CN: Use of gendered pronouns. Words like men and women are blurry with respect to reproduction and pregnancy, but I am sticking with convention to address the claims and assumptions of this video.
It took me a few days to get around to watching this four-minute video because I knew that I didn’t have the even to deal with it. But tonight I’m feeling like I can do it. Let’s all do it – together!
We’re opening with a shot of a church and some somber but hopeful music. The videographer has spliced together the stories of three men, each one sitting in a church pew. They introduce themselves by name and then go on to share that they’re all Christians.
Yup, expected that out of a blatantly anti-abortion piece. Let’s continue.
The music rises with a slightly dramatic flair, and then one, two, three:
“I had an abortion.”
“I had two abortions.”
“I had an abortion.”
Cue pause to give us a moment to soak it all in – our first appalled gasp that these men have killed pre-born children, a surge of sadness for the lost lives and their darkened souls, and then a chance for us to consider the strength and bravery that it must have taken for these men to share such heart-wrenching admissions with us.
Ready to move on? It’s story-sharing time!
Dude #1: He was young, didn’t know God very well, started dating this gal and she got pregnant…
Wait, wait, wait…He went from starting to date some gal to “she got pregnant.” Just like that? Was it magic? Where’s the mention of his role in this phenomenon? She got pregnant, but he had the abortion? How’s that work?
Dude #2: He hadn’t yet adopted an anti-choice stance so he “never even fought for the opportunity to save the child.”
Either of them, apparently, because remember: he “had two abortions.” So…he gave zero shits back then, but fast forward to today and he regrets that those abortions were available to his partner at the time. So now he thinks that he should get to tell other people that they shouldn’t be able to make the same choice that she had the freedom to make. Always love that line of reasoning.
Third dude: No backstory, just “I conceded to an abortion.” You conceded to an abortion? Wait… you conceded to an abortion? Crap…I’m losing my even. Let’s come back to that one later. Dude #3 shares that the fact that he. conceded. to an abortion still haunts him to this day.
HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS – there’s background footage of him kneeling at a grave stone in a graveyard while he says this!
Roll video of healthy, smiling white babies and toddlers while he talks about how he’ll never know what his child would have been like.
NO SHIT DUDE #2 JUST LITERALLY SAID “I should have manned up.” !!!!!!! Also “I should have fought for you.” And now he’s looking at the camera, holding back tears and addressing his aborted fetus, “I’m so glad you are in Heaven with Jesus, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords…”
“The pain of regret is one of the hardest pains to live with because it’s a constant reminder that we let down God, we let down others.”
Yeah…that’s way worse than the pain of treating another person like an incubator and denying a person her bodily autonomy, right? Just kidding, these guys don’t care about that.
“And I know I’m not alone because an estimated 1 in 3…”
And here’s where they work in the “abortion holocaust” numbers.
All three of them offer regrets to you if YOU’VE had an abortion. They are so sorry. So sorry. Sorry for the burdens and the weights that you’ve had to carry.
Yeah…I’ve been meaning to clean out my purse.
So sorry that women were subjected to such a terrible thing.
Abortion – a super safe, minor, medical procedure. Sometimes even life-saving. Not so terrible.
So sorry that no one tried to rescue you.
So sorry to burst your patriarchal bubble, but reminder: women are autonomous human beings and unless you are a doctor, paramedic, firefighter, etc. getting us out of a physically harmful situation, we probably don’t need your “rescuing.” And we certainly don’t need any moral rescuing, which is something else they’re likely trying to imply.
So sorry that men haven’t taken a greater stance in this area.
Tell that to the huge group of white guys that comes down for the rosary congo line every Saturday at my clinic. Tell that to the huge group of white guys in Congress right now who have made their primary mission one of curtailing a woman’s right to abortion and other medical options.
Sorry that the church has not been there for you.
Now this one I’d agree with. The official stance of most religions is pretty anti-choice, giving little room to their women members to have an abortion without shame or fear, and they tend to offer little in the way of supporting the autonomous decisions of one half of their members, especially if that decision is abortion. I’d say that’s a great example of the church not being there.
However some churches and individual church leaders have always supported abortion as a humane choice, and to them I say – don’t listen to this guy; he quite obviously doesn’t have a clue.
Looks like the apologies are finally wrapping up. These pious Christians do love their repentance gig, don’t they?
Oh, but wait…sounds like they’re hopeful about some things too. Let’s find out what.
They are hopeful about the young generation of anti-choice activists “you guys just keep contending for life! …rise up and say ‘No more!’” Dude #3 wants you to know that someone should have been there to rescue you, but you do have a rescuer and can find hope in Christ. “You don’t have to live in shame and darkness…”
See – because having an abortion is shameful according to him. Shame on 33% of women in the United States. Shame!
Dude #3 leaves us with some comforting words: If you are Christian but don’t agree with what these guys are saying, maybe you just haven’t really felt Christ yet. Try harder. Confess and repent. God will answer your prayers.
Isn’t it comforting to know that you’ve just being Doing It Wrong?
And close with advertising for the group that made the video and a link so you can support the unborn spiritually and financially.
Let’s talk a few points here.
Women don’t “need saving” from abortions. We don’t “need saving” from our right to make medical decisions. Kthxbai.
This idea that “men have abortions” I’m guessing stems from the idea that men are responsible for the pregnancy just as much as women, and therefore, when she aborts, he aborts. And if he “lets” her get an abortion, he’s just as much responsible for that abortion as she is.
Here’s why that’s wrong.
It’s not his body. The body that is pregnant is not his and does not belong to him.
A man may have a role in getting a woman pregnant. Admittedly, it’s difficult to get pregnant without sperm. But while he is partly responsible for fertilizing an egg, he is not responsible for the pregnancy. Women are the ones who get shackled with the mental, physical, cultural and socioeconomic strain of being pregnant – i.e., the responsibility of pregnancy.
A woman is an individual human being. She and only she gets a say in what goes on with her body. No other person – man or woman, family or friend, lover, husband or parent, doctor or government – should get to override a healthy adult woman’s choice about what she does with her body.
Men don’t “have abortions” because men don’t get pregnant and they have no say in reproductive decisions other than those that they are granted (and personal responsibility in the way of using birth control to attempt to prevent pregnancy). Our uteruses, our decisions.
So if you’re the kind of “pro-life” man who thinks he’s going to be making reproductive decisions for the women that he sleeps with, you best let her know about that mindset before you get into her bed so that she is very clear to her it will be your call about what to do with any unintended pregnancies. I think that would be a very Christian thing for you to do.