Biodork Sloganeers

Every so often I do this thing called Sloganizing Atheism. It’s a chance for we heathens here at Biodork to be all snarky-like about the ubiquitous church signs, billboards, clothing and any other semi-flat surface where the god folk like to print their silly messages so that all can be proselytized to.

I have threatened to give awards for exceptionally witty snark, and have two such awards that I’ve been meaning to give out. I shall dub these two commenters “Biodork Sloganeers” and will give them a place of highest honor in one the four or five pages hidden in the lower 2/3 of my blog sidebar.

I asked commenters to name their favorite response to this billboard:

I’m new to this whole “let’s nominate people” thing, so I take full responsibility for the fact that only one person was nominated. ONE PERSON WAS NOMINATED THOUGH, and that person was Kevin with his response:

“Jesus is …imaginary.”

So Kevin is our first – the first ever – Biodork Sloganeer.

The next award goes to a brilliantly funny response to this sign:

It was decided immediately that kagekiri’s answer was incredibly full of win:

Try Jesus*

*Jesus does not work for everyone. If you fail to see results after your conversion, you may experience victim-blaming and accusations of the failure being your fault.

Side effects of Jesus may include bigotry, self-righteous delusions, distorted views of reality, and martyr-complexes.

Do not take Jesus if you’re using reason, rationality, skepticism, or a desire for truth, as these medications will interfere with the efficacy of Jesus. Remember: Jesus is not a substitute for clear thinking or actually seeking medical attention when required.

Jesus is not approved by the FDA for use on children, the elderly, the grieving, or others prone to emotional manipulation and dogmatic brainwashing. Please use Jesus responsibly.

Jesus may cause extreme guilt and nihilistic self-hatred, and can lead to impotence and sexual shame. Please consult your local skeptic to see if Jesus is right for you.

Welcome Kevin and kagekiri – the first, but hopefully not last, of the Biodork Sloganeers!

This is post 39 of 49 in the SSAweek Biodork Blogathon. Donate to the SSA today! Read more about my reader challenges here.

Biodork Sloganeers
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I get an award.

Regular reader and bloggess of dark urban fantasy, Alannah has awardified me with an award:

I think that’s a nice way to say that this blog is all over the effin board in regard to content. But that’s how we roll over here at Biodork. I’m a jack of all trades, master of none. I know a little about a lot of things. Insert other cliches here.

So per the “rules” of this chain-letter type award I’m supposed to nominate some other blogs and tell you some things about myself. I can do that. I’m always running across exciting new blogs and adding to my blogroll, so this is a good opportunity to pass on some well-deserved kudos for blogs well-written.

Here ye, here ye! I now award The Versatile Blogger Award to – drum roll please! –

I Want to Unfold – Life, Laughter and Music written by an adventurous wander and seeker of knowledge and new experiences. Michelle is an avid music fan, musician and music writer for Examiner.com

Almost Diamonds – One of my newer finds, but Almost Diamonds has been around since 2007. The author writes skeptically about skeptical topics and skepticism, AND she breaks up the tide of serious topics with stories, personal experiences and funny videos and other internet gems.

And two oldy but goodies: I’ve reblogged articles from Blag Hag and Le Cafe Witteveen before, and they’re probably two of the blogs that I’ve been reading since I stumbled into the blog0sphere.

Blag Hag is the very definition of versatile and is a very popular blogger, especially since her Boobquake event in 2010.  Aside from very serious and well-written pieces about feminism, atheism and equality (to name a few) she also share stories about her experiences in grad school, her life in apartment hell, geeky gamer stuff, her speaking engagements, and funny stories from the internet.

Le Cafe Witteveen is written by a Chicago-based professional photographer and videographer. Aside from sharing some of his and his partner’s gorgeous professional and personal artwork, he often writes very thought pieces about his journey from young evangelical leader to rabid, baby-eating atheist. And he’s not above sharing a good poop joke now and then.

And some stuff about me:

  • I like magnets a lot. If I get no other souvenier from a journey, I will at least get a magnet to throw on the side of my fridge as a reminder of the places I’ve been.
  • I love to fiddle with things. Give me a toy that I can put together and take apart and manipulate while I’m watching TV or having a conversation and I’m pleased as punch.
  • I am a conversation interupter and highly enthusiastic. I’ve had to train myself out of this one because it is F&CK*NG annoying. I do slip up now and then, though. I am also an excellent listener. When I’m not interrupting you with my own thoughts, that is.
  • I still have trouble believing Penn and Teller’s Recycling episode.
  • I am one of the geekiest geeks I know who hasn’t seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. It looks really, really boring and I haven’t made myself watch it yet.
  • I have 15 blog posts started and sitting in my drafts folder. Gotta get to those.
  • I save twitter posts to my Favorites with every intention of going back and reading them and then removing them from the Favorites list. So far I have 1648 tweets in that list.

K, that’s enough of that. No more state secrets for you guys – who knows where they’ll end up?

I get an award.