Real America – Roy Zimmerman

I couldn’t find these lyrics online anywhere, and I really love them, so I just… did them. You should buy Roy Zimmerman’s album of the same name.

There’s a place called Real America.
I heard about it from a rich politician.
It magically appears,
Especially in election years.

Life is good in Real America.
It’s like living with a thousand Sarah Palins.
Stroll Main Street hand in hand,
And take a right to Fantasy Land.

Let’s go to Real America,
Happy Meal America.
Where we can be proud we don’t talk well.
Meet me in Real America,
Michael Steele America.
At the corner of Norman and Rockwell…

Things are real in Real America.
And up is down and Joe the Plumber is a genius.
They’ve got just two stop lights,
And no one steals and no fights… for civil rights.

Let’s go to Real America,
Oldsmobile America.
Shove the kids in the backseat and bring ’em
Along to Real America,
Spin the big wheel America.
All done up in denim and gingham.

I don’t know who they got there,
but I can tell you whose not there:

Ain’t none of them Ivy League elites
Not a one of them San Francisco treats
Ain’t none of them whining tofu snobs
Not a one of them Daily Show whack jobs

Ain’t none of them corporate media sluts
Not a one of the academia nuts
Ain’t none of them friggin’ francophiles
Not a one of them New York non-gentiles…

I believe in Real America…
So I vote against my economic interests…

Let’s go to Real America,
Deal or No Deal America.
I can’t tell you how happy I’d be if I
Get to go to Real America,
Norman Vincent Peale America,
Where Ronald Reagan is deified…
Real America.

Uh huh
Real America
Well, duh
Where no one uses profanity…
Real America
Cuz they’re so full of Sean Hannity.

And you can watch his hilariousness on the YouTubes:

Real America – Roy Zimmerman

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