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Oh, but let’s continue the women = pearls analogy, shall we? What do we do with this symbol of purity after we’ve dug it out of the Real Oyster Shell in the kit? Well, what does one do to keep purity safe? We keep it in a cage:
Oh Sea Life… couldn’t you just stick with the over-priced cute plush turtles and sharks?
That is all kinds of wrong. Hurl, indeed.
The banner ad up top is for Gas-X Chewables.
How does one get there from “Purity Pearls?” Do I even want an answer to that?
Ollie the Oyster clarifies:
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forgive me if I’m crass,
but it’s what I use as moleskin,
for the blister on my ass!”
“White for Health
Cream for Happiness
Peach for Love
Lavendar for Wisdom
Gold for Wealth”
What my wife wanted to know was where was “Black for Johnny Depp in a pirate costume”
Let’s face it, Captain Jack Sparrow is far more realistic than than this claptrap…
I thought at first it was a kit that let you grow a pearl somehow and thought hey, at least that part’s cool. But it’s not so there isn’t a single cool thing about this, not even some accidental science.
I like the “Experience the thrill of opening one of nature’s most perfect gifts.”
You mean the pearl or the woman?
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