You May Not Be A Real Man(TM)

This billboard was placed in my neighborhood for a few weeks.

Sign shows a man holding a baby with the text "Real Men Love Babies" Heatbeat at 18 days.

Apologies for the crap quality – I took this photo at night, on my cell phone, over my shoulder as the Hubby was driving through an intersection. If for some reason you’re interested in seeing a “better” version, NYCyclist over at Jezebel Groupthink took a photo of the same sign when it was put up in the Bronx.

I used to not see the problem with the “real men” campaigns, especially when they were used for good* instead of evil. I once very proudly sent an anti-homophobia campaign video that used the “real men” message (in this case, a bunch of smiling women holding signs that read “real men don’t discriminate”, etc), to More Than Men in the hope that they would help spread the message. Sasha was kind and patient enough to rip apart the (several) problems with the video, and I haven’t used or endorsed the term “real man” since. I’ve also become more tuned in to when other people do. Like when shitty forced-birth proponents push that shit on their shitty anti-abortion signs.

My husband doesn’t like babies. I have male friends who would rather get a root canal than be in the same room with a toddler or a crying baby for a prolonged amount of time. They all identify as men. And I know lots of men who love babies who are pro-choice and pro-abortion. Oops, must be something wrong with the anti-choice logic there.

Cartoon emoticon with hands on it's face looking shocked

 Religious fundamentalism, illogical? Shocking.

But this isn’t an original message by any means. When I’m clinic escorting, protesters always target male companions (or they may be unwittingly harassing clients, not that the right wing fundies would ever consider that a man could get pregnant – that’d just ‘splode their little brains) with phrases like “Now’s the time for you to stand up and be a man.” “You don’t have to let her do this!” “That’s your baby too!” “God expects more from you, son!” “A real man would stand up for his child – don’t let her murder your baby!”

*deep breath* Give me a second, I have to get the nausea that’s rolling through my stomach under control.

So many things wrong with all of these arguments. The idea of “being a man”, meaning what? That he isn’t currently a man? Should he establish his male dominance and order her to not get an abortion?  “You don’t have to let her do this.” Uh…yeah he does. What’s the alternative – coercion? “That’s your baby, too!” Uh, nope. That’s her body and it’s her decision to make about what to do with the clump o’ cells that’s in her autonomous self. God expects more from you, son.” Expects more from him than…what? Than he does from her? What exactly does God expect him to do, anyway? Are we back to coercion? (Secondary response: Haha! There is no god!)  “Don’t let her murder your baby.” Not a baby, not his property (neither woman nor clump o’ cells), not murder, not his choice.

But yeah…Real MenTM Love Babies. And according to the anti-choice crowd the only way one can be a Real ManTM is to deny your lady-folk their bodily autonomy. So all you non-baby loving, not real men take that. Or something.


*Good = You know…things that I agreed with.

You May Not Be A Real Man(TM)
The Orbit is still fighting a SLAPP suit! Help defend freedom of speech, click here to find out more and donate!

284 thoughts on “You May Not Be A Real Man(TM)

  1. 3

    They’re also assuming that any woman going to the clinic is going there to get an abortion. Since most also provide other women’s health services (including prenatal care for women who intend to give birth), and most (depending on state law) can’t provide abortions after the first trimester, it’s likely any woman who’s obviously pregnant isn’t going there for an abortion at all. Not that anti-choicers would be detracted by anything like facts.

  2. 4

    On the issue of using “Real Men” as a qualifier for behavior we feel is proper, perhaps “Grown-up” is a better term. It’s inclusive, give the kids something to aspire to, and focuses on changes in behavior, rather than innate characteristics.

  3. 5

    I pass that awful sign every day walking home from commuter train – don’t know if you are in my neighborhood, they probably have a lot.

    No one could object to a man loving his children (of course, they only show white man/baby). But it’s a helluva stretch to go from there to forbidding a woman to use birth control and forcing her to carry subsequent pregnancies to term. That’s not love. That’s hate.

    Notice they don’t talk about “real men” supporting children?

  4. 7

    Bir iş toplantısına, romantik bir akşam yemeğine veya başka bir İzmir mekanına veya etkinliğine gittiğimiz her yerde, her zaman ihtiyaçlarınıza göre giyineceğim. Yurtiçi (İsviçre) ve uluslararası seyahatler, hafta sonları veya isteyebileceğiniz diğer etkinlikler için uygunum. Lüks izmir escort servisim hakkında konuştuğumuzda, oldukça fazlasını sunuyorum ve yatak odasında oyun oynamak söz konusu olduğunda, kesinlikle bunun için varım.

  5. 8

    Eskort hizmetlerimin tadını İskenderun’da çıkaracaksınız. Sana söz veriyorum, garanti ederim, hizmetlerimi asla unutmayacaksın. Memnun, hayret, şaşkın, her ne demek isterseniz, onları seveceksiniz, daha önce de söylediğim gibi birçok iskenderun escort yeni şeye açığım ve yeni deneyimlerin tadını çıkarıyorum. Yeni insanlarla tanışmayı seviyorum çünkü insanların etrafında olmayı seviyorum

  6. 19

    Alternative Ways To Travel Successfully And Effectively Travelling might be loads of fun but many people will not enjoy basically preparing the getaway. It might be rather insane and busy when attempting to organize a vacation. Read these guidelines on how to prepare for a visit and doing everything possible to enjoy it. When going to a unfamiliar region, see the taxi cabs you enter in. Ensure that the taxi cab is actually a taxi cab before you choose legit operators. Develop a collection for the getaway! When you are travelling by vehicle or airplane with toddlers, you must bring along things which will keep him curious and delighted in the journey. Try out take along a number of your child’s favorite games. You can also purchase a new toys to the journey since this will provide him sufficient distraction to help keep him hectic. Before you book, do your research. Discover reviews of the spots you intend to look. Check with people you know who have traveled there. This will give you to foresee exactly what you will come across. Make sure that someone near who you have confidence in back home is aware your traveling itinerary. This may guarantee that somebody else to discover what your location is. Keep in touch with that experience of them also. If they hear from you, they will likely know you’re risk-free. Look at your motel alert once you arrive. Set up the alert away totally. Look at the times on as soon as your passports. Numerous places have certain rules into position about passport expiration. Should your passport comes to an end shortly, many will not enable you enter their region. When traveling, be sure to put on light shoes or boots which are really comfortable and simple to kick away from. Protection assessments at checkpoints will have you eliminate them. The ultimate shoes for soaring might nicely be flip flops or flip flops. Baggage tag are in transit. Take a business greeting card out of your resort while you check out your spot metropolis. This really is beneficial if you do not are aware of the terminology properly. Become a member of journey message boards and societal websites centered around traveling. A travel community is the simplest way to get ready for your vacation. This allows you to in a small group of those who reveal activities to prevent generating their mistakes or lacking some great locations on your own getaway. Vacationing is something a lot of people will end up doing at least once, as we discussed. This is the reason you could be much better well prepared, making use of this details for just about any vacation situations that you may run into. Some day you could be glad you read the guidance in this post!

  7. 25

    Approximately canada online chemist’s shop into a summary where she be required to end herself, up period circulation-to-face with the united and renal replacement remedy himselfРІ GOP Uptake Dan Crenshaw Crystalloids Cradle РІSNLРІ Modifiers Him For Individual Aim In Midwest. order Albuterol viagra online

  8. 80

    I really love your site.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you develop this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m wanting to create my very own blog and want to know where you got this from or what the theme is called. Kudos!

  9. 87

    My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  10. 93

    Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will come back once again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

  11. 97

    Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve visited this website before but after going through many of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!

  12. 144

    Lots of people expertise fantastic difficulty when organizing their travel, however the process does not should be as challenging or pricey as you may believe. Advents in customer service and technology, allow you to prepare your travel inside the easiest and most affordable manor. This article is meant to assist you via your travel preparation with useful tips. When traveling, never acquire an item from somebody to transfer it on their behalf. No matter their scenario or how great they may seem to be, this is almost always a snare to persuade an unwary tourist to move prescription drugs or other contraband into protect areas. Even “gift ideas” can fall into this class. A Global positioning system navigation method is absolutely vital for just about any long-extended distance automobile getaway. In case your vehicle did not feature a manufacturer the navigation system, you ought to consider buying one just before hitting the wide open road. GPS helps you find choice ways when closures, targeted traffic or incidents shut the highway in advance. Global positioning system can also help you stay out of risk if you come across urgent problems. When you have intends to traveling, the most significant prep you want to do is create a listing of everything required from toiletries to extra content articles of garments. Before you leave, be sure that many of these merchandise is loaded because most probable when you forget about one thing, the gift idea shops available to you will overcharge for simple such things as tooth paste or shampoo. Investigate new lands and increase your perspectives. Try your greatest to continually investigate new spots you haven’t been to well before. You simply obtain one picture at lifestyle and you don’t would like to commit it seeing the same area repeatedly. So go out to the planet and explore new locations and are living new activities. With the amount of resources readily available for travellers, there is no purpose to allow your impending journey leave you stressed out and stressed. As opposed to permitting yourself to miss out on the enjoyment and spontaneity of a leisurely vacation, keep in mind advice in this post to help make the most out of your time and effort in foreign countries.

  13. 160

    Hello would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a difficult time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  14. 175

    Wonderful work! This is the type of info that should be shared across the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this publish upper! Come on over and visit my website . Thanks =)

  15. 224

    Hello! I could have sworn I’ve visited this website before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m certainly happy I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!

  16. 238

    Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.

  17. 267

    Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any support is very much appreciated.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *