, righteous, durp-eyed face is what keyed me into the fact that this was a dream rather than reality.

So anyway, while we were chatting like life-long gal pals, Shelly B. admitted that she was in “this whole presidential race thing” (she actually did the air quotes) for the money and the fame, and that she didn’t believe any of the right-wing bullshit abstinence-only education/anti-choice rhetoric/marriage is between one man and one-woman crap, but that it made a HELL of a commercial spot and brought in some sweet campaign donations.

She also told me that she had no idea that she was staring at the wrong camera during her Tea Party response to the last State of the Union address. It was just that she couldn’t understand the directions from the Spanish-speaking Mexican immigrant cameraman who she had illegally shipped into the US to work for her campaign for $2/hr.

And she told me that was having an on-going affair with Amanda Marcotte (that’s what I get for reading Pandagon right before going to bed). Sorry, Amanda.

And that she had a love child with Mark Dayton, but had never told Dayton and had shipped the little shit (her words, not mine…well, technically mine since it was my dream, but Dream Shelly B. totally said it) off to Uganda to live with Mormons (and that would be me watching clips from Broadway’s The Book of Mormon right before bedtime).

And then the alarm went off.

I was never so sad as when I sat up and realized that I hadn’t just had this conversation with Michelle Bachmann in real life while wearing a wire.

And then I shipped that little shit off to Uganda!

Photo via The Examiner

I Dream of Michelle Bachmann