Eddie Kritzer: Holiday Edition, ctd

No update on the Kritz would be complete without a creepy email littered with bad grammar from the jerk himself.

Dearest Ashley, I haven’t heard from you in so long I was concerned that you lost your job editing, but then i checked IMDbPro.com http://imdb.com/name/nm1736719/ and saw you had no credits at all. Not surprising; most old ladies, with much to say, and little credits need a blog (i.e. Unpublished writer/no credits) need a place to cry. I also notice you personalize your blog. It has to be tough writing and never selling anything, you become frustrated, and decide to rag on anybody who’s handy. I have read your boring blogs (just to be informed) and all you do is cry, at least you consistent I do want to make sure your massive audience, (your mother, father one cousin & Me) would know the truth. When an uncredited writer (such as say Vance) submits, they may sign an agreement, but then after working on them placing them with Studios, production companies, etc, they may say, Eddie, thanks for all the help,, but I have decided that IM not going do this, thanks for the help. One Time I got The Tightwad Twins a publishing deal with HCI Books, Publishers of Chicken Soup for The Soul Series) I then booked them on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show they informed me and The Publisher that they don’t like to draw attention to them selves and decided not to do it. On several other occasions I got deals for writers at major publishers, and or at studios, and they decided against moving forward……. Dearest Ashley, since your such a driving force in our industry, I know you will get out the word as to whyI always require an advance against my commisions. People/ writers, dont always keep their word, so I need to know their serious, they get it back just like Dr. J.R. Bruns, and Dr. R. A/ Richards did when I sold The Tiger Woods Syndrome (HCI Books) As always wishing you a happy and succesful 2011 just like 2010 Your lover and still even though you just layed there, sort of like your writing. Eddie Kritzer eddiekritzer.com some minor detials I know it’s not much but we each do what we can

All I can really add to this is I’ve got over 60 credits on imdb, I’ve optioned a screenplay, sold several articles, and got over 10000 hits on this website alone last month.  And if I didn’t have any, it’d still mean that this ‘agent’ thought it was ok to bully young unpublished writers by making fun of their unpublished status.

And, just so everyone is clear, it is against wga policy for an agent to require an advance.  It is a disgusting attempt to bilk inexperienced writers.  He’s also just sort of disgusting.  Even if what he was doing wasn’t a scam, does anyone want someone who is this unprofessional to represent them?  Thank you, Eddie, for once again demonstrating your true character.

Eddie Kritzer: Holiday Edition, ctd

4 thoughts on “Eddie Kritzer: Holiday Edition, ctd

  1. 1

    May I say, that letter from Mr. Kritzer demonstrates his extreme confidence in his abilities and prowess. I have usually discovered that quite often people that do stuff like that tend to be compensating for something.

  2. Cyn

    Wow. He’s still breathing? And here I’ve been waiting for Eddie Kritzer to come to the pathetic and/or violent end we all know is coming. (Is it possible to be both pathetic and violent? I imagine it is, if only for Eddie Kritzer.)

    1. 2.1

      I don’t think slime has to breathe. And slime, I think you could die by slime in a way that was both violent and pathetic. Like, if you suddenly had a bucket of slime dumped on you and you drowned in it.

  3. 3

    Speaking as someone who’s been represented by agents in the past, ONLY scumbags demand money up front from the talent. If they’re worth their salt and believe in you, they don’t need it. Otherwise one or both are lacking.

    As for the books he’s associated with that went anywhere, this is like John Robert Powers toting out actors and actresses they signed who went on to perform in Disney Channel crap or Saved By The Bell actors nobody cares about anymore. Scumbags can occasionally be successful when they accidentally get a client with a modicum of talent and set their sites low on who to promote them to.

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